Almanac Soccer: 5 Star Performance As South Remain Top Of The Ladder

Memoir Of The Geezer



“Heads and vees. You’ve blazed one over with ya left peg. Stinker. Ball’s off down the road at a ridiculous pace. Pinballing from kerb to kerb. On ya bike. It eventually stops under a parked Mondeo. Gonna be a squeeze, this. Feet first, you try kick it out. But that only makes things worse. Wedging the ball further under the exhaust pipe box. Fuck sake. Gonna have to get yaself right under. Head first. On ya stomach. Chewing concrete. Needs grabbing with both hands. Arms cut to shreds. Covered in shite from the underside of the car. Nightmare. That’ll teach you, though. Head over the ball next time. Think on.” [email protected]trekuartista95

Photo by @mitresports




Welloffside Photo Of The Week



March 1986
Southampton v Liverpool.
Mark Lawrenson and the linesman have a disagreement at The Dell.
Photo by Mark Leech



5 Star Performance As South Remain Top Of The Ladder.

Friday night saw South play Hume City who were situated rock bottom coming into this game. It was still early days to predict what the outcome would be as Hume were crowned the Dockerty Cup champions last year.

You’d think there would be a solid turnout by the Hume faithful, the Red and White army and co. The cliché theatrics of red vs blue, north vs south, souvlaki vs kebabs… Unfortunately, but expected, there were to be a no-show of Hume fans at Lakeside stadium. I don’t think I have ever seen any for as long I have been doing match photography for South. They too bring in a good atmosphere of their hardcore lot over at their ground but it’s a shame they don’t travel anywhere, or once in a blue moon.

Thankfully they didn’t waste their money to see a spanking. The game was already done by 30 minutes as South were 4-0 up by then.

South ran rings around them in that first half with heavy attacking pressure. Neatly placed crosses into the box kept the Hume City keeper busy all night, and so much were they backed up against the wall, they encouraged Alun Webb to drive one low outside the box for their 4th goal.

I could pinpoint the exact moment of collapse for Hume, it may be obvious if you watch the highlights. Their second goal was quite bizarre as a tame shot was gobbled up by the keeper, and as he tried to stand up, the ball squeezed and popped out of his grasp as he tried to hold it with one hand and press it against his ribs. It trickled into the goals and left everyone shocked at what they witnessed.



You could see Hume’s heads drop immediately while the keeper squats down and pulls his shirt over his head by the sheer embarrassment. Clarendon Corner rubbed salt into the wounds chanting “you fucked up” to make things more miserable. An unforgiving feeling playing away from home with no one there to back you up, you just have to feel sorry for him. Good to see his teammates come over to console him and lift his morale but it did not do much to make up for it. He was quite rattled and angry with himself throughout the whole game.

Hume City put up a fight in the second half and played more aggressive up the field, leaving no breathing space for South to find a clear shot on goal until the final few seconds as South pressed for a counter attack. A wayward cross into the centre made the Hume keeper rush outside the box to hoof it away. A miss kick was the result and South’s number 9 Harrison Sawyer picked it up and dribbled about 15 metres and into the box uncontested before burying it convincingly to make it 5 goals to the good.

Later this weekend, South will have to travel away to Ballarat, God knows why, to face Green Gully. Talk about being shafted for fuel and toll if you happen to live 2 hours away in the East of Melbourne. Only motivation to go if I sort out a car-pooling trip to Morshead Park.

To see Luke’s published album of the game, click HERE



Match Highlights


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