Almanac Short Stories: The Coach

I’ve always aspired to be a senior coach, what a job . It would be my turn to run the show . I could tell everyone what to do and they would actually do it . Whenever I would speak people would listen or they would be executed, well sacked anyway .


I’d love to demand of insubordinates, “are you in or not ?” Most would look to the floor as they nodded their heads, meaning they weren’t but didn’t have anything better to go to . I would be a great delegator . You know, give everyone a role and oversee the lot of it. In other words, do nothing.


When we won it would be because of me, and when we lost the other coaches and playing group would need to take more responsibility for their performances.


Obviously I’d have the main office and get my P.A. to make my appointments, of which I’d have none . I’d get Sky Channel put in. We all need downtime. Of course I’d get the latest model car as every club has a car sponsor. Throw in a petrol card, which would allow me to pick up the milk and bread as well . I’d get one of the juniors to clean it . He could do that after he put on my bets for the day. Each year the club would pay for an overseas study tour. Can’t wait to get back to Vegas . Throw in the Qantas Club, Mahogany Room, and tickets for the Spring Carnival while you’re at it.


The only problem I’ve got is working out the game plan.

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  1. E.regnans says

    Nice one, MitchellB.
    “Victory has a hundred fathers and defeat is an orphan…”

  2. Earl O'Neill says

    Game plan? What are all those assistant coaches there for?

  3. Your embarrassing yourself Barry Mitchell

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