Almanac Poetry: ‘Eddie Betts’s Shorts’ – Steve Rogers

‘Eddie’: Oil on canvas by Kate Birrell

I’ve loved the game of Aussie Rules ever since I was a kid

and it influenced me and my mates in everything we did

some of the things I can recall, the things that I can treasure

are incidents and players that have given greatest pleasure

Like mid week state-of-origin, on the Subi ground

when Sandgropers were the victors and took the big V’s crown.

And Barry Cable dropkicks, Lou Richard’s match reports

but the thing that makes me smile the most are Eddie Betts’ Shorts

There was Jacko Jackson’s handstands, Cometti’s ocean bobbing corks

Tony Lockett’s tally, and numerous reports

When Lethal took out Neville Bruns and settled in the courts,

But I am still delighted by Eddie Betts’ shorts.

They must have had some over when they made Mick Nolan’s pair

or maybe they just mixed them up and Eddie got to wear

his oversiz-ed bloomers – jeez they must let in some air.

But footy memories I have – I’m not stopping there

There was Warren Jones Tattoo, (though I’ll take your word for that)

He stood out from the rest  back then, not many had a tatt.

Every second player seems to have one now

But I bet that there aren’t any that can spell out WOW

And Teddy Whitten’s ankle boots and Warrick Capper’s mullet

and the time big Bustling Barry Hall, collected Staker’s gullet

and the majesty of Robby Flower and interstate imports

but nothing makes me smile as much as Eddy Betts’s shorts.

Eddy is a champion, and he don’t know when to quit

and just like Greedy Bartlett, he can play a bit

His goal sense is amazing a genius of sorts

and to think he does all that while wearing baggy shorts.

When trophies and memorials are presented at the Blues

there is nothing more appropriate that they could opt to choose

not cups, or shields or pennants or athletic supports

I think that they should award a pair of Eddy Betts’s shorts.

You can talk about the icons in footy in the past

Teddy Whitten’s boots and

The things that I’ll remember are Eddie Betts’s shorts.

Courts, sports, sorts, warts, imports, reports, supports, snorts,

Extorts

Eddie Betts’s shorts

can’t be sold or bought.

Akermanis’s hair, Tony Lockett’s tally, Wow Jones tattoo, Warrick Capper’s Mullet

Serg Silvani’s legs, Jacko Jacksons handstand, Cazaly’s One hander , Steven Smith’s screamer, Robby Flower’s grace, or the time that Bustling Barry’s fist collided with a face.

Or midweek state of origins were fought at the Subi ground

and WA were victors and took the big V’s crown.l,

Denis Marshall and other famous imports

Neville Bruns took Lethal to the courts

Lou Richard’s match reports

Captain Blood’s elbows and his numerous reports

Barry Cable dropkicks

Cometti’s ocean-bobbing corks

Athletic supports