Finals Week 3 – Six (Talking) Points

The Clash*

Cut The Crap KB. Geez, give him enough rope, who introduced him to Twitter anyway? If you want to play the long game, think about how those yellow jumpers will stand out when the inevitable night Grand Final comes in. Now, just wait and see what shade of lime green the umps will be in. It will be an (umpire) Peter Carey’s wet dream. Or does he have a point, I say, remembering the original tone of this column?

Tickets Please

Considering that around half of a full MCG will always be occupied by MCC/AFL members, why the bleating? There’s never going to be enough seats for club members, yes, maybe there should be more but only at the margins. However, is there anything any more galling than neutrals who get a gig via their corporate connections, then gloat to the world with this sort of appallingly unaware piece of justification: “Blame the AFL for not providing tickets to members. Can’t help it if I’m part of the corporates”.

Chris Scott

Do you reckon he’ll be pleased to see Little Gaz back?


Have they hit the wall? Has the Lambo been driven into a ditch? Does the ‘J’ in Stevie J stand for the Jam Tin that he couldn’t kick over? (Can you still get jam in tins?). Or do they just need to get all of their blokes back on the park?


Nearly 40k there to see Sturt pip Port. The renaissance of state league footy in SA or did everyone just want to see Port Magpies flogged (even though their clubs may have voted them and the Crows ressies back in to the comp) ?

Your Tip

Will nineteen years of chronic underachievement triumph over thirty five years of sustained shitness? Who will be more insufferable if they win?


*My 1987 SA Amateur League Handbook reveals that thirty odd years ago it was possible to come up with a simple, effective and transparent way of arbitrating about whether there was a clash and what to do about it. The AFL are idiots.

About Mark 'Swish' Schwerdt

Saw my first SANFL game in 1967 - Dogs v Peckers. Have only ever seen the Dogs win 1 final in the flesh (1972 1st Semi) Mediocre forward pocket for the AUFC Blacks (1982-89) Life member - Ormond Netball Club -That's me on the right


  1. charlie brown says

    Yeah great crowd for the SANFL (or is that sanfull?) Grand Final,Swish.
    Can’t recall a more enjoyable grand final – well, yes I can, 1991.
    I confess I was one of the smug neutral supporters hoping that the Power reserves would trip over their very expensive boot laces.

  2. 1. There is a clash. Richmond should be in the away gear.

    2. AFL have created a monster with the ticket allocation. It is the club members and general fans who keep the game alive, not a suit who comes to a game once a year.

    3. Chris Scott will be pleased to have Gaz back, but they need a lot more than him to push for a flag.

    4. I think that they are still coming into their own. Once all the key players are back and some new recruits are in, they will get to the final dance. Maybe win it.

    5. Amazing crowd for the SANFL Grand Final! Pleased with the result too. Good old Scotty McMahon with another flag.

    6. I am tipping Adelaide to win by 30 points.

  3. 1. Hmmm, should someone who is gifted a home grand final in front of a (not as) partisan crowd, whine that the minor premiers get to wear their home strip? If they’re not willing to play in hessian sacks then they need to refresh themselves with Australian sporting idioms. Incidentally is it true that Athelstone are the ‘Raggies’ because they literally used to play in hessian sacks?

    2. I love the blind eye that is turned to Victorian privilege this time of year. SACA members should be given access to the MCC reserve this weekend to even things up a bit.

    3. He’ll look good sitting in the coach’s box with the other injured senior players.

    4. Stevie J was a terrible, if amusing, mistake. Think GWS forgot that the entire second half was junk time last week. Other than that GWS will be just fine with a few tweaks.

    5. More the latter than the former. SANFL will continue its slow decline but the Grand Final still has an appeal that the other state leagues lack.

    6. If the Crows lose I’m not sure when twitter will be a safe place again… haha, like it ever was. All those Richmond people will be insufferably lovely when all you really want from them is ‘sucked in’

  4. Greek-Camden? Let ’em marry if they want.
    C.B.C.O.C? Playing home games at Yatala since the Royal Commission.
    Hope Valley? Crows training ground.
    S.A.I.T? Tiger army chant.
    Rose water? Favourite tipple.
    Gaza? Will the prodigal return to his home club after his Stevie J turn back at K.P?
    Adelaide University 1911? Last flag or when Rulebook joined the club?

  5. 1. I really do not get the fuss about jumper clash. I have umpired many basketball games with shades of red/green/blue and there is no great problem, just concentrate.

