Almanac Travel: Dodgy haircuts and arrival in Chicago

 

This is an excerpt from US travels in 2017. Stage 5 of this journey to Montreal was a few days in Chicago, having taken the train from Minneapolis…

 

We have seen people from the Amish community both on the train and in West Glacier. My only understanding of the Amish comes from the Peter Weir film Witness. Having said that, I’m going to claim that I have enough knowledge to make a judgement call on something that is clearly a belief handed down over the centuries, that being their haircuts.

 

If you’re a child of the 60s I’m sure you can relate to the day your parents dragged you into a barber and gave you a “number one” all over or in Lynda and her poor sister’s case, had the cuts done at home.

 

I have a photo in the shed at home of me and my younger brother Glen wearing the same black footy shorts and psychedelic polo top standing barefoot in front of a beaming Mum and Dad on our front yard. All three males have crew cuts and Glen and I have an expression of hatred so powerful that says, “If we just kick him in the groin and run, he can’t catch us.” God we despised our Dad for that.

 

The Amish are very distinctive in their efforts to avoid looking distinctive. The girls and women wear singular coloured plain dresses and headwear similar to a large handkerchief. The boys and men wear business slacks, and singular coloured plain shirts with black vests. The kids look happy, healthy and unaffected.

 

I’m sure there’s something in pure old fashioned living with no technology and a deep love of the simple things so please don’t think I’m being disrespectful.

 

The Amish male hair is the classic bowl cut. There is no thinning or tapering of the hair. The scissors go in one direction only, east-west. These kids have fringes you could slice bread with.

 

I’m tipping the Amish don’t have mirrors in their communities and I imagined ME as this little boy on the train going to the bathroom, seeing his haircut for the first time and returning to his seat.

 

Me– “Oh Father?”

 

Father – “Yes my son.”

 

Me – “You’re kidding aren’t ya?”

 

Father – “I beg your pardon my son?! Why the petulant tone?”

 

Me – “It sort of came to me Father when I saw this abomination of a haircut in what they call a mirror!”

 

Father – “It’s a traditional Amish design passed down from our fore-fathers, son.”

 

Me – “Fair dinkum? Did any of our forefathers ever get on a 9-hour train trip and see what the rest of the world is wearing on their heads? I’ll wear the slacks, the shirt, and the vest but if you don’t let me go to a hairdresser in Chicago I will burn your barn down as soon as we get home…clear?”

 

Father – “Fair enough.”

 

The sad irony of that little dark fantasy is that I actually burnt down the family shed playing with matches when I was about 4 years old. My Dad would have killed me if my Mum hadn’t have stood between him and me. It’s one of my earliest childhood memories.

 

The train trip through Wisconsin to Chicago was delightful. There were many picture-perfect towns, quite small but attached to corn farms that went as long as the eye could see. One thing that I’ve noticed in Minneapolis and right the way through the countryside today is the absence of fences between houses. I can only deduce that it could be one of two things. Either there is an enormous feeling of community spirit and cooperation or they all hate each other and neither party can agree on paying for half a fence. I’m sure it’s the former. One thing’s for sure, they must have really well-trained dogs.

 

Getting closer to Chicago the first thing you notice in the distance is the Willis Building (formerly Sears Tower) which for a long time was the world’s biggest building. The Burj Khalifa in Dubai has now taken that title. The Grand Union Station was everything we imagined, seriously ornate and rich with history. We grabbed a cab to our new place which again is in the suburbs about 15 mins from the CBD. It’s another cracking property and the host is lovely. It’s a 10-minute walk to a big Filipino supermarket that also has a restaurant on the premises which we took full advantage of. The train station is a 10 min walk also with a direct 15 min ride to the CBD so all is set for tomorrow.

 

 

 

More from Ian Wilson can be read Here.

 

 

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