Almanac Music: A Few Words In Defence Of Snoop Dogg

A FEW WORDS IN DEFENCE OF SNOOP DOGG

 

Not sure about you, footy fans, and I know the announcement has been met with a smattering of criticism, but I’ve hardly been able to contain my excitement after hearing the news some weeks ago that Mister Snoop Dogg will be performing at the MCG on Grand Final day. This development shot a thrill right through the footballing community, sending many fans into a heightened state of anticipation. Perhaps now seen as something of an elder statesman, after his early tear-away days of gangsta rap and ‘livin’ the gangsta life’, this legendary figure is still a huge drawcard and will slay ’em at the MCG, I’m sure.

 

And good on the AFL for standing firm in the face of the aforementioned criticism. They’ve stuck to their guns and displayed a bit of backbone and consistency, just as they have regarding issues such as reportable offences and suspensions, rule changes and interpretations, their unwavering support of country footy and so on. Hmmm…..well, let’s say they’ve been consistent at different stages, and at different levels of consistency. Though they have been resolute in their plans for the new stadium in Tassie. Hmmm….yeah….that’s maybe not quite going so well.

 

However, they’ve stuck with Snoop- that’s the beating heart of the matter here! All that other stuff is of secondary importance right now!

 

In addition, more good news, in that he’s only costing the AFL around….well, who knows exactly, but the whole shebang is coming in at less than $5 million apparently. How did they get him so cheap? The AFL must have a real Mr. Fuxit, sorry Mr. Fixit, (thanks for that one Marina) who orchestrated this spectacular coup. Perhaps Snoop had some down time and was happy to come over for a holiday and do them a bit of a favour, with the little bonus of a nice smoking jacket thrown in as part of the deal. All of this is contingent on the Snoopster being able to enter the country, of course- he was refused entry in 2007 after all, clearly on a minor technicality we’d suggest- but the AFL can doubtless facilitate what’s required to ensure that the show goes on.

 

Many of us first came to the Snoop’s work through some of the films that he has appeared in over time. I’m sure many of you are familiar with them too- Urban Menace, a film with a 1.9/10 average score on one of the movie data websites, a score so bad you know the film must be something extraordinary. And there’s Snoop’s slasher epic Hood of Horror, and the thoughtful and introspective Diary of a Pimp, further fillums not to be missed.

 

For the real enthusiasts there are the more obscure and harder to find (I mean very hard to find) masterpieces, such as the touching love story Foxy Hoes on Heat, the hilarious comedy Don’t Yakety-Yak, Pass the Crack, and if you can dig it up somewhere, there’s the special edition director’s cut of Mayhem in Bimbo Paradise– a must see, believe me.

 

But of course it is the music to be performed by this legend footy fans will be experiencing on Grand Final day. Let’s hope the Dogg can present to this massive audience some kind of overview of his great career, and particularly include some of his early hits from the 1990s, when gangsta rap was such a fresh and vital artistic force in the music scene. Examples of those hard-edged but perceptive lyrics come flooding back into one’s memory, along with a tingle of expectancy of hearing those pumping, drum-heavy tracks again.

 

Indulge me for a minute, for these are just a few of my favourite lines. How about ‘Quit knockin’ at my window….Ya motherf***in’ bimbo….Shake it up ya nympho’ from one of his earliest albums. Or ‘I got a motherf***in’ .38….So pass the piece bitch….You ridin’ with some killers’. And unforgettably ‘We f***ed in the rental….Lincoln Continental….All the hoes in the ‘hood know me’.

 

Poetry, no? Can’t you picture the scene, this coming Saturday, where many thousands of footy fans (and many more will be queuing for a drink, I suspect) will be rapturously waving their arms in the air and singing in unison with these songs? Where up on the big screen, many metres large, as the cameras sweep over the capacity crowd, there might be highlighted a typically happy Australian family, Mum and Dad and a couple of cute, smiling, dimple-cheeked kiddies, perhaps at their first Grand Final, enthusiastically adding their voices to the melodious roar around them- ‘We f***ed in the rental….Lincoln Continental….’

 

We should give our thanks, once again, to the AFL for masterminding and providing this spectacle. They are amazing aren’t they? The only thing I could think of that could improve such a perfect day, and really, this is perhaps asking too much, is that they might have scheduled an AFLW game as a curtain-raiser.

 

 

More from Reject Phil Here.

 

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