AFL Round 13 – Collingwood v Western Bulldogs: Natural Justice

It’s been a few weeks since I’ve written anything about the Doggies. In that time, I’ve watched a Gold Cost game where the bloke sitting next to me forensically went through why all the Bulldogs recruiting had been wrong and they needed to start from scratch. It was depressingly convincing. A Dockers game I remember nothing about, and last week’s game against the Lions that was so bad I left at half time and caught the train back to Sunshine station, only to find that the back wheel had been stolen off my pushbike. I trudged home in the freezing cold, cursing football, the Western Suburbs and anything that combined the two.

Meanwhile, my former team the Bombers had been hanging into the 8 by the skin of their teeth. Then Jobe went down. There’s no player I love at the Bulldogs like I still love Jobe. Then the show cause notices. I felt quite guilty when I heard that news. The main reason I’d forsaken the Bombers is because they refused to take responsibility for what they’d done to the players. Now it seemed like the players could be forced to take responsibility and if they copped 2-year bans, basically destroy the club. The team I’d abandoned had looked top four, now another season was sputtering out. It was all pretty grim.

By silent agreement none of my Bulldogs mates or I had decided to go the Collingwood game. After last week, what was the point?

The first quarter is lively, fast moving, both teams look sharp. Towards the end, scores are level and Bruce says something about the Bulldogs having plenty of good first quarters this year. Let’s not get too excited.

I see on Twitter that Gerard Whateley is going to interview Essendon President Paul Little at 4pm. I watch the 2nd quarter whilst listening to the interview. It’s a strange experience. Little is talking tough about the injustice befalling Essendon as I watch a slow motion replay of Libba being mauled by three Collingwood thugs. Liam Jones chases hard and lays a brilliant tackle, as Whateley asks why James Hird is joining in the Federal Court appeal. Cloke kicks a goal as Little continues the corporate spin about the principled stand they are taking. Some bloke wearing number 25 for the Bulldogs keeps bobbing up, and, as Whateley is comparing the Essendon case to the Lance Armstrong case, he kicks his 3rd goal. I flick the sound back to the game, and what a joyous, pulsating game it is. There’s some hope here for the Bulldogs, and some of their supposedly dud recruits are starting show a bit of something. I keep Paul Little switched off.

In the 3rd quarter, Bontempelli, the young bloke with the World Cup worthy name and nose, and the one player all Doggies fans believe in, kicks his first goal. It’s a crucial one and a heart swelling moment and his teammates ruffle his hair and hug him. At the other end Jamie Eliot, a classic model lairy little Collingwood tip rat, too scrawny for his stupid tattoos, is keeping them in the match. For the Doggies it’s the suave and debonair Giansiracusa getting it done at the end of the 3rd.

The young and the maligned keep the Doggies in front all through the last but Cloke continues to monster them up forward. With a couple to minutes to go it seems like the eternally evil Magpies might triumph over all that is right in the world. After the last few weeks it’s pretty much what I expect to happen. But then, a turnover, a fast break and the ball ends up in the hands of Tutt, another of the “unfulfilled talent” brigade. He slots it through beautifully and a stunning upset is complete. Channel 7 cuts straight to the news, denying Bulldog fans the natural justice of watching the boys sing the song. One for the Federal Court I reckon.


  1. Reward at last. Well played Joefloh, Neil, Crio, Gigs, Cowshed and the rest of the long suffering. I got more of a thrill out of the Bulldogs and Demons win than from my Eagles win. The despised enemy factor played a large part. Much easier to hate the Bombers and Magpies than the Schoolies.
    Joefloh – loved your line about tiprats and tatts. Describes more Magpies players and fans than just Elliott.
    Yvette – your intro about Paul Little “stealing” himself was great. For other clubs “steeling” may have been the word, but not in Essendon’s case.

  2. cowshedend says

    Joe, love it.
    one thing though, you have brought your western suburbs cred into question… left your bike at Sunshine station??????
    Like leaving your dog in charge of the leg of lamb

  3. Yes, I fear the good burghers of Sunshine have let me down this time.

  4. Neil Anderson says

    I reckon I got just about the same joy seeing that Melbourne win…especially after tipping them.
    Talk about getting the double. Already high watching the Doggies win I was able to see the Demon underdogs …under-devils? get up.
    I had non-footballing visitors on Sunday so could only record the Bulldogs match. I switched it on at five to six just in time to see King Tutt take a mark and kick the winning goal. I really thought I’d entered some strange parallel -universe where everything is turned on it’s head.
    If I was writing a report it would be headlined…’Irrelevance That!!

  5. Yvette Wroby says

    Hi boys, the stealing was deliberate, for once not a spelling error!

  6. E.regnans says

    Good onya Joefloh.
    I neither saw nor heard a minute of this one.
    J Elliott a classic model lairy little Collingwood tip rat, too scrawny for his stupid tattoos?
    He’s a gun.
    Did he play alright? He does this fly-and-chase-and-smother-and-go-again-and-again-and-again-routine. Kicks straight, too.
    Heard he’s got a new wheel for his bike.

  7. Joe, I have your wheel. It is called revenge.

  8. What are you Gerry, a Collingwood tip rat or a Collingwood thug?

  9. I watched this game. It got me in. The Dogs willed themselves over the line. Tough effort against the young Pies who wilted on the run. Good to see the Dogs get home.

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