Hamstrings and Bedsprings – AFL Grand Final Haiku Kukai

Haiku poets around the globe were at it again during the 2014 AFL Grand Final. This annual celebration of footy and haiku is now into its 3rd year, when poets eschew cliché, hyperbole and other Cometti-isms, and fix their gaze on the game through a zoom haiku lens. The poets were scattered like the petals of a cherry blossom. Jen Jewel Brown called in from Sydney, Ian Gostelow was on the highway to Shepparton, Myron Lysenko was in the backyard at Woodend with his family and a dead chook, Timothy Train cut a grainy figure in the back corner of a beer garden somewhere, and Haiku Bob (Rob Scott) was hooked up intravenously to a coffee machine in a pub in Stockholm. Others from the UK, Croatia and Sweden just came to watch.

And, as usual, the results are astounding. Going right through Grand Final week, from the Brownlow Medal count to the Grand Final hangover, haiku poets provide a wrap of the week like few can. They don’t miss a bump,  a tackle, or cheap laugh! In total, there were 191 poems. More than the number of kicks, handpasses, marks and tackles the Swans had.  Yep folks, it was a slaughter.

 

Below is but a sample of the fun.

 

Join us next year. If you can stand the heat.

 

Rob Scott.

 

hamstrings and bedsprings
a flurry of airplanes
a packing of frocks

 

Jen Jewel Brown

 

 

Brownlow night –

my past misdemeanors

come back to haunt me

 

Rob Scott

 

 

training session
the players practise
goal celebrations

 

Myron Lysenko

 

 

Grand Final week –
someone in the stairwell
mentions Buddy

 

Rob Scott

 

 

Sydney’s back pages
who are these
other guys?

 

Jen Jewel Brown

 

 

September sky –
all eyes on the one under
the injury cloud

 

Rob Scott

 

 

Birds of two feathers
flock to Melbourne for the game –
together, apart.

 

Timothy Train

 

 

Two or three poets huddled
at back of the beer garden –
my grand final day

 

Timothy Train

 

 

Springtime rites
a change of plumage
Who’s your buddy now?

 

Derek Begg

 

 

Morning shadows
kick across
an empty ground

 

Lucy Stewart

 

 

spring dawn –
the MCG
taking shape

 

Rob Scott

 

 

countdown to a siren
when they can all forget
the terror they’re meant to feel

 

Nathan Curnow

 

 

temperature rising
two teams competing madly
to withstand the heat

 

Andrew Gigacz

 

 

my life story
to a complete stranger
Grand Final day

 

Rob Scott

 

 

the odds of ASIO
spying on our footy haiku:
TomWaterhouse.com

 

 

hot meat pie
all over my lap – its decided
in the midfield

 

Nathan Curnow

 

 

ball bounce
the roars rising
to the sky

 

Jayashree Maniyil

 

 

footy and haiku
it could only be
a Melbournian marriage

 

Ela Fornalska

 

 

huddle up fellas

bounce kick bounce tackle first blood

only result counts

 

Belinda Coates

 

 

our three year old
cheers on the bombers –
scattered clouds

 

Jade Pisani

 

 

petals fall
from the camellia
blood rule

 

Myron Lysenko

 

 

spring breeze –
the whiff
of an upset

 

Rob Scott

 

 

Adam Goodes
Australian of the Year
seeking buddy

 

Nathan Curnow

 

 

muscly legs-
which two teams are playing,
babe?

 

Jade Pisani

 

 

one-sided—
the haiku more exciting
than the game

 

Myron Lysenko

 

 

Gold and brown
hot like sun
scorching the swans

 

Elizabeth ‘Lish’ Škec

 

 

halftime
thundersnags
are go!

 

Paul Škec

 

haiku and footy
eyes dart
between screens

 

Ela Fornalska

 

 

a haiku frenzy
one sided game
flat battery

 

Ian Luke

 

 

Driving the highway
Grand final on the radio
a Hawk hovering above

 

Ian Gostelow

 

 

Champagne football
Too early yet
To pop the cork

 

Derek Begg

 

 

Shepparton sunshine
checking in to the hotel
as the swans check out

 

Ian Gostelow

 

 

Hawks
feasting on their prey—
the cat comes inside

 

Myron Lysenko

 

 

falling petals
not sure who’s
on who

 

Rob Scott

 

 

boring match –
I paint my toenails
hot pink

 

Jade Pisani

 

 

swandive
shoulda put a pony
on the hawks

 

Paul Škec

 

 

not a very
grand
final

 

Simon Exley

 

 

Hale’s head—
the bald patch
on our lawn

 

Myron Lysenko

 

 

at the pub
surrounded by old friends
Buddy gets a kiss

 

Rob Scott

 

 

Keeping’s off
final three minutes
Swans long flight home

 

Matthew Harris

 

 

roaring crowd—
the cat meows
for more food

 

Myron Lysenko

 

 

precise—
Roughhead’s
smooth kick

 

 

agile hawks swoop
on the slow swans
goal achieved

 

Bee Jay

 

 

 

final siren ~
all the shadows
fall into one

 

Rob Scott

 

 

The shrill pitch of fevered
joy a mere tone away from pain’s
Wretched yowl

 

Lucy Stewart

 

 

Hawthorn scarves
tied to a post in a back street
no stopping here

 

Ruby Hummingbird

 

 

Grand Final hangover
blood stains
from the hawk tattoo

 

Rob Scott

About rob scott

Rob Scott (aka Haiku Bob) is a peripatetic haiku poet who calls Victoria Park home. He writes haiku in between teaching whisky and drinking English, or something like that.

Comments

  1. Wonderful, wonderful stuff. What a mix … of words and images and sentiments and wit. They are all good but I’ve picked out these because they got in and under:

    Gold and brown
    hot like sun
    scorching the swans

    Elizabeth ‘Lish’ Škec

    hot meat pie
    all over my lap – its decided
    in the midfield

    Nathan Curnow

    petals fall
    from the camellia
    blood rule

    Myron Lysenko

    But they are all wonderful expressions of the heart of the matter.

    Cheers

  2. Agree Rick.
    Bucket loads of imagery.
    ‘Petals fall’ is masterful.

  3. ned_wilson says

    Well that is truly magnificent! Well done all.

    Those keen to delve deeper can check out the facebook page.

    https://www.facebook.com/events/362406670582731/

  4. Love HB. The last one is probably the best. But so many great images.

  5. DBalassone says

    This is great, just great! Have you been to Myron’s shop ‘The Red Wheelbarrow’ in Brunswick? Best bookshop in Melbourne. Picked up ‘The Book of Questions’ there last month after tip from friendly staff. And what a book!

  6. I was there a while back. 3 years? I did a haiku reading there one night. He’s one of my biggest fans!

    Thanks Damian.

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