Almanac (Creative) Footy: In the drinks break with the rovers

 

 

 

Champagne cocktail (Wikipedia)

 

 

 

Carolyn Spooner resumes her series comparing the positions on the Aussie Rules Football field with other things. She is up to the rovers. You can read more of Carolyn’s delightful stories HERE including her  accounts of the fishy full forwards, the motoring centre half-forwards, the canine centres, the heroic centre half-backs, the skyline full backs, the treetop ruckmen and the weaponised ruck rovers.

 

 

Rovers are perky, in-your-face small players with a huge influence on the game. Being always on the go, rehydration is vital for these players. So, who are some of the interesting rovers over the years, and what beverages might they be associated with?

I draw inspiration from my trusty International guide to drinks (London: United Kingdom Bartenders Guild, 1994) which is still in print and a fabulous resource.

The big three of the roving cohort from the olden days each won three Brownlow Medals: Bunton, Reynolds, Skilton. Because he also won three Sandover Medals, Fitzroy’s Haydn Bunton deserves to be the Champagne of rovers. (Napoleon said that in victory you deserve Champagne, in defeat you need it.) Essendon’s Dick Reynolds would be the next best thing, Sparkling Burgundy, which was created in South Australia at Auldana Cellars in 1893. (Just don’t try to ask for it outside South Australia.) South Melbourne’s cheeky Bobby Skilton was the rover in the AFL’s team of the century. In my third bubbly analogy he is Barossa Pearl, a light sparkling drink that introduced thousands of Australians to wine in the late 1950s and early 60s when beer and spirits dominated the scene for men; sherry or a hock, lime and lemon de rigeur for women.

When I was working at the State Library of South Australia I curated an exhibition and wrote a story on Barossa Pearl based on its extensive wine-related collections, quoting from an oral history interview with Orlando’s marketing manager, Keith Gramp, who said that Barossa Pearl took Australia by storm in 1956, prompting a Melburnian to ask in a bottle shop if they had any Barassi Pearl!

North Melbourne’s Allen Aylett wrote the chapter on ‘Let’s go roving’ in my reference book High mark edited by Jack Pollard (Sydney: Murray Publishing Company, 1967).

‘Rovers are in the best position in Australian football from which to dominate play. They cover the entire field, will-o’-the-wisp opportunists, artful dodgers of quick wits and well-honed reflexes constantly scheming to get the ball. It is the most demanding role in the game. The best rovers have an in-built ability to read a game. They have to be aware of the trend of play. Instinctively they have to feed forwards who are beating their opposites. They need a close understanding with their own backs so they can help in defence. Rovers traditionally have been built for speed and stamina, greyhound types of great dash and exceptional acceleration, fit enough to sustain a cracking tempo for 100 minutes.’

Aylett was chairman of the VFL when it became the AFL, so was popular among his penurious colleagues; he would have needed voluminous quantities of Punch with the lot, to celebrate that achievement. Footy has changed so much since those days — today’s rovers are generically known as on-ballers and can be harder to identify on the ground, so bear with me on my calls.

Being a proud Croweater, let’s look at some South Australian rovers and drinks in AFL ranks. I am giving my Coopers Ale award to Central Districts’ all- time team and Hawthorn’s team of the century rover Johnny Platten of the curly locks like the froth on a schooner — don’t get me started on interstate names for glass sizes, all I know is I can’t get a butcher outside my home state. Let alone a pony.

Tony McGuinness is Adelaide’s team of the decade rover, but despite his name and because he worked for a good cause for kids, I am giving him a drink from the 1960s designed for kids, the brightly coloured Bobo cordials that you made up from the concentrate in the jam pan. Our family’s favourite was the orange — goodness knows how many chemicals we imbibed from that mixture. If you haven’t heard of it, it’s because Bobo was only sold in South Australia. The inimitable Rory Sloane is as popular in South Australia as the iconic Farmers Union Iced Coffee is beloved by tradies, but recently upstaged by the new kid on the block from the Fleurieu Milk Company.

Although black-and-white are not in my genes, the addition of teal led me to admire Robbie Gray, especially later in his career at the Power when it wasn’t all about him, like a Cognac at its best in its maturing years. Zak Butters is courageous, clever and charming, and with those bedroom eyes he can be the Nightcap of your choice.

