Giddy-Up Gill



I have to put in a few words in support of Giddy-up Mac who will restore white Anglo-Saxon Protestantism to its rightful place in leadership of the major religion of Australia. Forget the Jesuits that currently occupy the treasury benches and draw scorn from the Order for their parlous performance – this bloke Gill has got the pedigree.


Our own boy JMoro would have done the job, as Rocket would have, but they went for the blue blood (not saying you blokes haven’t got it running through your veins) with the wider view of how to get the proletariat to stop whinging about the ticket prices, congestion and a stupid fixture schedule.


G.U. Gill has an innate understanding of the game, and the demand side, gained from amateur league and country footy. That’s a distinct plus but what got him over the line in the end was a simple one. He was a sheep shit entrepreneur. That’s what impressed the selection panel. When he was a kid enjoying the bucolic pleasures of the farm, Giddy-up didn’t get any pocket money so he and his brother flogged the contents of the ground floor of the family shearing shed at Mt Pleasant to the local horticultural sector.


Older and seasoned snouts at the Mount Pleasant Hotel where the budding entrepreneur did a bit of his poo-transacting can remember Giddy-up well. They have warm memories of the lad and his brother putting the hard word on their missuses as they sat in the vehicle waiting for their beloved providers and imbibers to return, return their missuses’ raspberry shandy glasses and bugger off home with a couple of long necks plus, of course the bag of merino what-not.


You have to hand it to Gill and his bro: it was a captive market.  He also directly contributed to the increase in horticultural output both nutritional and recreational in the Mt Pleasant area. Leading Adelaide economists have acknowledged this. I am not saying Gill and bro had any links to the burgeoning market in that area but there might have been a bit of leakage and that region has attracted a certain type of person with whom you could do business. Enough for ICAC to look at if it were in the public sector.


What will Gill bring to the game after the AD ran out of ideas several years ago? I know Giddy has the grass roots in mind after his rough and tumble upbringing. I understand he was a perfect gentleman in the chukkas.  I rang a couple of blokes in Adelaide with a St Peters upbringing and they confirmed his agenda. His main focus will be the tattoo’s tax. Ink is out at AFL House and if it continues to proliferate the club will pay. Collingwood and Richmond are concerned but cleanskins – well, relatively, like Swans (when Buddy is injured), Adelaide and nice teams with family values will be the real winners from Gill’s focus. Gill wants to uplift away from the drink and ink culture to one of more refined erudite values which should sit well with Carlton  but I fear, not be well understood by the Collingwood cheer squad even though they have long yearned for a more cultured form of abuse of umpires and the opposition but have lacked the means of production.


So Giddy-up will be focusing on a benevolent and enlightened approach that sits well with George Brandis’ focus on truly free expression. Gill’s peerless links to the Tory values should hold him in good stead there, just as long he doesn’t go out of the corporate box and into the melee and surging throng of punters who pay his wage. I can’t see him doing a meet and greet down Hoddle or Brunswick streets.


He should be all right in Adelaide but as the Crows are heading for their Port Adelaide moment, he will steer clear of them as he will only want to associate with winners. The FootyAlmanac should do an interview with him and see where he stands on pricing, the modern game, the four-beer limit, eskies for the Adelaide Oval mound, minimum likeability standards for commentators (Vale Eddie and BT), state of origin, and one team for Tasmania.


They say he is a good negotiator so if he is to get one team out of the norf and souf Tassies he will have earned the package.


All in all it’s a case of the AFL riding indirectly on the sheep’s back like to good old days.


Giddy-up Gill.




*(The name given to a school of blokes (and a way of thinking) who have never left the undergraduate halls of the agricultural economics department at the University of New England, yet now run the country, and should know better – Ed)





  1. Yes, i’m intrigued at what changes young Gillon can bring. Looking at his families political pedigree do we expect his reign will see an end to concepts such as the themes maches/rounds, like dreamtime @ the G. Let’s see what influence,Uncle Ian, who was one of the New Right warriors of the 80’s, has on young Gillon in this regard.


  2. Skip of Skipton says

    Might pay to see how he performs first, before unleashing the childish stereotyping and shit-hanging, Wank.

  3. The Wrap. says

    The Sqauttocracy lives. Long lived the Squattocracy. Wasn’t it his father, Ian McLachlan, as an independent director, who prevented Black Jack from privatising Fosters/IXL? This is indeed has all the prospects of being an interesting ride.

    He’d joined the wild bush horses — he was worth a thousand pound,

  4. I enjoyed it ‘Nank’. Very witty and clever.
    Dunno if there is any truth in the youthful wheeling and dealing yarn. Still I suspect that the ability to repackage horse shit and pretend it smells sweet so it can be resold at a significant markup, was one of the key selection criteria for the job.

  5. Malcolm Ashwood says

    Thanks Nanks ( go the Ad Uni FC Greys ) it will be interesting to see what a ex hackney high school lad brings to the table . I sincerely hope his grassroots amateur football involvement will result in a better connection and understanding of the average football follower and not the continual sole focus of the mighty dollar
    Thanks Nanks a enjoyable read

  6. Tom Martin says

    Very bloody funny!

  7. Nice work Nanks. Carn the Greys. Did you play at BKFC in the early 80s? I hope Gill’s strong amateur ties mean that he will give two hoots about the ridiculous approved player points system that threatens to consign the great truly amateur clubs like the Blacks to mediocrity. Forget the Riversides, Broadviews & Goody Saints: the APPS is the single greatest threat faced by our glorious footy club since its inception 108 years ago. Numbskulls.

  8. Gerry Both says

    Nice work Nank. Erudite and funny. I hadn’t thought of the Swans as clean skins but Buddy now emphasizes the difference between the Bloods culture and others. Like the Blacks of old, the Swans also have more refined approach to umpire ridicule, something that Collingwood and the Port crowd (both professional and amateur) would not identify with.

  9. Paul Nankivell says

    Daddsy, I played for Balmain tigers footy club in late 70s early 80s.Who is BKFC? We were the easy beats. They got some good players including a mcglynn from albury way and nearly beat eastern suburbs at redfern oval for the gf in about 78 or 9. In the pub after the Balmain boys certainly won the event against some of the eastern suburbs crew..A follow up missive about Balmain is in order. Like the time playing wests and the ump stopped game not because the players were going at it but the spectators led by a couple of gay garbos from botany council roy and belly and the fomer’s umbrella. More to come about one of the unique Sydney footy clubs.

    Gerry swans are smooth now like the AUFC blacks in the 69-73 era with hainsie and sandlands up forward. however buddy kicks a bit like rofey used to. all good

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