Almanac People: Shaun Burgoyne wants greater protection for Sam Mitchell



Help him! Help him!

Help who?

Help the bombardier!

I’m the bombardier, I’m all right.

Then help HIM, help HIM!


In a scene reminiscent from Joseph Heller’s Catch 22, Hawthorn’s Shaun Burgoyne implored the Umpires to keep a look out on the physical attention to Sam Mitchell.


Mitchell, who it must be said is no stranger to dishing out the physical treatment himself, is apparently an endangered species at the Hawks and needs to be protected.


“We need to probably help him out, protect him a little bit more,” the triple-premiership Hawk said.


“He’s one of those guys who loves the fierce type battles and he’s done it for such a long period of time.”


– S. Burgoyne 12th September 2016.


The Hawthorn way is a physical brutal game plan, with intimidation and in-your-face aggression. When a side counters their antics and dishes it back what do we hear?


Umps you need to look out for him, help him.


What does Mitchell say? “I’m OK, I can deal with it”


Burgoyne: “It’s a hard one for the umpires as well because they want to let the game go, and they want it to be a physical game, and they don’t want to be paying these silly frees but if a player is being targeted like he was on the weekend I would have thought a free kick here or there would definitely help him when they step over the mark.”


True, let’s hope this sage advice is applied to both teams and not just the protected species.


Yossarian: Those bastards are trying to kill me.

1st Lt. Milo Minderbinder: No one is trying to kill you sweetheart. Now eat your dessert like a good boy.

Yossarian: Oh yeah? Then why are they shooting at me Milo?

Dobbs: They’re shooting at everyone Yossarian.

Yossarian: And what difference does that make?

Dobbs: Look Yossarian, suppose, I mean just suppose everyone thought the same way you do.

Yossarian: Then I’d be a damn fool to think any different.

Joseph Heller – Catch 22



About David Parker

A keen observer of all things sport and a Swans tragic, David likes to dabble in sporting documentaries including the Max Bailey doco for Fox Footy. David is currently filming a documentary on the Australian Cycling Men's Team Pursuit squad as they prepare for the 2016 Rio Olympics.


  1. Yeah poor old Sammy.

    I recall how appalled I was when Fyfe deliberately and intentionally rammed his thigh into Sammy’s knee a year back. Players should also stop ramming their heads into his elbows. It’s unfair.

  2. Neil Anderson says

    Puppetmaster Clarkson has pulled the strings on his Burgoyne puppet to ensure he mentions protection for Mitchell. It was so obvious. How strong will the umpires be when they hear this to avoid giving Mitchell the 50/50 free kicks?
    With the teams fairly evenly matched going into the match, my main concern for the Bulldogs is losing out on the free-kick count and giving them away on the Hawks forward-line.

  3. I’m sorry Neil but I think the Hawks will win the free count again, just seems to be the trend. Doggies will win contested ball, a sure thing.

  4. Let’s support Kim Jong Il while we’re at it.

    And the Kardashians.

  5. Jack Darling = Major Major from Catch 22. You can always see him when you don’t need him. You can never see him when you need him.
    Major Major’s office In/Out sign was reversed. It always said IN when he was OUT. It always said OUT when he was IN.
    In my experience its a grand system until the boss catches up with you.

  6. Major Major Major is a great character, his dad called him major as a joke and IBM made him a major when he enlisted also as a joke. He doesn’t allow people to see him in his office while he is in his office, they can only see him when he isn’t there. Just about sums it up.

  7. I think Diesel Williams might have had some sage advice for Sam

    “Come near me and I’ll will take you head off pretty boy. Actually I’m going to do it anyway as I hate lippy loose midfielders

  8. Mitchell targetted? ? In the mental health field you’d describe this sort of comment as projection. In layperson terms projection is when someone tries to attribute their behaviours, actions on someone else. Like in this case.

    Mitchell has never been backward in coming forward,never taken a step back in meting it out. If he is now getting caught out, and doesn’t like it, all one can say is that if you make your bed, you lie in it.


  9. Malcolm Ashwood says

    A staggering comment by Shaun Bergoyne mind boggling to say the least

  10. For the first time in his career Mitchell has been effectively tagged four weeks in a row. Makes sense for Hawthorn to publicly draw it to the umpires’ attention (and also note Burgoyne starts off saying Hawthorn needed to do a better job of protecting him).

  11. The saddest part about all this is that Mitchell may well be protected by the umpires tonight.

  12. I agree Smokie, I think it was a preemptive strike by Hawthorn to get the message out to the media and the umps. Interesting I heard on umpcam when Mitchell was whining about the attention from sellwood brothers in an altercation an umpire told him to cop it as he started the skirmish, so maybe they are onto it as well.

  13. Phillip Dimitriadis says

    Nice one Dave,
    I hope Footscray get stuck into him tonight. I hope the umpires look away. I hope Hawthorn lose by point because Sam Mitchell gives away a stupid free kick in front of goal. Go Dogs !!

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