Almanac Soccer – NPL Round 2: South Overcome their Dreaded Bogey Away Day

Memoir of The Geezer


A new spin to be taken on the weekly articles as I shall pick out the most interesting picture with hilarious and nostalgic narration imbedded in the caption through the Instagram account: @trekaurtista95.


Enjoy the throwbacks for any English ex-pats out there and those who take an interest in English culture and dialogue.



[Source: @nicholasgpriest]


Full-time. Bollocking out the way. Time to take the nets down. ‘Defenders and ‘keeper get one, midfielders and strikers the other.’ Cba. You don’t pay your subs for this shit. You’re not having it. Instead of walking towards the goal you’ve been allocated, you head for a corner flag. Sly.


At first the others don’t notice. So whilst they’re struggling with the duck-taped net securely fastened to the crossbar you slyly walk past, corner flag in hand. ‘Help us out lad.’ One finally shouts as you head towards the opposite corner. ‘Nah I’ve done my bit Dave.’ Two corner flags and that’s you. Job done. You get called a lazy bastard, but you don’t care. It’s a job that needs doing. And you’ll do the exact same again next week until someone with half a brain cell clocks on. Easy does it.




Photo of the Day


The next tidbit of content will be selecting one photo per week from the account Well Offside as featured on Instagram. Featuring some of the legendary English football photographers including Mark Leech, Gerry Cranham and Stuart Atkins.



Born OTD 1971, Andy Cole.
Pictured here scoring for Manchester United against Manchester City in 1995.


[Source: Mark Leech]




NPL Round 2 Recap: South Overcome their Dreaded Bogey Away Day


Friday night football across from Moorabbin Airport. South have probably only won a single game in the last 15 attempts at Bentleigh Green’s venue. Morale was high however as they triumphed over their nemesis from the north last week.


I’d looked forward to just handing over a tenner in return for the famous lamb souvlaki the Greens have always dished out. Followed with the high expectations after the likes of Michael Zappone and the rest of the former Fox Sports commentators wouldn’t shut up about each time they covered an FFA Cup game there.


It was roughly three years ago that I’d last had one; I used to scoff them down many moons ago when my younger brother represented Bentleigh Greens or played against them in his junior heyday. But hold on, the soft, thick pita bread that wrapped around the tendered diced-up lamb was absent. I’ve been served a lamb roll instead, with certainly less quantity and but I could also tell it was difficult to fit every ingredient into the roll as it overflowed…


Hard enough that I have to hold my stool, jacket and photographer bib in one hand, I copped tzatziki sauce all over my Stone Island jacket…well, shit.


Not to flex, but it is an essential jacket to be wind and water proof while I have to sit still for two hours.


So, was it a sign to come? A bad omen? My dinner was still decent but the pita bread makes all the difference from my experience.


Furthermore, the sprinklers turned on right after warm up concluded, and for some bizarre reason they turned away from the pitch and drenched a fair chunk of the unsuspecting Hellas fans in the grandstand. You’d laugh but be scared to get caught out as the angry old men threw about their ‘malaka’ this and ‘malaka’ that in the aftermath.


Kick off ensued and South scored early from a corner set piece. The pace was the game was set up with South controlling the midfield and lobbying the ball out wide for the winders to get in behind the defence and cause mischief.


Bentleigh Greens knocked on the door a couple of times, and a loose ball that was hoofed down to South’s defence line created an issue of communication between the keeper and defender. A calamity was just witnessed.


South’s keeper rushed out of the box and mishandled the trajectory of the ball as he clashed with his teammate and the Green’s striker. The ball bounced away and into the feet of their number nine to slot into the open net.


South Melbourne took the lead once again from the penalty spot due to foul and it ended 2-1 at break.


Half time was actually called prematurely as the sprinkles turned on again and no one seemed to bothered enough to turn them off. Players copped a soaking and my gear got wet too; I was having a shit one to be honest. Patrons who turned up late didn’t know that the sprinklers showered the stadium and they copped it as well. More expletives in Greek were heard and directed towards the club’s marshalls.



Copping a drenching [Source: Author]


The second half had South face the brunt of Bentleigh Greens on the offensive most of the time, with South running out of ideas of how to take back control of the midfield. Bentleigh had equalised, but it needed to be an absolute cracker from a distance to beat the keeper in the top corner. South’s defence had the area on lockdown but it took something special to claw themselves back into contention for points.


South’s key player Marcus Schroen was substituted off which left their fans bemused by the decision, but with their new signing arriving onto the field, Jai Ingham, they quickly changed their tune.


The former Melbourne Victory player and Kiwi international arrived just two weeks ago from Gold Coast Knights on a transfer and made immediate impact.


After receiving a short pass down the left wing, Ingham made a quick turn and belted a finesse shot into the far corner which caught everyone off guard, including myself, just minutes from full time. A short pause in shock and then delirium as the South Melbourne faithful celebrated what was the goal of the night and a season contender. This in turn deflated the home team and they struggled to created any offensive play to poach a third. South winners: 3-2.



Winners [Source: Author]


The focus is now on the original Melbourne Derby this Friday. South with two wins on the trot two rounds in, while Knights, having emphatically won 5-0 last week, limped to a 3-0 defeat at home to Avondale. More concerning from their performance is the fact that after Avondale received a red card, they still managed to put two more past Knights. The frustrations of their squad took its toll as Knights had also had a man sent off late in the second half. South are in driving position as favourites to take the three points in this upcoming fixture.


Video highlights of the game can be found below.





To see Luke’s published album of the game, click HERE



To return to the  home page click HERE



Our writers are independent contributors. The opinions expressed in their articles are their own. They are not the views, nor do they reflect the views, of Malarkey Publications.



Do you enjoy the Almanac concept?
And want to ensure it continues in its current form, and better? To help keep things ticking over please consider making your own contribution.



Become an Almanac (annual) member – CLICK HERE

One-off financial contribution – CLICK HERE

Regular financial contribution (monthly EFT) – CLICK HERE



  1. Jarrod_L says

    Nice to know the crowd has the same vibe as it was the last time I visited – 2014 FFA Cup tie against Perth. Fingers crossed the pita makes a triumphant return soon!

  2. Ill give the benefit of the doubt that there may be supply shortages, but felt that it was absolutely criminal of them when I got the order. Perhaps it may have been karma spilling the sauce on my jacket for being so judgey about it.

    Hoping Oakleigh Cannons will take out the number one spot for the Souvlaki if they are able to pounce on this slip up from their direct competition. They usually have quality ones there

Leave a Comment