Almanac Life: Education In Isolation


Reading time with Mr Reynolds


Like many others in these strange times, I’ve been thrust into the role of teacher. While instructions arrive daily online from the regular teachers, my two weeks in the role have shown that it’s important to put your own stamp on proceedings, to have your own teaching style. Fully embracing my new role, I’ve devised a whole new curriculum. Can see it being rolled out in schools post-social distancing.



Quality educational text


These are the programs that will surely become commonplace in schools over the next few years:




1927-1930 = 4 consecutive flags


11.11.77 – Name that score from the goals and behinds (My students are already elite at the 6 times table)


6996 divided by ?? = 99.94 (Fill in the gap)




Wisden Favourites – Read every copy of Wisden in your house. Rate, review and name your favourite year.


Sri Lankan Spelling Fun – Correctly spell and pronounce Warnakulasuriya Patabendige Ushantha Joseph Chaminda Vaas, Pramodya Wickramasinghe and Tharaka Sendanayake.


Power Without Glory– Read the novel. Submit 500 word piece comparing John West and John Wren.




12 Test Nations – Name all cricket Test nations and detail their chances of ever playing Australia or India again.


From Victoria Park to the MCG, 13 minutes in a taxi – Explore the vast distance covered by a great club.


Calypso Combine – Identify all the nations that make up the West Indies, in order of Twenty20 dollars earned.




1892, The Black & White Beginning – Explain the origins of the Collingwood story.


Bodyline – Demonstrate “Leg Theory’ while bowling to your brother.




549 – Explore the mystery and magic of all 549 remarkable goals kicked by the greatest man who ever lived.


Flipper Me This – Study the variations of SK Warne.


Finger Flip – Try to re-create the deliveries of Iverson & Gleeson without causing serious finger damage.


Home Eddienomics


Be In Charge – Display ways to run an organisation for more than 20 years while simultaneously running multi-media companies.


Broady Boy- Examine the cultural, historical and financial differences between Broadmeadows and Toorak.


Physical Education


Forward Defence – Learning to value your wicket.


Run like Tom Phillips – 2km time trial.


Bend it like Daicos – Shots at goal from impossible angles.



Group PE session



Josh bowling a perfectly flighted leg break to Gavin


Crime Stories


Out of Bounds – Measure in kilometres how far Wayne Harmes was over the line in the 1979 Grand Final.


Robbed (1) – Detail the wrongly given votes in 1990 that robbed Graham Wright of the Brownlow Medal.


Robbed (2) – Detail the wrongly given votes in 2010 that robbed Dane Swan of the Brownlow Medal.


Robbed (3) – Detail the block on Brayden Maynard not paid in the 2018 Grand Final.


Sandpaper – Illustrate ways to alter the condition of a cricket ball as well as suitable hiding places of any evidence.




Study the lyrics and learn to play the following songs:


“Good Old Collingwood Forever”
“C’mon Aussie C’mon”
“That’s the Thing About Football”
“I Made a Hundred in the Backyard at Mum’s”




Australian Brawl – write and act out the story of the 1990 Grand Final quarter-time brawl set to the tunes of Australian Crawl.




Learn and demonstrate the Didak “shimmy”.


Dance down the wicket like Dean Jones.


Good luck to everyone out there schooling from home!




For more great work by Luke Reynolds, click HERE.

For more Collingwood stories, click HERE.


Our writers are independent contributors. The opinions expressed in their articles are their own. They are not the views, nor do they reflect the views, of Malarkey Publications.


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About Luke Reynolds

Cricket and Collingwood tragic. Twitter: @crackers134


  1. Luke, I think you have a great future in the education of boys. There’s no doubt that your curriculum would completely engage them and have them coming back for more. Sensational!

  2. I detect something of a theme here? But good education nonetheless.

  3. Pure and utter gold,Luke brilliant !

  4. Geoff Reynolds says

    Well done Luke & family, Sport is King or Queen depending on your preference but why are there no actual pages within that book of Collingwood Champions?

  5. An inclusive curriculum Luke. Well done. Maybe Food and Hospitality with SK Warne: Baked Beans and Cheese Toasties on the Sub-Continent- Why it Can Work for You.

  6. Brilliant Luke. Now I understand why we have State based curriculums. Robbed (3) is the trick question, right?

  7. Neil Anderson says

    Maybe I was a bit quick to say that Mrs Anderson would be proud of her favourite pupil now teaching. I knew it would be a cricket based curriculum but never realized it would also be Collingwood infiltrating all subjects.
    Mrs Anderson as a member of the anti-football league and with a husband who only sees things in red, white and blue, your first teacher placement might come under a lot of scrutiny.
    I am guessing you have been mentored by Sam the Sub from the Coodabeens.

  8. Colin Ritchie says

    Ripper Luke, I try to a similar thing with my two young grandsons, with an Essendon bias naturally but it’s a battle as their dad does the same thing with Saints stuff!

  9. The crime stories are brilliant!
    And some of the songs are Champion songs!
    Great view from the cricket pitch.

  10. Mark 'Swish' Schwerdt says

    Didn’t realise that the boys went to a religious school Luke.

