Almanac Humour: A Visit by the England Football Team


The 1970 FIFA World Cup-winning Brazil team, considered by some good judges as the best football side of all time. (Source: Wikimedia Commons.)



A Visit by the England Football Team


Recently on Twitter I discovered what I consider to be one of the funniest brief examples of sports humour that I’ve ever read, and thought it worth sharing with The Footy Almanac readership. It involves the England football team:


The England team visited an orphanage in Brazil today. “It’s heartbreaking to see their sad little faces with no hope,” said Jose, aged 6.


A little research on my part shows that this joke has been circulating online – in slightly different forms – for some years. However, I haven’t been able to find out the original source, which is not an unusual thing when it comes to jokes such as this one.


So, Almanackers, please share your own short examples of very funny sports humour and/or comment upon mine, if you’re so inclined.



Street footballers in Bauru, Brazil. (Source: Wikimedia Commons.)



For more from Kevin, click HERE.



We’ll do our best to publish two books in the lead-up to Christmas 2021. The Tigers (Covid) Almanac 2020  and the 2021 edition to celebrate the Dees’ magnificent premiership season(title is up for discussion at the moment!). These books will have all the usual features – a game by game account of the Tigers and Demons season – and will also include some of the best Almanac writing from these two Covid wintersEnquiries HERE


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Kevin Densley is a poet and writer-in-general. His fourth book-length poetry collection, Sacredly Profane, has just been published (late 2020) by Ginninderra Press. He is also the co-author of ten play collections for young people, as well as a multi Green Room Award nominated play, Last Chance Gas, which was published by Currency Press. Recent other writing includes screenplays for films with a tertiary education purpose.


  1. I reckon cricket’s a great source of humour, probably more so than any other sport. Could be the languid pace of play.

    After his international career concluded Rodney Hogg played in Willowfest: the Australian amateur cricket championships, up in Mildura and Wentworth. Hoggy remained properly livid and fast. One afternoon his captain threw him the ball.

    As he paced out his run-up a mischievous scorer, grasping the demon quick’s permanent volatility, yelled out towards the 38 Test-wicket veteran with faux ignorance, “Bowler’s name?”

    Hoggy’s lips tightened in a snarl. He didn’t bother to respond. But his captain did. “Hogg” came the reply.

    Not done yet, the scorer chirped again, “One ‘g’ or two?”

  2. Kevin Densley says

    Thanks Mickey – I love your example. Classic stuff! And I think you’re right about cricket and humour, too.

    I’m reminded of an occasion when I was playing bush cricket (a practice match on a lazy summer evening). My side was batting, and one of our batsman was run-out by a really arsy throw that hit the stumps. The opposition bloke who was scoring recorded the dismissal and wrote RUN OUT (RIDICULARSE) in the scorebook! Never did find out the actual surname of Mr Ridicularse!

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