Almanac Teams: Vocations & Occupations

“Where your talents and the needs of the world cross; there lies your vocation.” Aristotle.


Tinsmith, carriage builder, bridle maker. These trades and more were on display recently at the Lost Trades Fair in Kyneton. Cooper, luthier, coppersmith. It all got me to thinking about the origins and evolution of Anglo-Celt (in particular) surnames. And the surprising number who have played footy at AFL/VFL level.


So, with the indulgence of Lord Bogan and the Almanac, I present to you a team of vocations and occupations.



Ian Cooper (Coll, 72-82), Peter Steward (NM, 62-70), Adrian Fletcher (Gee/StK/Bris/Freo, 89-01).



Sam Butler (WCE, 04-17), Ian Miller (Fitz, 74-77), Troy Cook (Syd/Freo, 97-07).



Michael Turner (Gee, 74-88), Ray Usher (Melb, 28-33), Lachie Hunter (WB, 13-18).



Ken Judge (Haw/Bris, 83-88), Ross Brewer (Melb/Coll/Rich, 72-83), Xavier Tanner (NM, 76-85).



Bob Shepherd (Fitz, 75-77), Phil Baker (NM/Gee, 71-79), Denis Marshall (Gee, 64-68).



John Ironmonger (Syd/Fitz, 85-91), Josh Caddy (GC/Gee/Rich, 11-18), Harry Collier (Coll, 26-40).



Mark Porter (Carl/NM, 97-04), Brett Chandler (Fitz/NM, 95-00), Brian Falconer (Haw, 65-70),

Fred Carpenter (SM/NM, 10-20), Ted Potter (Coll, 63-72), Wally Shearer (Foot, 41-42).



Graham “Polly” Farmer (Gee, 73-75).


Team Manager:

Wayne Foreman (Foots/Ess, 77-81).



Wally Warden (Foot, 28-30), Stephen Officer (SM, 71-75).



Geoff Driver (StK/SM, 45-47).


With apologies to players such as Harry Taylor (spelling not quite correct), Dean Cox (more a sporting position than an occupation), and Cale Hooker (no comment).


About Darren Dawson

Always North.


  1. Mathilde de Hauteclocque says

    Oh superb Smokie!
    My God, these just get better and better.

    A book of Almanac Teams … I sniff a great stocking filler in the making.

  2. Nnnoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo !!!!! Smokie you’ve stolen my thunder, i am/was half way through my team of workers.

    You’ve done a top job to include the ancillary staff as well.

    Oh well, back to the drawing board for me .


  3. bob.speechley says

    John COLEMAN?

    Under the radar I expect!

  4. Merci, Mathilde!

    Sorry for stealing your thunder Glen!

    Nice get, Bob. I reckon we could squeeze him in!

  5. Rabid Dog says

    John Butcher (Power). Glen Archer (Roos).

  6. Smoke – love it.

    You left out Selwood – timber salesman.

  7. Smokie, would Wayde Skipper be the on field leader?


  8. Phillip Dimitriadis says

    Brilliant work Smokie. No Glenn Archer? I’m sure that used to be a vocation in the Robin Hood era !
    Some more Shinboners..ahem:
    Darren Crocker
    Charles Skinner
    Frank Jeeves (Butler)

  9. OK I give in….what was a crocker? (besides a sports physio who was very bad at his job)?

  10. Some Eagles suggestions. Beau Waters, Brent Staker, Chris and Jake Waterman are clearly a gardening enterprise. Ken Judge worked out of Callum Chambers. Travis (and Darren) Gaspar are tobacconists (should get the Smokie nod). Glassie works in bars and pubs.
    Nice work Darren.

  11. Dave Nadel says

    Perhaps Jeremy Guard (Fitzroy 1992-5) could help with the security. There was a player from Geelong at the beginning of last century named Les Bailiff. I would imagine he would be quite good at clearances. There were also a couple of Joiners, John from North in the 50s and William from Hawthorn in the 60s. Perhaps they could work with Carpenter who you already have on the bench. Doug Priest (South Melbourne, 66-9), Robert Monk (Melbourne 1907-14) and Port Adelaide Premiership player Matthew Bishop could provide spiritual advice to the team. Unfortunately we cannot cater to multiculturalism as there no footballers named Rabbi or Imam.