    2.-4. Not greatly bothered.

    5. Have become a little tired of the constant whining from Unley and elsewhere regarding Port Adelaide and Froot Loops in the SANFL. A few points. Port Adelaide have been there since before SANFL existed and many clubs have done very well out of home games against us. When the deal to admit the PA and FL reserves teams into the league was done, the FL promised 4,000, lucky to get 40. The Unley “faithful” seem pleased to have accepted Kirkwood (MM) and Beard into their fold. These were quality, hard, mature footballers who had to leave PA due to the New Deal. PA regularly have to play with 3 ruckmen in the side – due to selection rules – who else does this? Many of the PA squad are skinny youths who could hide behind the goal posts; they are playing for the most part against mature men with hard bodies and several seasons behind them. The whole comp is not as unbalanced as many whingers claim, PA vFL GF anybody?

    6. Living in Adelaide I can assure you that either a win or loss will easily carry the Insufferability Title. Tahiti looks good this time of year!

  6. What a great means the SAAFL had of deciding who keeps their home guernsey: the club that came into the league earlier (e.g. 1911) gets to keep their togs. However the copied page from the SAAFL program did not explain on what basis the guernseys were judged to have clashed. I suspect they were pretty much identical and hence an obvious clash (e.g. Glenelg and Richmond and Essendon and West Adelaide). Frankly, the Richmond yellow sash and the Adelaide coloured hoops are sufficiently different that you’d have to be blind Freddie to not tell them apart. The true fans will have no problem. Hey that solves the other issue. Only let true fans that can tell them apart, not neutrals ones into the G. Give them a blind freddie test prior to putting their bar-codes up!

  7. Phillip Dimitriadis says

    Nice pot stirring Swisher.
    What clash? I’m with KB. White shorts = problem solved

    Great that SANFL GF got over 40k , 26k more than a GWS final in the so-called AFL. Message there?

    Gazza’s shoulders are shot. Possible success as a small forward badly needed by Catters. Nice feel good story of the return of the prodigal son. Could turn out to be a biblical failure.

    Richmond will definitely be more insufferable and that’s why I want them to win. However, Crows a bit more even so I tip them by 23 points.

  8. 1 The clash guernseys side of things is generally re following a recommendation from umpires and as a maggot is vital it is impossible to umpire if there is a serious clash ( yes this one is debatable ) but yes of course Richmond should be in the away jumper the way KB has carried on has made KG and Rowey look impartial.
    2 A farce re MCC and Afl members and with the exhorbitant money in the game the corporate world is desperately needed
    3 Wait and see re that 1
    4 GWS no still young overall and it was about time,Brett Deledio stood up and contributed for the tigers in a final
    5 Great crowd mind you plenty of tickets around if you were looking a bit false in reality and doesn’t excuse that a national res comp is desperately needed and incompetent that there isn’t one already
    6 Richmond by 18 pts ( following plenty of requests not to tip the Crows but after the farce re yest
    I readily admit I have lost interest
    7 Would be good for sa

  9. Home jumpers: Away jumpers, WTF !?! Seriously i can’t see a clash with Adelaide & Richmond. I recall watching the replay of the Richmond v Essendon clash back in R 3, 1972. In those days we only had B&W television but as a kid i had no difficulty recognising Richmond in the black shorts, Essendon in the white shorts.

    Like Phil, to me the solution is simple, one teams has white shorts, one black. That would make total sense if the only issue was the football, but no it’s more that that. Marketing of home strips, away strips,is just part of the increased commodification of the sporting/entertainment industry.


  10. 1. Clash strips = merch revenue, full stop. I don’t like to see any of the old clubs play in a hastily thrown-together, changes-every-year, voted-by-the-members nonsense. But I am not buying into any of KB’s bullshit either. We’ll play in whatever. The clash strip we have arrived at is excellent.

    2. Its a vale of tears every year. I would be happy for the GF to move about; but you can bet the AFL will make up the lost revenue somewhere.

    3. I agree with DB

    4. Johnson was a hilarious mistake, Lids a heartbreaking one. For mine they are very soft up front. Big boys with no ticker. They’ll get there.

    5. It looks to me like the Swish double: Sturt and Crows.

    6. Crows by 24 pts

  11. Mark 'Swish' Schwerdt says

    Thanks for all of your responses, good points well made all round. (ps 4boat – Sonny Morey didn’t play for Sturt)

  12. There are no SANFL agnostics when Port is playing

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