AFL Round 14 – Gold Coast v Geelong: Who (possibly plural) plays on G. Ablett this Saturday evening?

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I wish I were going to the Gold Coast this weekend.

I wish I were the Geelong Racing Club’s J. Dunne, resting on his laurels as the man who made the club’s Cup an international event. Because he’s probably organised some junket up there – a research trip to the Tweed Heads trots.

I wish, like J. Dunne, I were lying back in a bath robe monogrammed ‘GURU’ (especially requested by email), the terri-towelling gaping to let the sunshine onto his ample chest, tear drop sunnies and leather policeman’s cap, an umbrella drink in hand, and smirking the smirk of a man who has an eye on Jupiter’s.

But I’m not. I am hosting the St Monica’s Catholic Parish Tennis Club Trivia Night – which is in Moonee Ponds. (Gallipoli Crescent?)

This will be a cracking match. It means heaps to both sides: a key in the Suns’ push to win a spot in the eight; a key for the Cats’ top four aspirations.

So, a couple of questions for the Cats fraternity, and others:

Who plays on G. Ablett?

Why do the Suns win?

Why do the Cats win?

Will The Bride (J. Dunne’s wonderful soul-mate, Helen) abandon him early (my advice) and head out on her own.

And the big question: how much will J. Dunne have on the home side? (He has history. Boy, does he have history)


The Footy Almanac 2013

About John Harms

JTH is a writer, publisher, speaker, historian. He is publisher and contributing editor of The Footy Almanac and He has written columns and features for numerous publications. His books include Confessions of a Thirteenth Man, Memoirs of a Mug Punter, Loose Men Everywhere, Play On, The Pearl: Steve Renouf's Story and Life As I Know It (with Michelle Payne). He appears (appeared?) on ABCTV's Offsiders. He can be contacted [email protected] He is married to The Handicapper and has three school-age kids - Theo, Anna, Evie. He might not be the worst putter in the world but he's in the worst four. His ambition was to lunch for Australia but it clashed with his other ambition - to shoot his age.


  1. Before I get to your questions let me first rid myself of the vision of J Dunne’s gaping dressing gown.

    There is only one way to play Ablett – really hard in their forward 50, and more a cajoling type role when he is in defence. Make him kick around his body rather than letting him run in a straight line. That tactic worked when Ling kept Swan under wraps in the 2011 GF.

    Geelong should pick 3 big blokes, and 19 others who can run even time or better.

    JTH – I have a great question for the Trvia Night – who just won the US Golf Open and for bonus points, what were his odds before the tee-off?

  2. I cannot shake the feeling the Suns will win. Past trips there by the Cats have been less than impressive (if I recall correctly). The Cats have been underwhelming since they sat 5-0 (last week doesn’t count ). The speed of the Suns will worry them – especially with Varcoe playing bits and pieces of games.

  3. Skip of Skipton says

    Cats will be set for this one; wanting to rectify their crap interstate form.

    Full strength midfield with Johnson and Christensen back. Concentrate on winning own ball and out-gunning them, not beating Ablett. Debutants from last week back to the reserves.

    Maybe Kersten gets his chance after booting 6 last week. Keep Walker as second ruck/forward and play only one of Simpson/McIntosh.

  4. Cookie – GC are on the Perth trip rebound. Maybe they’ll run out of legs?

  5. MGLFerguson says

    Concur with Cookie about the speed of the Suns, particularly in the midfield, which is where the Cats have especially seemed a step slow to me all year in getting all the way in to contests. I feel pretty good about the Cats at each end of the field though Taylor seems likely to miss with his knee tweak from the Saints game

  6. The ample chest will pale into insignificance beside that of Anthony William Brownless who will probably be on an adjoining lounge at The Aria as we attempt to nut out Saturday’s Quaddie.

    It would be appropriate for nobody other than No 29 to go to Ablett !

    There is a real danger of a tardy start from the Cats after enjoying a soft walkover last week and may not be primed for battle.

    Yes, J Harms – the $2.70 on offer about the Suns will necessitate strong consideration !

  7. But J. Dunne, what can the Geelong Racing Club learn from the Gold Coast precinct: the Tweed Heads trots, the Parkland trots? Surely you’d have to get a limo up to Redcliffe?

    PS Ridiculous use of future tense re the Suns price J Dunne.

  8. Cats are specials. Anything better than $1.40 is huge overs.
    Hawkins will monster their defence. Kennedy and McGovern (2 games) did last week.
    Dixon and Lynch are good up forward so Lonergan and Taylor need to be on their game.
    The key (as ever) is win the clearances, and stop the ball getting into them. Naitanui and Lycett (10 games) monstered Zac Smith who was hopeless all game and Charlie Dixon had to rescue him in the rucks after half time (which detracted from their forward set up).
    If they get outside ball the Suns have great spread and talented runners, so the key is the inside midfielders to stop them getting it outside. Kelly, Johnson etc should be up to that. Selwood doesn’t look fit at the moment.
    The Eagles rotated various people on Ablett (mainly Wellingham and 10 gamer Hutchings). They held him to 11 largely ineffective disposals to half time, but nothing could contain him when they got the ball outside in the second half.
    Obviously you have to harass Ablett, but the key is stopping the primary access to easy ball at the clearances.
    Cats by 40 pts +.

  9. Sadly, J Harms both Tweed Heads and Parkland trots have been thrust aside in the name of progress, high rise apartments and Gold Coast University campus respectively.

    I will be researching the Gold Coast Turf Club at its meeting on Sunday.

    PS You know me too well

  10. Like the look of the side selected. Can Kersten and Walker play in the same team?

  11. Skip of Skipton says

    They’ve played together in the VFL a fair bit!

    Kersten isn’t a cumbersome brute, more a medium sized forward. Walker to do second ruck duties. Blicavs mainly down back to help cover Taylor’s absence.

    That’s the plan.

  12. See above

  13. This game explains why I no longer punt. It was not the same Gold Coast midfield that I saw last week.
    Still Geelong will be better when they get Kelly, Bartel and Varcoe back. Ask not for whom the bell tolls……………

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