In Praise of the Polo (Shirt that is)

Last week I was on the receiving end of the Crows 2014 membership blitz.

What carrot will they be dangling in front of me this year – a year’s supply of Navy, Red and Yellow frog cakes, a case of Woodies new tri-colour (Blueberry, Raspberry and Passionfruit) collection or the commemorative miniature Adelaide-Oval-River-Torrens wobbly footbridge?

No, even better, a members-only polo shirt, as long as I quote the magical code “T*x” when I check out the shopping cart.

How could I resist?

Another polo shirt to add to my hardly ever worn collection including these gems:

My first and last purchase from a primary school auction – various signatures from the 1998 Crows premiership team, including the coach’s, although this was obtained after I bought it – never worn.
Crows 98 photo DSC_0584_zps3fd9b490.jpg

This beauty was given to me by a work colleague who also bought it at a charity auction – never worn.
Crows 97 photo DSC_0585_zpsf37cc9f1.jpg

My mum bought me this – another CDFC premiership – never worn.
 photo DSC_0586_zpsc91961f0.jpg

This one has some meaning – the 2003 uniform top for the Ormond Netball Club (as designed by Wendy Frost, mother of Jack and Sam) – worn lots as a spectator but not for a while.
 photo DSC_0587_zps545e42e0.jpg

Finally, the team shirt of the much feared Buffalo’s (sic) Ten-Pin bowling combo, that wrought havoc at Chadstone Bowl during the first decade of this century – worn lots but not for a while.
 photo DSC_0588_zpsdc3a04ea.jpg

In fact, apart from the occasional appearance on the ABC at around 10:30am on a Sunday, does anyone ever willingly wear a polo shirt these days? Unlike band t-shirts purchased late in the 20th century (in my case The Wonderstuff or TPOH) that can be worn to bed indefinitely, the polo is a pretty useless article (and uncomfortable at night). I bet Arturo Vega didn’t receive too much in the way of royalties for his Ramones line of collared apparel.

But of course, I’ve set aside another coat-hanger as I keenly await my 2014 membership package. Next year I’m hoping they do the frog cakes.

About Mark 'Swish' Schwerdt

Saw my first SANFL game in 1967 - Dogs v Peckers. Have only ever seen the Dogs win 1 final in the flesh (1972 1st Semi) Mediocre forward pocket for the AUFC Blacks (1982-89) Life member - Ormond Netball Club -That's me on the right


  1. Malcolm Ashwood says

    Want a Ad Uni FC Polo Shirt Swish ?

  2. mickey randall says

    Swish- once upon a time I’d see plenty of chaps wearing pub social club polos, when pubs tried to offer a sense of ownership to the punters. Country pubs, pubs from down the Port. “The Colac 1992 social club” No more. Probably killed by the pokies too.

  3. Rabid Dog says

    Excellent Swish. I can EASILY find a home for any or all of your Centrals polos!
    As to who wears them, working at Sportsmed it’s a requirement (!), and I get to choose whether it’s the company logged one, or a Centrals polo, or something else. I even wore my old Sth Freo (white) polo to work today.

  4. Mark 'Swish' Schwerdt says

    ‘Book – does it have the Bob Neil/West End logo?

    Mickey – unless the Bentleigh RSL gives them out still, it seems that 3204’s supply is limited to the T20 alternate tops worn by the local teams, festooned with real estate logos.

    Thanks Rabs, the world of IT consulting “mandatorialised” the wearing of corporate polos and chinos (I might have even worn boat shoes) a few years back. Once I went out on my own, I always felt sorry for the folks that wore the official garb of their employer on casual dress days in lieu of their regular work gear.

    I once saw an Oracle conference polo hanging up in an Angaston op shop, dunno how it got there.

  5. The TPOH bed shirt isn’t the one with the two girls is it?

  6. Mark 'Swish' Schwerdt says

    Gus – no, it is the 1990 tour t-shirt – just the TPOH logo on front and tour dates on the back. Saw them at St George Leagues Club.

  7. Malcolm Ashwood says

    No Swish unfortunately

  8. One minor correction. As far as I recall, there was no premier in 1998. That shirt is an elaborate hoax. In fact, I’m pretty sure that’s just a made-up number.

  9. Swish, I saw them at Metropolis in Brisbane. I remember it is being a show where the band was having as much fun as the crowd. They appeared genuinely happy to be sharing the experience. Also remember the bass player bear hugging and lifting up the two girls and thinking ‘I’d like to do that’.

Leave a Comment