Cricket: Killed by the ICC, with the dagger, in the cellar

I’ve been pruning the mock orange. It requires a lot of stretching upwards. My calf muscles are complaining bitterly after an hour or so. Time to sit on the couch for a while and watch the cricket.


“Phffftttt”, the top comes off a stubby. It’s a Byron Bay Pale Lager. Bit sweet for me, but likeable enough. A bloke brought a six-pack over to our house after I helped him home following a fall he had on the street. He ended up with stitches in his head, bruised ribs and skinned knees. But that’s a story for another day.


The Aussies are four for not many. It’s the first game of cricket I have sat and watched since last summer. That disturbs me somewhat. That and the fact that I haven’t really missed it.


Mitch Marsh looks calm at the crease; like Tom Hawkins looks calm at full forward. Calmness is underrated. A cool head in a crisis has won more battles than bullets. Marsh leans on his bat like a bloke who’s played 50 Tests. He’s got a good eye and a reasonable technique, though most young batsmen today seem to have no regard for the gap between bat and pad. Ian Chappell hates it.


Marsh and Bailey tick the board over whilst a gliding Morne Morkel tries to kill their strokes with deadly pace. He and Steyn would be handful for anyone, even the great IVA Richards and Gordon Greenidge would be jumping about I reckon. Aggression, accuracy, and surprising bounce are the natural enemies of any batsman. Steyn and Morkel know how to exploit these to perfection.


Bailey and Marsh get to about 90. The rescue mission is looking plausible. Then Georgie boy tries a cross bat swipe that ends up at mid-on. Poor shot. He’s caught. It’s an infuriating example of what’s wrong with Aussie cricket; do the hard yards against the top shelf hurlers, then toss your wicket away to the trundler. Lack of application or too many zeros in the bank account? The Aussies are 5 down for fewer than 100 with 28 overs already bowled.


Frances is wondering around the house, paying no attention to the cricket match unfolding.


“Why don’t you like cricket anymore?” I ask. She used to like it. She was once quite happy to sit and watch a good 50 over game, or a tough 5 day Test battle. Not anymore. One thing I’ll say about Frances, if she gets asked a question she will normally answer it.


“I don’t like the games” she said, “They’re meaningless. I don’t like the people involved in our team, I don’t like many of the players, I don’t KNOW many of the players, I don’t like the commentary, I don’t like the Big Bash crap, I don’t like the noise and the hype and the music, I don’t like the coverage, I don’t like the silly coloured uniforms, and the numbers on their backs, and the arrogance and cockiness of the Aussie team. I just don’t like it.”


Fair summary I thought.


An hour or so later I was driving to Kensington to pick up Liam from a mate’s place. Liam and his school friends had been filming a video for their forensic science class. They had to set up a fake crime scene then explain how and why they gathered their forensic evidence.


How’d it go?” I asked when he got in the car.


“Good.” He said. That’s actually a long answer for a 15-year-old boy.


“What sort of crime scene did you mock-up?” I asked.


“A murder.” He replied.


A two-word answer, I thought. Things were improving.


“Then you had to show the evidence – is that how it worked? Blood, saliva, skin fragments……..?”


“Hmm” he said.


“I’ve got the perfect scenario.” I said trying to get some traction in the conversation.


“What?” he enquired.


“You could have the carcass of cricket lying on the ground and the ICC and ACB hovering over it.”


“You’re weird.” He said.


Australia lost the game but I didn’t bother watching the end.

About Damian O'Donnell

I'm passionate about breathing. And you should always chase your passions. If I read one more thing about what defines leadership I think I'll go crazy. Go Cats.


  1. Andrew Starkie says

    Dips, I recall your words from last year: ‘Cricket is disappearing up its own bum’.

    Cricket has a unique set of challenges: 3 forms of the sport at international level; scheduling; lack of sincerity; overkill; Glen Maxwell playing Tests; etc….

    ICC and national governing bodies haven’t come to terms with the changes and evolution and fans and media are cynical.

    Just for starters.

  2. You wanna hear something lease Dips? I picked up The Deccan Chronicle the other day. The headlines asked ‘Have we reached peak cricket?’. You’re not on your pat malone Mate.

    Is It going to be a longer & darker Summer than usual? Anthony Abbott would say no, but the climate is definitely changing. Better stick with the mock jasmine. Old Son.

  3. That should read ‘You wanna hear something else’ of ours Dips. Damn auto correct.

  4. Wrapster – maybe its just me? Getting grumpy (grumpier?). Maybe this “new” cricket is for the next generation? However I don’t see my own kids glued to the TV watching it, or getting themselves along to the MCG to watch it.

    However, the Ashes will get the juices flowing again. It’s a cricketing battle that survives like a snow flake in hell.

  5. The way we’re going Dips, the Pohms are the only team we’re likely to beat.

  6. Hi Dips

    Frances’ summary said it all.

    Another very enjoyable piece and not just because you got a dad joke in there.


  7. RK – cheers old mate.

    Dad jokes are very sad things really.

  8. G’day Dips,
    I’m with Frances there. Spot on.
    I only follow Test cricket nowadays. That’ll do.

    And can anyone explain the rise of forensic science?
    As an elective, it went gangbusters with the Year 8s & 9s when I last taught science (2008).

  9. Dips
    I am going to the G on Friday with some mates to see the Aus v SA ODI.
    Ah, international cricket is back at the G at last, I thought.
    Then someone reminded me: there has already been a T20 played at the G
    a couple of weeks ago! It had slipped my mind. Who won?
    I like AB’s comment that maybe T20’s should just be played every 2 years
    in a World Cup-type tournament.
    I also like Frances’ comments!

  10. Luke Reynolds says

    Context of the games is the biggest issue. The Ashes & the World Cup really mean something. The Frank Worrell trophy used to until the seemingly terminal decline of the Windies. Making every match and series mean something is the biggest challenge facing the sport.

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