AFL Round 4 – Melbourne v Carlton: A Game for the Agars

So a mate of mine has to walk through the foyer of his office building in his jocks. Wouldn’t be the first time this has happened. Wouldn’t be the first time a bloke (with a few life giving cold frothies in his belly) has started a sentence with:

“If (insert team here) beats (insert your team here) on the weekend I will walk through the foyer of the office in my underpants.”

In this case the teams inserted were Melbourne and Carlton respectively.

And so it will come to pass that on Tuesday morning at 10.45 am SHARP, (subject to Supreme Court injunction) will walk through the front foyer of his office building at (subject to Supreme Court injunction), Hawthorn in front of all the staff, dressed only in a freshly pressed pair of his Sunday best jocks. And we should also not forget that the windows at (subject to Supreme Court injunction) are very expansive and provide an impressive frontage onto (subject to Supreme Court injunction) Road. I suspect he will be walking through the foyer like Jared Tallent.

The Carlton v Melbourne game unfolded as I was retrieving all the camping equipment from the storage attic in our carport roof. This is not usually a pleasant task. It requires several trips up and down the ladder, reaching into dark corners of the roof space to locate the billy (should have washed it out before putting it away last Easter), the tent (should have repaired the zipper that is the front “door”), the stretcher beds (ignore the little tag that says not suitable for children over 12 – the two coming with me are 14 and 17), the camping crockery and cutlery (see remarks about the billy), the gas cooker (do these need cleaning or does the first burst of heat self-clean them?), and the gas light (which is more of a mood light than seeing light).  On Thursday morning we will be heading up the Western Highway to the Grampians, to camp at the foot of the sleeping giant.

But this game of football was joyous to listen to. It made my job a breeze. And not because Carlton was losing, but because Melbourne was winning – on its own merits. It was a footballing version of Ashton Agar’s Trent Bridge innings in the Ashes of 2013; fresh, fun and intoxicating (well, we were consuming pots of Carlton Draught at the All Nations when Agar was belting the Poms around the park).

And hats off to Tim Lane. He seemed to quash his Carlton urgings (albeit with difficulty) and celebrated the moment. His calling of the game was one of the best he’s put out there for a while. When Pedersen kicked the sealer with an unlikely snap from the boundary line I could almost see the success starved Dees supporters reaching for their club membership cards to re-familiarise themselves with the club song printed on the back.

“It’s a grand old flag, it’s a high flying flag………………” Magnificent.

But at the same time a bloke sitting in his lounge room in (subject to Supreme Court injunction) probably sank into the cushions. No doubt he booked into the closest beauty salon for bit of laser hair removal, rummaged through his jocks drawer for the underpants without holes, and sat his children down to explain why they should stay off Facebook for a few weeks.

However, I say good on you (subject to Supreme Court injunction). Good on you for putting loyalty to your struggling Blues ahead of clear thought. Good on you for going past the tired old “I bet you a couple of bottles of red”.  Anyone can say that and delivery on the bet is easy and unchallenging. I admire your tenacity if not your judgement.

So I will be there on Tuesday morning if humanly possible. I hope you can stride with pride. Just be careful of the Matt Shirvington “swing” that can occur if the pace is too hot.

About Damian O'Donnell

I'm passionate about breathing. And you should always chase your passions. If I read one more thing about what defines leadership I think I'll go crazy. Go Cats.


  1. Dips – You can’t imagine how relieved I am to find you NOT writing about the Cats for the first time in history.
    We expect an exclusive pictorial update tomorrow, pending the suppression order and/or blackmail payments. You have the Malarkey banking details. I am sure (subject to Supreme Court injunction) is an avid reader, who would like to buy the remaining stock of 2013 Almanac books.

  2. Peter Flynn says


    I love the big statement.

    I was at Southern Cross as the final siren rang.

    There was a lot of blue and white.

    And it wasn’t Corio Bay blue and seagull white.

  3. PF yes the big statement only has one winner.

    BTW – the footballer in the photo on the site at the moment looks like Joan Kirner.

  4. There isn’t a joke in Melbourne today (or tomorrow) that doesn’t have Carlton as the butt of it.

  5. Malcolm Ashwood says

    Amusing read and i am sure it will be a enjoyable morning tomorrow . The happiest people in Melbourne re Carltons trouble are Hardwick and Richmon as it has diverted a lo of the heat off them . Top comparison , Dips re Melbourne and Agar .
    Litza above geez your not wrong re Babe Ruth Thanks Dips

  6. Dips,

    He walked as promised. I’ve seen the footage……

  7. Yes, true to his word. Though what is the definition of “jocks”?

  8. Tony Robb. says

    We have a saying at the golfie. There has never been a shot played that didn’t give someone enjoyment. Carlton is providing lots of enjoyment to lots of someones

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