Almanac (Footy) Poetry – The Rhymer: My Favourite things
[Think Sound of Music – Ed]
Shirt fronts, coat hangers
old fashioned shit mixers
head-high king hits and Liverpool kisses
Delayed concussion and stretched chicken wings
These are the tribunals’ favourite things
Claret that’s spilt from a forceful don’t argue
Stacks on the mill or a free-for-all blue
a brutal love-tap, a behind the play melee
such are the incidents we like on match day
Triceps, archilles and depressed cheek fractures
squealers and divers and over reactors
Kicking in danger that should have been pinged
These are a few of my favourite things.
See the low blow
Watch the blood flow
Bring the stretcher on
Stop the action
he’s in traction
now it’s on behind play
A knee in the back from the third player up
ump’s lost control, a fight will erupt
quick jumper punches and short forearm jolts
out on the street these would be classed as assaults
when the blood rule’s enforced and the injury’s bad
I simply remember a minor quad tear
then I don’t feel so sad.
ACL ruptures, dis-located fingers
hits in the knackers and corkies that linger
Concussion tests and vision that’s blurred
still play goes on and no-one’s deterred
Then a spear tackle and wild jumper slings,
now I can’t remember my favourite things
When I wake up,
my knee’s blown up
and my future’s lame
That’s when I remember my shortened career
… and why I love this game.
© The Rhymer 2018 – Steve Rogers
Denis Kevans is the Poet Lorikeet, has published three books of poetry, Political and some rugby league. Very progressive.
I
Greg, I may have to be come the Poet Indiscreet. I was not aware of Denis Kevans or Peter Meggit (who also has used the non deplume.
I was Christened with the sobriquet by the esteemed order of The Grumpy Old Bastards Society of WA – so have no dibs on it personally. Maybe like the Poet Laureatte the title may be passed on.
To be continued…
Steve Rogers
We need to sort this out! I’ll email…
now sorted, our Poet Lorikeet has become Poet Rogers. Welcome (again) Steve.