Almanac Cricket: WHAT. A. GAME!

What: Under 14/3 Grand Final (RDCA)

Date: Saturday 21st March-Sunday 22nd March

Time: 8:25am

Venue: Domeney Reserve, Park Orchards

Author: Oscar Bourke

If I could describe this grand final in three words, I would say it was exciting, thrilling and nerve-racking. It was just the closest grand final you could ever imagine.

As per the coach’s instructions (Daryl ‘Dazza’ Emery): we were treating the game, just like any other. This was our normal schedule:

8:00am: Arrive at the ground.

8:05am-8:10am: Inspect the pitch, talk about random stuff and listen to Coach’s Talk I.

8:10am-8:20am: Warm-up (AKA: not really caring) and complaining about our sore hands when the coach smacks balls into our hands. Finding out if we are batting or bowling, with then leads to more boring fielding or throwdowns and half of the team just stands around and chats

8:15am: Toss time!

8:21am: Coach Talk II.

8:23am: Walk out to the pitch.

8:25am: First ball is bowled.

In this game, our captain wins the toss and sends Heathmont in for the first 25 overs. I’m sent to mid-on bench for the first 5 overs, with this skinny little kid who goes by the name of Kenai.

Of course, everything happens while I’m off. A run out and Darcy bowls a beaut of a ball, which knocks out off, while their skipper tries to go for the drive. I’m finally put on the field, at the expense of Kane ‘Chopper’ Church and Patrick ‘Hollywood’ Fasan. We think we are in a tiny bit of trouble after 15, when they have 2-63 on the board; however, Jackson ‘Channy’ Braunthal bowls a horrible delivery, but somehow the batsman misses it and it bowls him! The very next over, our ‘team clown’ Jordy Milne, bowls a peach, which is missed and knocks out leg stump. Finally, in the last over of their innings, Darcy ‘Doogs’ Ireland comes in, gets the outside edge of the number 6 batsman and he’s out.

After their first 25 overs, Heathmont finished at 5-68.

After we gorge ourselves on a delicious morning tea of Tim-Tams, M and M’s, chips and strawberries (just for you Channy!) and given our throwdowns to our 2 ‘star’ opening batsman, they walk out to the middle. We all think that we’ll have a very comfortable lead at the end of our first 25. However, we were soon proved very wrong. We had lost 3-7! Our captain led from the front and scored a magnificent 56, but more about that later.

Jacko Emers came in with heaps of work to do. He got off the mark on his very first ball, which we all cheered. However, he was back in the pavilion, the very next ball he faced, bowled cheaply by my old primary school mate, Thomas ‘Dobbo’ Dobson. Our other opener for the season, Jack ‘Spice’ Spicer came in with much work to do, at 3-9, but it was too good to be true, as he was caught at point, from a loose delivery from the other bloke from Whitefriars.

We were all down on confidence at 4-15, but we sent out ‘Hollywood’. He and the skipper steadied the ship a little bit, but with the score at 5-21, he was bowled and we were in massive trouble. It was very soon 6-21, when our other keeper, Cuzza, played another loose shot and gave the man at point a very easy catch. Kenai came in and batted very well, and at the end of our 25 overs, we were 7-43!

My Dad and I had about an hour’s net session after the day’s play, just trying to figure out what I was going to do the next morning, if I was needed to bat.

I went home, chilled for the rest of the day and went to bed pretty early, not thinking about what a massive day I would have tomorrow…

Early Sunday morning, I turned up the ground and I had a pretty solid 15 minute net session. I was moving my feet very well and I was timing the ball!

I expected to sit down and relax for a few overs. However, in the first 2 balls of the day, both of our batsmen were gone. I came in very nervously and I was facing the hat-trick ball. Did I mention the score was 9-54? They were sledging me like no-one’s business (just in case you were wondering the words they were saying are far too offensive to put into this piece of writing). I just can’t remember what was going through my head. I had survived the hat-trick ball, but only just, according to the bowler who I had met in May. I won’t tell you the full story, but here are the highlights:

  • I just kept blocking them out.
  • My mate and my skipper, got 50
  • I scored 2 runs. An edge, just passed the keeper for 1. However, it should have been two, but I slipped over at the bowler’s end. My other run was a beautiful on-drive passed mid-off.
  • My partner (just before he got out), told me that ‘Bourkie, this bowler is s**t.’ Guess what happened next ball?

Anyway, we had made 100 runs, so they needed 101 runs to win. I mean, they should of done it, being 5-68. However, they lost 5-16! Our vice-captain, Channy, just ripped the heart out of the Heathmont batsmen.

We had won the 2014-15 Grand Final; I won the Man of the Match medal to go with the Premiership medal.

A great twodays of cricket!


  1. Jill Fitzsimons says

    A great piece of writing, Oscar. I just love the nicknames of your team and the way an ordinary day turned into something extraordinary!

  2. BourkieBoy says

    Thanks Mrs Fitzsimons

Leave a Comment