Almanac Footy: Your guide to Christmas in September

 

 

Your guide to Christmas in September

 

 by A.L. Illowa

 

September

 

After flogging ladder predictors and copious amounts of track-watching, the gold tinge of the Toyota AFL Grand Final is upon us. Terrible hayfever and pressing September work deadlines never dampen the mood, as the Spotify playlist is saturated with ‘Up There Cazaly’ and ‘Leaps and Bounds’ on a loop.

 

The first Grand Final memory I have was crying on the couch as a five-year-old, watching Brisbane dismantle Collingwood in 2003.

The other early memory I have of Grand Final Day was at the Royal Melbourne Show, looking up at a TV on a pole under a pavilion watching Sam Mitchell shake Tom Harley’s hand for the coin toss ahead of the 2008 Grand Final; a day when the Geelong champs uncharacteristically had the ‘yips’ and the young Hawks pounced. Seemingly, the beginning of a famous brown and gold era.

 

If you’re unlucky to mourn your team’s unsuccessful home and away campaign, the interest quickly shifts to the hopes and fortunes of the final eight. Eight stories take different turns, scars are formed and heroes are born.

 

I find September provides a relief, especially here in Melbourne for my fellow footy-crazed companions. We exit from the darkness of cold Victorian  winter and arrive at a point whereby a festival of footy takes over old Melbourne town, in particular.

 

A core memory of mine was in 2010 listening to McKenna’s ‘Last Ones Standing’, post arguably the most famous and definitely last-ever drawn Grand Final series.

 

‘Last Ones Standing’ played as the Collingwood players made the slow but hard-earnt lap around the boundary line of the MCG. As an impressionable 13 year-old, that moment sits tight in my heart and that song provides a flood of memories of a hot September day, whereby Collingwood dominated in a Grand Final – albeit a replay and probably the easiest of Magpie Grand Finals since the turn of the century.

 

The Circus

 

Grand Final week is like Christmas for those who loves their footy. Kicked off with the Brownlow medal count on the Monday, thousands of fans huddle around their TV’s, doing their best to stay up to watch the winner crowned and hear hopefully an interesting speech.

 

The office chat the next morning around the water cooler is always a quick recap of the vote count and which player was unlucky to be snubbed.

 

The media cycle quickly moves away from review mode and turns into preview time for the two competing teams.

 

Usually by Wednesday, the two competing Clubs’ media tightens up and the only real access to the outside world is open training, coach’s presser and the Grand Final parade. On a public holiday on Grand Final Eve in Melbourne, the players make their way around Birrarung Marr on Toyota Hiluxs’, some wearing sunnies, some not. Usually a relaxed affair on both sides. And once the cup is raised by both captains, the players leave the jam-packed scene.

 

The calm before the storm commences, as all our minds turn to the next day.

 

A story will be told

 

There is such chaos associated with Grand Final Day. Everyone is scrambling to find the best vantage point to watch the game. But before this, depending on the person, the wagering and alcohol situation needs to be addressed. Friday night for me is about ensuring there is an early thought to which outrageous but fastidious 10-leg multi bet only worth a fiver which never gets up anyway.

 

The pursuit begins to obtain red meat which is essential for metabolising alcohol and getting out of small-talk. “I’m just going to go and grab another snag, mate. But good seeing you!” – important techniques to limit distractions on the day.

 

Speaking of Grand Final Day, it’s pivotal to control your day as much as possible, and don’t worry if the following anxieties kick-in – its totally normal; are you sure you are going to the right party? Are you around the right people? what if you get a poor view of the TV?

 

The first five minutes of the game the ball is bouncing around a bit more than normal, even the good players are fumbly and everyone rides the big hits and bumps.

 

The first goal sends the room in a spin  and can be even louder someones for those lucky enough to put money the correct first goal kicker. The day slowly becomes longer and the conversations with others persists. Those attached to the TV latch onto every moment of each quarter and look on with interest as the final siren goes. Who will have the ball at the final siren? Who does the camera pan to?

 

The presentation on the dias always presents a stirring image, usually a former Club great, handing over the premiership cup to the winning coach and captain. An image that will stand the test of time appears. Your kings of the AFL season.

 

And just like that, the footy season comes to a close. We thank the AFLW season and the  trade and draft period for saving our souls in the aftermath of another year of footy with one prevailing story.

 

 

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Our writers are independent contributors. The opinions expressed in their articles are their own. They are not the views, nor do they reflect the views, of Malarkey Publications.

 

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