  12. Jack Dyer would add some colour to the team. So would predators Ken Hunter and Laurie Fowler (just ask big John).

    Cheers, Burkie

  13. Dave Brown says

    Great topic – all of the Smiths qualify, of course. Rod Carter perhaps and Mason Cox is a profession and a sporting position. Liberatore means liberator so that could be a reasonable profession, too.

  14. Mark 'Swish' Schwerdt says

    Rudi Mandemaker

  15. Mark Branagan says

    Sam Fisher (St Kilda); Freddy Goldsmith (SM)

    President? Geoff Lord (Hawthorn)

  16. The Lost Trades Faire in Kyneton ?!?

    We went in 2017 but the traffic was everywhere, with a queue winding well out on to the adjacent road(s). We gave up, spent our time exploring Kyneton. The farmers market was on that day.

    To cut a long story short, is there a spot Roger Dean ? Dean as in educational position.

    I need not mention Russel Cook or Freddy Cook.


  17. Jacob Surjan (Port Adelaide 2004-2012) could be the Club Doctor and could also operate on serious injuries. He could be assisted by Harold Traynor (South Melbourne 1939-1942), who will help assess the nature of the injuries.

    I know Wayde Skipper has been mentioned by others but I would put Wayde Skipper in the side itself to captain the team.

    For entertainment, the best I could come up with is Damian Drum (Geelong 1982-1989 and his surname is close enough to Drummer) and you could argue that as Drum is now a Politician, that Politics represents its own fair share of Drama (also spelt similarly to Drum) and theatre.

  18. Anonymous says

    As today is Labour Day in Victoria, I thought it would be appropriate to present an equivalent World 11 Test Cricket Team of Vocations and Occupations:

    1. Alastair Cook
    2. Mark Taylor
    3. Mark Butcher
    4. Craig Serjeant
    5. Barry Shepherd
    6. Seymour Nurse
    7. Keith Miller
    8. Jos Butler
    9. Malcolm Marshall
    10. Ian Bishop
    11, Bert Ironmonger
    12th man Ronald Pope, who played 1 Test for Australia in 1885.

    Lloyd Pope from South Australia and the Sydney Sixers missed out as only one surname is allowed for this team, but he was ineligible anyway because he is yet to play Test cricket.

    Apologies to Peter Taylor as well because of the only one surname criteria but he would have missed out to Bert Ironmonger anyway, as the specialist spinner in the team. Peter who?

    Apologies to Alan Turner, who missed out on the Test opening position to Mark Taylor. We’ll never know now if Turner would have turned the game in his team’s favour.

    Max Walker missed out as it’s really a line walker or a dog walker as a job. Also, Bishop and Marshall would have beaten him anyway as a special pace bowler.

    Of course, some surnames are spelt differently to their occupations but sound the same like, Serjeant (Sergeant), Taylor (Tailor) and Marshall (Marshal).

    Alastair Cook and Mark Taylor will Cocaptain the team and Craig Serjeant will be the vice captain.

    As well as their onfield roles, Cook will also be the team’s Chef, He will be assisted by Butcher, in the cutting up of the meat and lamb. It’s a shame that lamb *Alan Lamb”, is not a vocation. If there is a meat shortage, Shepherd will help out and will get outside assistance from Roger Woolley. (although Woolley is not an occupation). Lamb Butchered Reid in the final over of a one day game in 1987 for England against Australia. “Lamb Butchered Reid” reminds me of a famous English radio commentator who around the same time mentioned on the radio, “Bowler’s Holding Batsman’s Willey!”

    Taylor will also be in charge of the team’s uniforms, making sure they fit.

    Serjeant, together with Marshall, will make sure the team stays in line.

    Nurse will assist the team’s doctor with any medical conditions from the players.

    Butler will give the team great service.

