MCG Test, Australia v India – Day Two: Tweetlotto

Part of this article will refer to the actual tweets that I managed to squeeze out before and during play. Sadly the phone battery started to run dry about midway through the day so I don’t have a lot from the second half of the day’s play. Again I’m just thinking about different ways to get articles online without being standard.

TWEET 1 @ 10:05 AM: Wonderful Melbourne day for the resumption of the complete with 7-eleven coffee.

Just to be different, instead of the train which I rushed to on Boxing Day via a Macca’s stop, I decided to catch the number 96 tram into the city. Stopping at Swanston Street I found a 7-Eleven with ATM, and thought this was as good a place to get a coffee to perk me up for the day. I actually slept a little l0nger than anticipated, watching the highlights overnight of Brendon McCullum’s Boxing Day Massacre (Sri Lanka are following on BTW).

TWEET 2 @ 10:23AM (Via Instagram): Looking at 50000 today judging by these ticket queues

They got longer behind me which you can’t see on the photo (my instagram again is MHJeffrey027). Obviously several others used my line of thinking figuring that there won’t be a big enough crowd to justify having to pre-book seating. I’m sure it had nothing to do with the surcharges I mentioned yesterday. Turned out to be a prophetic statement, for over 51000 was the announced crowd.

TWEET 3 @ 10:56 AM (Via Instagram): Think the 30 minutes of waiting was worth it. Close to behind the bowlers arm.

Rather than sell tickets according to the stand or closest gate to where you purchased your ticket, the sellers decided to channel their inner Scott Clayton and choose “Best Available”. Sadly for me it meant a trek from Gate 3 to Gate 6, although the seat allocated was close to behind the bowler’s arm, a view I haven’t had since the debacle of Boxing Day 2010.

TWEET 4 @ 10:57 AM: Welcome back Hadds.

Brad Haddin raced to a half century, pity I missed about 25 of his runs waiting in line to see it.

TWEET 5 @ 11:12 AM: This hybrid distance mid wicket isn’t/never will work. Get him closer.

In an attempt to stem the flow of runs Indian skipper MS Dhoni decided to, for some reason, place his deep mid wicket 60% of the way to the boundary instead of either 90% (which is the normal position for the boundary riding deep mid wicket) or where a standard mid wicket would be. Lost count quickly of how many runs Australian batsmen scored in that area.

TWEET 6 @ 11:16 AM: Drinks bring taken because Dhoni needs a piss. Or has he been taking the piss as skipper?

15 minutes prior to the first drinks break was scheduled, Dhoni needed a trip to the loo. Umpires take the initiative to take drinks rather than waste time having someone else get pads on given you can’t use a 12th man to substitute as keeper. Just wanted to also use that pit stop to have a subtle dig at his methodology as captain.

TWEET 7 @ 11:33 AM: Yadav has just Poked the Bear, Scott Thompson style

By this time Mitchell Johnson has arrived at the crease (Haddin was caught behind after making his 50), and obviously with Rohit Sharma dropped, Umesh Yadav thought that he would be the one to push Mitch’s buttons by hitting him while he was batting (Rohit went for verbal). Instantly reminded me of the time Scott Thompson (North Melbourne full-back) decided to take on Barry Hall and the accompanying commentary.

 TWEET 8 @ 11:44 AM: When was the last time a batsman needed a replacement box?

Steve Smith cops it where nobody likes to get hit, and the protection that covers that area is rendered useless. Therefore this question is self-explanatory, and if anyone can come up with an answer it would be fantastic.

TWEET 9 @ 11:57 AM: Macauley (sic) Calkin drew up a better plan in Home Alone than Dhoni is planning here.

With Dhoni seemingly running out of clues to stop the flow of runs, the mind again wondered to the plans of one Kevin Macallister in Home Alone. To stop the “Wet Bandits” from invading his home whilst his family were in France, he drew up a plan complete with pain cans, irons, matchbox cars and his brother’s tarantula. Perhaps Dhoni could have tried something similar, for nothing he tried looked like working.

TWEET 10 @ 12:19 PM: If only Dhoni could match his standard of captaincy with his glove work

Dhoni gets his 5th dismissal of the innings completing an easy stumping of Johnson.

TWEET 11 @ 12:32 PM: India 5 overs down and miles behind after 4 sessions of the

The 5 overs down refers to the over rate which lagged behind again, although the quota of overs were eventually bowled just before the cut off date. Obviously despite Australia being 8 down the scoring rate was so great the home team had complete control of the game.

TWEET 12 @ 12:47 PM (via Instagram): Fancy some of those Milo cricket bowlers could do a better job than the Indian pacemen.

Part of the lunch time entertainment provided by the Milo cricketers was a little skill drill involving bowling at stumps from a shorter distance, with the run up and crease line marked with skipping ropes. They were about as accurate as some of India’s rubbish in the first session.

TWEET 13 @ 1:25 PM: The number 9 plays 1 cut shot and back goes point? Delilah moment….

Shortly after lunch Ryan Harris is on strike, and scored a 3 from a delicate square cut. Not realising Steve Smith is back on strike, and this is no excuse for the field placing, the point fielder is despatched to boundary riding duties. I was just asking the question why.

TWEET 14 @ 1:53 PM: The old Bay 13 livelier than this Indian tilt.

Suitably lubricated, the area of the old Bay 13 started to get rather lively with their usual antics, and it only got livelier. By the end of the day they were starting something about Banana’s, before in the late overs they tried to lift the Australian bowler’s by belting the chairs. Let’s be honest the MCG could do with some seat replacement, many of the seats probably have been changed as often as my mobile phone number.

TWEET 15 @ 2:10 PM: Call that leg bye ump….

This was a call directed by many to umpire Richard Kettleborough who initially denied Ryan Harris with a rare 50 by calling a neat leg glance moments earlier as 2 leg byes. Harris at least got to his 50 and Richard would get out of the MCG alive! Mind you I did tweet the night before that I felt sorry for Paul Reiffel who would officiate the Port Elizabeth Boxing Day test (South Africa 3/274 as I type, Day 2 delayed by rain and just about to start with our old mate Faf du Plessis unbeaten on 99 overnight,  picking up his hundred off the first ball of Day 2 and being dismissed on referral caught behind on Ball 2) with Billy Bowden. To me that’s as good an idea of fun as spending half the night on the loo.

TWEET 16 (after my battery started to run dry) @ 6:03 PM: Now comes the danger period for India, the cessation of play before a resumption tomorrow

After bowling Australia out for 530, the Indian batsmen, save for a sharp slips catch accounting for Dhawan, looked comfortable enough and wiped over 100 off the deficit. They should be able to consolidate on Day 3 but they’ve been in a position where they can at least get come control of the game before. I recall saying in Brisbane they should be able to set a decent target at the start of Day 4, only for the bottom of the boat to split. Surely they can get to 400+ on Day 3 and make Australia set a target ensuring they’d need to get aggressive to force a 3-0 result.

About Mick Jeffrey

32 Year Old, Bulldogs Member and tragic. Reserve Grade coach after over 225 combined senior/reserves appearances for Brothers AFC in AFL Capricornia. 11 time Marathon finisher, one time Ultra Marathon finisher and Comrades Marathon competitor 2017.

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