  11. DBalassone says

    Gold, Gold, Gold!

    Now, I might just go and youtube some of those 549 beauties.

  12. Lizzie Fryers says

    Well, Luke, no end to your TALENT. Keep teaching. I’m sure your home schooling classes would be full. Your Pop would be so proud. GO CATS!

  13. Nice one, Luke! Keep up the good work

  14. Geoff Wilson says

    Very clever Luke, but i think its a case of to much time on your hands. Keep up the good work.

  15. Excellent work, Mr. Reynolds. A+

    But you forgot an important lesson:
    What is the meaning of the words “Long Bombs To Snake”?

  16. Gillian Coote says

    Your talents have been wasted Luke! Great writer! Great teacher! Gav Josh and Em wont want to go back to the normal way of learning except I must say topics are a bit one sided! Go Saints!

  17. Garry Irwin says

    Apart from the Collingwood bias (I am a staunch Blues supporter), this is a great way to educate your children. Makes me wish I was a kid again.

  18. Michael Dadds says

    Outstanding Luke. Have forwarded to the esteemed Blacks’ newsletter, ‘Substandard’, for re-publishing if OK with you and JTH. Only the finest examples of literary craft find their way into that publication, I assure you.

  19. Matt O'HANLON says

    As a long term educator I’m sure we could adapt to ACARA by allowing individual states ( Qld and NSW rugby league ) to substitute in for Collingwood. Otherwise the authentic pedagogy supporting this should see heroic deeds on the sport’s fields in 10-15 years!

  20. Phillip Dimitriadis says

    Sensational Luke. Although, I reckon you could add a bit to the ‘Crime Stories’ section. Great stuff, mate.

  21. Marg Parsons says

    Great work Luke

  22. Cheryl-lee Vana says

    great stuff

  23. Gold.

  24. Dave Brown says

    Haha, excellent stuff! If you ever need a chop out, could deliver a guest lesson: “Feel the Burns: links between Norwood and Collingwood Football Clubs post-1990” via skype. If they can master an Iverson (are their fingers long enough?) it will be time well spent… let’s face it, it’s time well spent, regardless

  25. E.regnans says

    This has got Centre of Excellence written all over it.
    Well played, L Reynolds.

    Can anyone dial into a class?
    I imagine full-fee paying students by the zoom-load once the science curriculum reaches SK Warne.
    Impossible to imagine a better grounding in either Newtonian physics or psychology.

  26. Power without Glory except in 2004!

  27. roger lowrey says

    Great stuff Luke. Absolutely bloody marvellous. Sigh! Why don’t the capricious creativity pixies anoint me on the head with holy oil like that during the night? Send me their password off line comrade. I won’t tell. Promise.

  28. Hey Luke with you back at work I hope you have been strict with,Mrs R to make sure the curriculum is strictly adhered to ! ( ruler in place if,Mrs R is a naughty girl ? )

  29. Brilliant

    Maybe in Physics you can explore the 15 degree elbow bend allowable to bowl certain Sr Lankan leg spin deliveries.

    Or “Review the likelihood of economic/community/football success of the CG Suns franchise experiment within (a) Mr R’s lifetime (b) your son’s lifetime or (c) never

    Can’t wait until you can take the class on excursions again


  30. Greg Barnard says

    Clever and funny. No question that what side you end up following is hereditary, when you have switched on dad like this. Great fun to read.

  31. Greg Burke says

    What a brilliant article,Luke’s children will have a great sporting upbringing, a bit sad watching losing grand finals but fun all the same

  32. What a wonderful world we live in . At times like this , what really matters comes to the fore!

  33. Rick Kane says

    Excellent LR! Mind you I am reporting you to the Department of Child Safety, as I’m concerned about the long term psychological harm on these young people!

    Actually I’m just relieved a certain run down by Daisy on Junior didn’t feature!

  34. Luke Reynolds says

    Thanks very much to everyone who has commented, enjoyed each and every one of your comments.

    Extremely fun piece to write. Thoroughly enjoying the time with my kids. While missing the footy big time.

    Go Pies in the hubs!

  35. Tim Johnson says

    Awesome Luke, the kind of post that makes you think geez I wish I’d come up with that.
    Floreat Pica!

  36. Frank Taylor says

    Fantastic Luke!
    Indeed, it’s the sort of home-schooling that my family received…….
    Go Pies!

  37. Punx Pete says

    Ha! Gotta real creationism over evolution thing going there, Luke. But I’m sure the boys will find there way to a more balanced self-education through all your indoctrination.

  38. John Butler says

    Very, very funny Luke.

    And also indirectly confirms my thesis about being a Collingwood supporter: it’s either a product of family influence, or a hostage situation, and usually there’s little practical difference between the two.

    Spoken and authorised by a Carlton supporter. :)

  39. Tony Charles says

    Luke absolutely brilliant I showed your article to my ten year old son,Josh who replied geez wish he was our teacher

  40. Justin Staritski says

    Brilliant work Luke. Love it!

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