AFL: What’s the point?

Righto you lot, said Gill with a frown.

How do we make our game the jewel in the crown?


They scratched at their heads and rubbed their noses.

Some even contorted into strange poses.


A bloke called Steve called out from the back:

Why don’t we invent a footy hack?


Gill was excited right down to the core.

Gee Steve, he said, tell me more!


At business school, said Steve the extorter.

We learned how to gouge the loyal supporter.


Gill lent forward in his leather chair.

How do I look? he asked, combing his hair.


The game is too long; carries far too much fat.

We should give them this, but they should pay for that.


Why don’t we halve the half-time break?

At $2,000 per second there’s a lot at stake.


I have the solution said the man bun in the corner.

We should look at this game quarter by quarter.


If we abolish the first and to the second say “bye”!

We could afford a new stadium in downtown Shanghai.


Why stop there?

Yelled a voice down the hall.


If we get rid of quarters 3 and 4

We need no game at all!


Our writers are independent contributors. The opinions expressed in their articles are their own. They are not the views, nor do they reflect the views, of Malarkey Publications.




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About Damian O'Donnell

I'm passionate about breathing. And you should always chase your passions. If I read one more thing about what defines leadership I think I'll go crazy. Go Cats.


  1. RIP Clive James

  2. Dips unfortunately a lot of truth in that ohh to have,Wayne Jackson return a administrator who truly got it and cared about the overall game not just the bloody afl

  3. If not quite turning in his grave, Clive James would surely raise a chuckle at this, old mate!

  4. Paul Spinks says

    Spot on, Dips.

  5. Ah Dips the Bard of Burwood. Methinks there is wisdom in your words. Alas poor Yorick! The AFL on TV this week reached an all-time low with their Draft Spectacular that made the Americas Cup look like Formula1.
    How much lower can they go? I feel for the future of OUR game. Why not sell it to the Chinese now?

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