MCG sell-out – voice your concerns here

For those who haven’t heard the news (and to those who did hear, apologies about any repetition),  the MCG trust just announced that it entered into a multi-million dollar agreement with McDonald’s to rename, or ‘rebrand’, the MCG as the Mc’G. Well that’s how it will be pronounced anyway – the official spelling will apparently be McG to minimise the alteration.

This scandalous example of alphabet abuse was announced after the trust’s bi-monthly meeting last night, which finished in the early hours, so presumably there was dissension, and it might not be too late to get this decision reversed if we act fast.

Chairman, Bob Herbert, (laughingly) justified the change by labelling it a natural progression – “Business and sport are forming increasingly closer ties and the MCG is no exception. We shouldn’t be precious – it’s just a name. In any case it’s the people’s ground, and people love McDonald’s.”

He then went onto to claim the new spelling had a “modern look” and will be embraced by the smart phone generation. This is a slippery slope, my friends. Is nothing sacred?

Next we’ll have Parliament House being renamed Parliament Grouse or something! (Some might suggest that appropriate given politicians behave like drunks there anyway.)

AFL head honcho, Gillon McLachlan, distanced himself by saying MCG stands for Melbourne Cricket Ground and, in that way, its name had nothing to do with football. A total cop-out!

Then it got worse.

“Besides, we’ve had McDonald’s logos plastered all over the Sherrin, so we can hardly take the moral high ground. But,” he added, “if the MCG was called – and there’s some merit for this – the Melbourne Football Ground it would become the MFG and there’d be no issue.”

Talk about sitting on the fence and being impervious to the pickets.

A McDonald’s spokesman claimed it was a great deal that opened up unique marketing opportunities, touting such things as a tomato sauce laden hamburger called the ‘G-mac, complete with oval shaped buns and toothpicks as goalposts (spare me!), and, wait for it …the Great Southern Sundae …and, for the health conscious, the Punt Road Pasta Salad.

Cricket Australia called it a curly bouncer from left field, and worried about conflicts with their sponsor, KFC, but was still trying to digest the World T20 debacle and would deal with it later.

This can’t be happening – it’s economic rationalism gone even madder, if that level of insanity were at all possible. The state of disharmony I felt about technical umpiring was like mindfulness meditation compared to my mood right now.

But it isn’t done and dusted. If as many of us as possible vent our spleens by noon today (hence the hastiness of this post) at this commercialisation-gone-way-too-far we might yet prevent the name change.

While we’re at it, voice displeasure at the incessant ground announcements and demand their volume be turned down – or, at the very least, that the blaring music be turned OFF the second players enter the arena! Some respect, please.

The thin edge of the wedge can go both ways, comrades! Start realigning the wedge now by sharing this post and protesting against the outrageous corruption of capital letters and holy shrines.

About Paul Spinks

I have writing published and performed in various mediums, but usually not enough of it to pay the rent. Had many jobs, travelled a lot, so I think this experience allows a broad perception of society. I'm not an academic, though did complete a BA as a mature-age student. Below are links to some published written pieces. https://newmatilda.com/2017/07/30/its-time-for-our-baby-democracy-to-walk/ https://meanjin.com.au/blog/the-elephant-in-the-chamber/ https://overland.org.au/2017/11/australias-workplace-laws-a-narrative-tragedy/ https://newmatilda.com/2019/05/16/the-green-blind-spot-on-australias-expanding-population/ https://www.smh.com.au/sport/tennis/is-ashleigh-barty-the-saviour-australian-tennis-has-been-waiting-for-20200108-p53prl.html https://spinksytravelworld.com/pirate-of-padstow/ https://overland.org.au/2020/10/the-slow-death-of-a-public-institution/ https://overland.org.au/previous-issues/false-documents/fiction-paul-spinks/

Comments

  1. Very funny, april fool!

  2. Malcolm Ashwood says

    Great stuff Paul ( beware of Dustin Martin )

  3. Very clever and witty Paul. Next year we will be reading this on July 1, not April 1.

  4. Clothing company Dangerfield to enter agreement with Geelong to rename Kardinia Park to Dangerfield Park? Sexyland to buy the rights from Etihad for the newly named C*cklands Stadium?

  5. Paul Spinks says

    Some late news:
    MCG trust board member, Peter Costello, backed the name-change proposal based on the principle that if something could be sold it should be.
    Then he muttered something about generational change.

    Crash: I’ll be on the blower to the GFC pronto. The possibility for puns is beyond tolerable contemplation.

  6. Rabid Dog says

    Oh please Paul, don’t give them any more ideas! I can also see The Queen Adelaide riesling oval etc in the offing…

  7. Paul Spinks says

    Congratulations, Almanackers, you did it! Due to your public pressure the MCG trust buckled and the stadium remains capitally in-tact. But stay vigilant.

    What does noon mean, again? Is that when a point stops being laboured?
    Malcom and Peter, Thanks for your comments. I’m not clever enough to get your references yet, but the penny may finally tumble. Start of financial year? Does Dusty have marketing ambitions?
    I hope not, Rabid – though the truth is sometimes stranger than satirical almanac pieces

  8. The comment made by AFL:

    We changed the decision to keep the value of the Melbourne vs Carlton comedy festival at the Melbourne Cricket and Footy Ground. The stadium is called MCFG now!

    No more Macca Stadium!

  9. Paul Spinks says

    That’s right, Yoshi – we’ll have the last laugh!

  10. Phillip Dimitriadis says

    Funny stuff Paul,
    Although it wouldn’t surprise me if I get get asked to be a McMember in a few years.

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