Almanac Life – The Muse: Musings on Day 85


by The Muse (Hayden Kelly)


Had a couple of Abbotts longnecks tonight after a day on the tools rolled a Capstan ready-rubbed and commenced to muse on what I had mused on today. I had lots of time to muse as I was transporting Willard for Vision Australia from the Monash vet clinic to his owner in Narre Warren. Now Willard is not your ordinary puppy in training he is a stud dog so as my is my usual practice I didn’t put Willard in the cage in the van he sat in the front seat beside me. If there is better company than a dog I am yet to find it. I felt like I was transporting Fastnet Rock back to Coolmore to enable him to sexually gratify himself whenever he pleased for as much money as he wanted. Good dog Willard he turned the radio off SEN when Dwaynepipe Russell came on and we agreed to listen to ABC Country. I suspect Willard is a Slim Dusty fan he took on a new persona when Slim came on and sang ‘Leave Him in the Long Yard’.  Perhaps Willard is thinking he is soon for the long yard.



Sorry, I digress, but I did (in no particular order) muse on:


(1) How shocked I was to hear that branch-stacking happens in Australian politics  and especially in the Labor Party


(2) Yesterday there were half as many Ministers in the Andrews Government sacked or stood down as we have virus sufferers in hospital


(3) In Victoria there are 16k paid up Labor members and it is estimated 12k are ‘stacked’. What happens at branch meetings, do they ever get a quorum to vote on whatever they vote on.


(4) I think the Premier of South Australia is right in keeping his borders closed to Victoria to avoid a mass exodus of Croweaters migrating to Victoria. Adelaide is a lovely city but  jeez  they are a weird mob, must be the water. They remind me of the kid at school who was destined to be nothing but an underachieving whimpering whining sook with no self-perception or sense of reality.


(5) Well, footy’s back but let’s face it, this year is a bastardised shadow of the real game and whoever wins the Flag will have an asterisk against it. Accordingly Clubs should be experimenting and playing the really good guys on their list even if they couldn’t get a kick in David Hayes’ stable at the expense of the blokes who can really play but push back a bit and annoy the coach. Sorry I was reading from the Luke Beveridge game plan.


(6) Isn’t it great how overnight the keyboard warriors have morphed from  from being infectious disease specialists into civil rights activists. Social media apparently is a wonderful thing. Please someone tell me why is it wonderful .


(7) If Prince Philip keeps his hands off the Land Rover keys he will turn 100 next year. Will he get a telegram from the Queen and will a telegram boy from British post knock on the door of Buckingham Palace and loudly announce ‘telegram from the Queen’.


(8) Dame Vera Lynn died today at the ripe old age of 103. Sad news and I note the family have declined to reveal the cause of her death. Now I wouldn’t pretend to be a coroner but I am tipping old age may have been a factor.


(9) How does it work if we are told to cough into our elbows to avoid spreading the virus and then told to bump elbows instead of shaking hands to avoid the virus?


(10) Colonial Beer has been withdrawn from a bottleshop I have never heard of because of [see 6 above]. Never tasted it as I am an Abbotts man but I am disposing of my Colonial Mutual Shares and my Colonial scales are in the bin in deference to [see 6 above]. Further I am concerned my copy of The Clancy’s singing ‘The Wild Colonial Boy’ will be confiscated by the Federal Police.


(11) When the name of Victoria is changed because [see 6 above] will it be called East South Australia  and  will we  all be required to drink West End, eat pie floaters and fritz and barrack for Norwood or Sturt or Glenelg .


(12) Should I stop my grandkids watching ‘Paw Patrol’ as according to [see 6 above] Chase the lead dog portrays Police in a good light .


(13) History has good and bad moments and is driven by people often with flaws but usually with the ability and daring to create history for better or worse. Please it’s not something than can be airbrushed like a facebook photo to make it look better. Nor can it be eliminated like a snapchat moment. Learn from it but understand history is something that happened. Pulling a statue down or changing a street name might make you feel better but it doesn’t change  history.


(14) Lidia Thorpe is absolutely brilliant one day and the next day doesn’t make much sense to me. Muse note: this is merely my observation of her comments and should not be construed as a racist comment by those who subscribe to [see 6 above].


(15) In an age of instant gratification and an air of entitlement, do symbolic gestures achieve anything aside from making those involved feel better about themselves. Cultural change requires courage, persistence and a concerted group effort over a period of time not symbolic bloody gestures.


(16) Tigers look to have found their 2016 form tonight. I wish the Dogs could do the same.



Take care all.



Hayden Kelly



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  1. Daryl Schramm says

    In the same no particular order;
    1 Me too
    2 I wouldn’t know but I’ll believe you
    3 Dunno
    4 Guilty
    5 No need for *. No one will forget 2020
    6 it can be, but is mainly not.
    7 This may become a hypothetical
    8 Agreed
    9 one is inside, the other is outside
    10 Proof required that you have named shares please
    11 No. SE Australia. That’s what the wine labels say.
    12 unless the dog is named Willard, then yes.
    13 I think the Peoples Republics of Kilburn and Peterborough would agree
    14 who is LT?
    15 Symbolic gestures should be continued until they don’t become symbolic anymore.
    16 Don’t care
    Long live ABC Country!

  2. Good muses Muse. The elbow one is an interesting point. Branch staking is perfectly legal just so long as you don’t get caught.

    Can anyone please explain the John Setka ads? What is he flogging? (Other than himself).

  3. Kevin Densley says

    All points interesting – number 8 particularly funny.

  4. Kevin Densley says

    … I mean, the final sentence comment of number 8, of course – not the initial contents!

  5. Hayden Kelly says

    Appreciate the feedback .
    Dips yep every time i listen to a race on RSN brought to me by Johny Setka I wonder what is he flogging ,noting he hasn’t brought me many winners lately .

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