Almanac (Swimming) Poetry: Old blokes in black budgie smugglers
We reprise Campbell’s poem he recited at the Poets’ Lunch on Friday 13 June 2025. The poem was first published on the Footy Almanac site in 2021,
Old blokes in black budgie smugglers
An Iso Morning at Kardinia Pool
Swimmers gather outside the gate
All shapes and sizes united in Speedos
Some chat, some ponder, some are still in bed
The early sun struggles to reach their souls
The barrier drops and names are checked
Cheery types swipe cards and encourage
Embathered bodies emerge, some athletic, some not
Old blokes in black budgie smugglers abound
Laps only, no frolicking, find your place
Slow, Medium, Fast or Squad
Egos surrender to reality
The water beckons with a slightly wicked grin
The frailties of our lives are washed away
Fifty metres at a time
There is a beginning and an end
The journey feels good
Changerooms and hot happy showers
Self-congratulatory banter amongst mates
Quiet contentment for the sole traders
The prospect of coffee unsaid but potent
On the street the sun beams congratulations
Campbell Bairstow
Campbell at the Poets’ Lunch chatting with Helen Fithall and Meryl Ritchie
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About Campbell Bairstow
Great to have you on the Almanac site Campbell.
Such a familiar scene, beautifully depicted. Nothing like a few laps to consider the state of being.
As a fellow early morning swimmer you set the scene so well Campbell! I swam the Kardinia pool many times while the Colac pool was being renovated a few years back and especially enjoyed swimming in a 50m pool over a 25m one.
Nice one Campbell. I’m an old bloke in blue speedos. Never been a good swimmer. I plough rather than fly. I’ve always admired how easy good swimmers make it look.
Having said that, after the laps have ticked away there is always a good feeling of achievement when old bones are dragged out of the water.
Thanks Colin and Dips. It’s good to hear from fellow lappers. It was a strange winter swimming at Kardinia in the shade of the stands but not watching a single game inside KP. Keep swimming! Campbell
Embathered bodies? Embattled? Embarrassed? Embathed?
Good point, Matt. That was my invention for the moment – think poetic licence….
Your alternatives also work well.
Cheers Campbell
Great work Campbell. My speedos be navy blue, I used to do laps at Victoria Park, below Sydney Uni, always in the fast lane and I could overtake everyone w breastroke – at 12, had lessons from a former Comm Games coach.
There were always big blokes who did a lot of splashing, a waste of energy. Be smooth, go fast.
Didn’t realize black budgies were a thing until last Friday. Mine are blue as well. Will change to black when my blue ones wear out. Good poem. On the street the sun beams congratulations. That’s how it feels alright.
Great work, Campbell, conjuring up images of my “local”, the Terry Tyzack Centre in Inglewood in Perth’s inner north.
I’ve long been a hopeless swimmer, with a threshing machine style that’s a great danger to my fellow swimmers, so I really wish there was an “ultra slow” lane at Terry Tyzack.
And it’s board shorts all the way for me.