Moving interstate, Sydney’s team of the century rover, captain courageous and sweetheart Paul Kelly would be a Strawberry Daiquiri. Hawthorn’s courageous Peter Crimmins, being brown and gold and in heaven, would be the heavenly Benedictine. The modest boy from Kybybolite, Brisbane’s adorable Lachie Neale always seems surprised by his latest accolade, for which he has nearly as many as there have been Jimmy Watson Memorial Trophies, given to the best young red wine at the Melbourne Royal Wine Awards since 1962.

The suburb of Carlton is in the heart of Melbourne’s coffee shop culture, so my blue-bagging rovers are all types of coffee, my favourite being Yurgicheffe from Ethiopia. Adrian Gallagher was in Carlton’s team of the century. With an Irish name he would be an Irish coffee, topped with cream. Ted Hopkins used to wear glasses on the bench so he can be my favourite Latte, which is often served in a glass. Syd Jackson was an attractive dynamo who would be a double strength Espresso. Jimmy Buckley grew up wanting to be a jockey, but became one of the Blues’ tough customers/party boys, so he might be an exotic Turkish coffee, made in a copper pot with cardamon. And with a name like Vin Catoggio, he would have to be a Cappuccino.

St Kilda’s Brownlow Medallist Ross Smith was a no-nonsense, head down sort of player, and what a work ethic, deserving of a refreshing Ginger Beer, which Mum used to make with her ginger beer starter, the bottles stored in the laundry and occasionally exploding, but so delicious. Melbourne’s lovable Angus Brayshaw was dealt cruel blows with concussion. His helmet on top of his dark hair reminds me of a Black and Tan, half pale ale topped with Guinness. If you put an upside down spoon over the ale you avoid mixing the layers. There’s even a specially designed black-and-tan spoon bent in the middle to balance on the edge of the pint-glass for easier pouring!

Down at Footscray Tony Liberatore packed a punch, like the pints of Scrumpy found in Somerset that put you on your ear without realising their potency. Brian Royal was the Bulldogs team of the century rover. Choco is the Chocolate Milkshake I just about lived on as a teenager, drunk out of the icy metal containers you drank in the deli — bring back the corner delis.

As well as being a darn good footballer, Collingwood’s team of the century rover Bob Rose was genial company and would be a Rosé, a few glasses of which produce surprising post-prandial-lethargy for a seemingly light drop at lunch. Another Magpie, Lou ‘the mouth’ Richards, was a gregarious Greek in the Greek team of the century, so maybe he is an Ouzo, which is an acquired taste.

Geelong teams have always been known for their skill. Their team of the century rover Billy Goggin moved faster than the jugs of Pimms out the back at the Adelaide Oval Test. With his Italian heritage Peter Pianto would be an Amaretto. Gary Hocking changed his name to Whiskas—a bit feral— so he has to be Moonshine—a bit rough but what a kick.

North Melbourne’s smooth moving Barry Cable MBE gets a gig as the rover to Polly Farmer in the Indigenous team of the century. Wearing the Western Australian colours of black and gold he can be a Rusty Nail with its golden hues from Scotch Whisky and Drambuie. Jim and Phil Krakouer seemed to bring their own footy, waxing dinky passes, going together like Bundy and Coke, Jim the rover, Phil the half forward.

I first became aware of Leigh Matthews, Player of the Century, when I used to buy that curious tabloid Truth for the football coverage – remember that flimsy paper? There was a photograph of him on the back page as a 16-year old before his first game, chunky and pugilistic even then. What a player … but, as a South Australian, the memory of that 1974 interstate clash at Adelaide Oval still leaves a bitter taste in the mouth like the wormwood flavoured Absinthe. The Tiges’ team of the century ubiquitous rover Kevin Bartlett eventually lost me, hungry for goals and milking the frees, so he can drink the stuff, Milk that is. (No-one can drink milk straight who was subjected to those warm bottles at primary school recess in the 1950s.) Ben Cousins was a powerhouse in West Coast’s glory years and has re-invented himself as a sophisticate on Dancing with the Stars, so he can be Brandovino which was a notorious party drink in the 1970s and 80s.

Back in South Australia it’s easy researching playing positions in the old days because The Advertiser on Friday used to show the teams in playing position, including the first and second rucks, so for June 1976 the rovers were Glenelg: Hodgeman and McInerney, West Torrens: Hank and Green, South: Cox and Collins, Sturt: Nunan and Shultz, Norwood: Gregg and Nicholson, Port: Cunningham and Cahill, West: Grimwood and Mark Williams, North: Marsh and Diorio, Centrals: Vivian and Wanganeen, Woodville: Ruth and Nicholls.

