Grand Final Week Headlines

Thanks to Getty Images

With four three possible Grand Final teams and a huge week ahead next week, I thought I’d help out the legion of AFL endorsed scribes with some possible headlines and stories, just in case.



Just Like 1997 – Only Better

Nothing Like 1997 – Here’s Why

Shane Ellen – Yeah, We’re Sick of Him Too

All Your Ballarat Caravan Park Information Here

We Rate the Bakeries Of The Dukes Highway So You Don’t Have To

Western Highway Toilet Stops (You Won’t Believe What We Saw Floating At Horsham)

Grand Pricks – A Guide To Victorian Drivers

Melbourne Hotels – We’ve Found The One That Has West End On Tap

Victorian Speed Trap Guide – Tell ‘Em You Know The Crouches If You Get Caught In Beaufort



They Laughed When Named Our Son Pettifer

Esso Service Stations Experiencing Fuel Shortages This Week

Tiges’ Secret Origami Sessions Revealed

Channel 7 Attempt To Play Roaming Brian In Forward Pocket Rebuffed

Exclusive Interview With Dusty’s Tattooist, Wow McFreckle

Uproar At Clash Strip/Grand Final Ticketing/Fan Police Checks Revelations

Grog Squad Aghast As Crows/Geelong Win Toss For Southwark/Furphy Beer Concession.



Dangerfield In Shock Skateboard Incident (9yo Moggs Creek lad falls over near his house)

Chris Scott Takes Aim at Coach-cam Intrusion. “I’m not always like that”, he claims.

Ling Hits Back At critics – “I’m not biased” he reports, from Geelong selection committee meeting.

Cats Ask For Brown Shorts In Response to Qualifying Final Performance

Roadworks On Princes Freeway and West Gate To Continue Through The Weekend.



Seven Seasons of Glory

Giants Fans In Melbourne Showground Ticketing Confusion

Aerial Ping Pong – 50 Reasons Why It Won’t Catch On?

Toby Greene Opens Penrith Kick-Boxing Tournament

About Mark 'Swish' Schwerdt

Saw my first SANFL game in 1967 - Dogs v Peckers. Have only ever seen the Dogs win 1 final in the flesh (1972 1st Semi) Mediocre forward pocket for the AUFC Blacks (1982-89) Life member - Ormond Netball Club -That's me on the right


  1. Excellent Swish.


    October in Pyongyang- Your Guide to the Best Nuclear Facilities Tours

  2. Peter warrington says

    Richmond – why Danny frawley says they can and can’t win

  3. I am getting nothing but Australian Rules news…. I only joined this for Rugby League
    If this continues with just AFL I will DEFINITELY close my account

  4. Dutton does Dusty/Libs sweep SA polls

  5. Mark 'Swish' Schwerdt says

    Thanks for those fellas

    Hey Bob, I think that was a headline from The Australian letters to the editor.

  6. Earl O'Neill says

    GWS – the Age meets their fan.

  7. Hey Bob MUNT, great idea leave some Rugby comments in AFL articles — great guerilla tactics!

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