Almanac Cricket: The Nominative Determinism World Test Series

 

“The Cricketer”
by Kate Birrell

 

The Belligerents v The Peaceniks

 

Belligerents (in your face types, by name anyway. Manichaeans, hard-headed, hard-hearted, natural born rules enforcers, by name anyway)

  1. David Warner
  2. Geoff Boycott
  3. Ian Redpath
  4. Mark Waugh
  5. Steve Waugh (c)
  6. Jacques Kallis (keeps out Ben Stokes on name and pure numbers)
  7. Quinton de Kock (keeps out Tim Paine for pretty obvious reasons)
  8. Malcolm Marshall
  9. Mitchell Starc
  10. Paul Reiffel
  11. Shane Warne (Ash Mallett a tad unlucky)
  12. Roger Harper

Manager: Mike Gatling

 

Peaceniks (mung beans and happiness types, sensualist hippies, and god-fearing do-gooders, by name anyway)

  1. Andy Flower
  2. Joe Darling
  3. Allan Lamb
  4. Joe Root (c)
  5. Mike Hussey
  6. Heath Streak (Gary Sobers had strong claims but too much of a downer, by name anyway)
  7. Ian Healy
  8. Peter Sleep (happily MacBeth, Thane of Cawdor, was dropped from the Belligerents on form and name. He woulda flippin’ murdered Sleep.)
  9. Ian Bishop
  10. Joe Angel
  11. John Snow
  12. Chris Rogers

Manager: Greg Blewett

 

To read more by Matt Gately click HERE.

 

To return to our Footy Almanac home page click HERE.

 

Our writers are independent contributors. The opinions expressed in their articles are their own. They are not the views, nor do they reflect the views, of Malarkey Publications.

 

Do you enjoy the Almanac concept?

And want to ensure it continues in its current form, and better? To help things keep ticking over please consider making your own contribution.

 

Become an Almanac (annual) member – click HERE.

 

 

Comments

  1. I love the licence of nominating Mike Gatling (sic) as Manager of The Belligerants!

  2. Unsure where Kirat Kohli is?

    Certainly a fine batsmen, though he’s never held back on his belligerence. Today his behaviour hasn’t mellowed.

    His action into walking Into Sam Konstas this morning was poor form. Will he get a fine, or some sort of punishment? I won’t hold my breath.

    Glen!

  3. Surely the Chappells should be in the Peacenik batting lineup. Great fun. Well played.

  4. Peter Sleep a peacenik? I heard him sledging blokes from deep on the boundary – complete with the “c” word – in a club game at Woodville Oval once. Didn’t strike me as the kumbaya type!

  5. What a cracker, Gaters!
    Can you give us one for footy??
    I made a start but the 1973 GF stopped me dead when I realised Laurie could not have been Fowler and Neal laid on everything except Balme.

  6. Matt Gately says

    Peter Sleep gets a run in the Peaceniks XI cos his surname suggests a gentle, comatose even, nature. It is the nominative determinism world test series after all.

  7. Matt, I am loving your burst onto the Almanac scene. Enjoyed this – but it’s rather confronting for a bloke called Harms, and even more confronting for two of my brothers who are in Medicine.

  8. You think you’ve got it tough. Try growing up as Peter (“you are the rock on which I will found my church”) Boulder Stone. High School was hell.
    Regards,
    Rockhead.

Leave a Comment

*