Roger Rigney was Sturt’s beloved first rover in its premiership years in the 1960s. The Wombat was always to be found in and under the packs, sometimes disappearing altogether, maybe in search of some refreshing Spring Water. (Curiously a watered down spirit is called a ditch—as in a Whisky Ditch.) Fellow double blue Peter Endersbee broke the mould as far as rovers went, being nearly six foot, so he would look for a tall drink like a Mojito with plenty of mint. Enders was a strange cat — sadly no longer with us – would sing Bob Dylan songs as he was going for the ball, while his two checkside goals from the scoreboard pocket in the 1968 grand final against Port bring to mind an amazing forward pocket dweller we will meet next time. The sturdy Roger Dunn used to travel over from Tumby Bay and have steak and eggs before the game, so he would need lashings of Tea to wash that lot down.

Four North Adelaide rovers. Maybe the smallest rover in the SANFL was Barry Bamford so he might be a nip of Brandy. Magarey Medallist Tony Antrobus took one of the great marks of all time. Fortunately for the Angry Ant there’s no drink flavoured with formic acid, but I received a Christmas present of a bottle of Green Ant Gin which actually has green ants floating in it. Its tagline is ‘the world’s oldest new flavours’. Daryl Hart was a hard working player, all heart, so maybe he would be a Southwark, the working man’s beer. From the old days, three time Magarey Medallist Tom McKenzie was the Roosters team of the century rover with a stint at West Torrens. He was wounded during World War One, the story going that he might have been left for dead had the stretcher-bearer not been an Eagles supporter who recognised him. Tommy would be the much decorated Grange Hermitage.

Classy Ray Huppatz proudly wore the Woodville green and gold so I am giving him the status of Cooper’s Stout with its yellow label. Ralph Sewer was in the fire brigade at a time when half the Peckers team seemed to be firies. Zip Zap is best remembered as a rover, playing from 1969 to 1990, the only player to appear in the SANFL over four decades and the only playing grandfather, and because his Woodville years were watered down with a stint at Glenelg, I’m calling him a Portergaff, a mix of Stout and Lemonade.

Port Adelaide’s team of the century rover Bob Quinn was their heart and soul so would be the Black and White Scotch with the Westie and Scottie dogs on the label. Brian ‘Bucky’ Cunningham was equally adept with both feet and you never knew which foot he would shoot for goal with. With that nickname he can be a Buck’s Fizz, but he’s a smart dude having been CEO at Alberton and in the Department of Further Education, Employment, Science and Technology. Tim Ginever has to be a Gin and Tonic, my favourite being the Kangaroo Island Wild Gin with a lemon squeezed into it.

In the AFLW, Port Power coach and former Carlton player Lauren Arnell would be a Blue Lagoon which has vodka, blue curaçao and lemonade with a garnish of lemon slice and maraschino cherry. Adelaide Crows player Ebony Marinoff used to work in the western suburbs at the Fulham Foodland, slicing and serving prosciutto for the Italian community, who might drink Strega, a yellow Italian herbal liqueur and digestif made since 1860, flavoured with saffron, the world’s most expensive spice.

My penultimate rover is Dustin Martin, before he moved forward, and because of his name he has to be a Martini, but definitely stirred not shaken. To opposition supporters on the day, he would be a Dirty Martini, which as well as gin and vermouth has a dash of olive brine —invented in 1901 and popularised by President Roosevelt. But that would be unfair to Dusty. With every reason to be a rabble rouser on and off the field, he carries himself superbly and has made the palm-off an art form.

There are too many rovers to squeeze in here, so some of them will appear in the next instalment on the resting rovers and small forward pockets — because they are in the pockets the theme will be sartorial. Who will get to wear the duffle coat? Feel free to add your suggested players as a comment and they will be  included.

The rover in this year’s All-Australian team is Fremantle’s estimable Caleb Serong, who among many honours kicked the AFL goal of the year in 2021. Being part of the purple haze, he can be a Purple Rain cocktail which was inspired by the eponymous 1984 song by Prince. It’s made with vodka, blue curaçao, cranberry juice, pineapple juice, grenadine and lime juice — yummo.

So the busy rovers are connoisseurs of the game and amusing to watch. It’s a fun exercise to think who you would like to see roving and what sort of a drink they would be in a team playing in a thirsty heaven.

 

Read more of Carolyn’s delightful stories HERE

 

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Our writers are independent contributors. The opinions expressed in their articles are their own. They are not the views, nor do they reflect the views, of Malarkey Publications.

 

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