    Bishop will be in charge of the team’s games outside cricket, particularly chess. He will also be in charge of any Netflix shows that the team wants to watch, especially “The Queen’s Gambit”. Let’s hope that Bishop makes all the right moves on the field too.

    Pope will be idolised and worshipped by the rest of the team and will lead any religious services required by the team in his Sistine Chapel (Ian, Greg and Trevor Chappell). He will be assisted by Bishop in these religious services.

    Although his surname is not a vocation, Bruce Reid (Read) will provide any books or information the team requires. At the MCG, Bruce Reid will volunteer in the MCC library.

    Although his surname is not a vocation, Nathan Lyon (Lion tamer) will provide advice to Bert Ironmonger in particular, regarding how to tame to opposition’s best players of spin.

    If this Word 11 Test Cricket Team can beat its opposition, it will be a JOB well done.

  19. Good job anonymous.

    If you picked an occupational second XI you could include chaps like Peter Taylor, Alan Turner, Max Walker. In this time of ‘labour market flexibility’ who better as captain than Nari Contractor.

    Would you not include Seymour Nurse’s colleague Roland Butcher in the first team? You could then have the family firm of Alan and Mark Butcher together in the second XI.


  20. Anonymous says

    Glen, I have now made 2 different teams to accommodate some of your requests.

    The 1st team is an Australian 11 Cricket team of Vocations & Occupations::

    1. Mark Taylor
    2. Alan Turner
    3. Craig Serjeant
    4. Barry Shepherd
    5. Michael Taylor (Vic, Tas, Rebel Tour of Sth Africa 1985)
    6. Ashton Turner
    7. Keith Miller
    8. Peter Taylor
    9. Colin Miller
    10. Max Walker
    11. Bert Ironmonger
    12th man: Ronald Pope (1 Test for Australia in 1885)
    13th man: Lloyd Pope

    For both of these teams, the same surname can be used more than once, if the selected players were better than other possibilities. Also, there was no requirement for every player to have played Test cricket for the Australian team.. First class cricket or the Big Bash would have been enough.

    The 2nd team is a Rest of The World Test Cricket 11 of Vocations & Occupations:

    1. Nari Contractor (31 Tests for India 1955-62, Test batting average 31.58)
    2. Alastair Cook
    3. Mark Butcher
    4. Vijay Merchant (10 Tests for India 1933-51, Test batting average 47.72)
    5. Jos Butler
    6. Seymour Nurse
    7. Geoff Miller
    8. Bob Taylor
    9. Malcolm Marshall
    10. Ian Bishop
    11. Ian Butler (8 Tests for New Zealand 2002-04)
    12th man: Ronald Butcher (3 Tests for England 1980-81)
    13th man: Alan Butcher (1 Test for England 1979)

    Please note that 2 William BARBERS did not make the CUT. There were actually 2 William Barbers.

    William Douglas Barber (17 October 1881 – 26 April 1971) was an English cricketer who played for Nottinghamshire. His 1st class debut came in 1904, against Lancashire. Barber scored 7 runs in the only innings in which he batted in the match.

    William Langan Frederick Barber (25 November 1919 – 26 November 1989) was an English first-class cricketer.
    He played one first-class cricket match for the Combined Services Cricket Team against Surrey at The Oval in 1936, He was dismissed twice cheaply by Jim Laker. Barber was the team wicket-keeper.

    Both BARBERS would not have made the CUT anyway as they did not play Test cricket.

    The match between the Australian 11 Team of Vocations & Occupations and The Rest Of The World Test 11 Team of Vocations & Occupations will be played at Lords, The Home of Cricket. BISHOP and The POPES will be home at LORDS, as will the English Test cricketers that were named.

    The match will be televised live and free on channel 7, provided negotiations between Cricket Australia and Channel 7 WORK out. Merchant (Vijay) will help with the negotiations.

    Entertainment will be provided by The Australian band, Men At Work, as well as the songs “Working Class Man”, by Jimmy Barnes, “We Can Work It Out”, by The Beatles and “Working 9 to 5”, by Dolly Parton.

    Let’s hope for a good game of cricket and that everything WORKS out well.

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