Almanac Poetry – The Rhymer: The Wayward Golf Buggy

The Wayward Buggy


A buggy for his golf clubs, that you didn’t have to steer
Electric with remote control – it was the very latest
He displayed it at the club one day – warned everyone – keep clear
he strutted up to number one – you’d have thought he was the greatest.


His drive was less than fabulous – in fact it was a dud
but the driver was at fault not him, besides, he’d make it up
it sailed a hundred metres and then landed with a thud
so he took his trusty fairway wood to hit it to the cup


Another ignominious hit that he shanked a bit
towards a comely lass who was walking with her dog
so he sent his buggy on ahead and went to look for it
towards his ball, and the shapely girl, he went at a jaunty jog.


While he was engrossed in the girl and hound, and chatted like a flirt
he forgot that he had remote control of his perambulating cart
pretending to admire the dog, but enraptured by the skirt
the golfer’s buggy trundled on as certain as a dart


He chatted on admiring all the female’s attributes
pretending to admire the dog he squatted in a hunker
while the buggy made its own way on its predetermined route
the smitten cart controller hadn’t seen the coming bunker


Before he could collect himself and take remote in hand
his golf clubs made more distance between the golfer and his tryst
and all his brand new golf gear was upended in the sand
there wasn’t even one of them that the hazard sand had missed


Enraged the golfer left behind his object of desire
and cursed his golfing partners – he could not see the jokes
while from his upset buggy his golf sticks did a flyer
and every one did hit the sand – that cost him fourteen strokes.


He swore and he did splutter as he collected up his kit
and cursed his playing partners and not accepting any blame
for the course the cart had taken as it headed for the pit
while he was chatting up a girl ‘stead of thinking ’bout his game.


The moral of the story, that is if there’s one can be
is keep your mind on golfing while you’re playing
for a wandering eye can catch you out as certain as can be
and golf can wreak its own revenge on golfers – only saying.


© The Rhymer 2018


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  1. Nice one Mr Rhymer. Happened to a “friend” of yours I guess.
    I have been looking for one of those electric buggies on Gumtree. Yours is a salutary tale.
    Along similar lines – the Avenging Eagle and I were at Sculptures by the Sea in Cottesloe today. 2 statuesque blondes in their itsy bitsy teeny weenys marched across the sand; lingered in the shallows for some time before diving in.
    I lied when AE asked my opinion of the best sculptures I had seen.

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