AFL Round 10 – West Coast v Richmond: The Giant stomps the Eagles

Dad likes to compare Richmond’s form since our creation to a sleepy giant. Sometimes the giant wakes and stays up for a while, which means a good performance, and there are times when the giant rolls over on its back, and snores deafeningly. Games like these normally mean an absolute spanking at the hands of a much better club and that’s the giant giving itself a good scratch while drinking a cup of instant coffee. Toward the end of 2011 and through 2012, Dad would usually proclaim ‘The giant is awakening’ after Richmond had given out a rare drubbing of a team. Melbourne or Hawthorn, it doesn’t matter, as long as the win is satisfying and has enough hype mounted on it.

But my head was clear of giants as the Monday (don’t get me started on Monday football) clash against the in-form Eagles side approached. I had actually thought about the impossible deed of tipping against my own team. The game wasn’t on free-to-air, the 774 Western Australian commentators were penciled in and my best mate Benny had tipped against us, and the guy can tip. My favourite player, Brandon Ellis, had twanged his hammy at training, and my jumper is still vacant of the number 5. The footy weekend was looking gloomy before I managed to win the Coodabeen Champions quiz, which Dad tentatively suggested writing all about in my Almanac post, instead of the actual Richmond game.

Ah, you of little faith!

So the dreaded 6 and a half hours spent sitting in a tiny plastic school chair had ended, and somehow, the footy is still blaring on the radio. Mythbusters is on, so I watch that until I hear the tinny, whining noise of a badly tuned radio cut through the air like a Trent Cotchin stab pass.

Fizz……Crackle……’Kennedy trots in to goal’……Fizzzz………Pop….’Eagles by 7’…..

Suddenly, Adam Savage shoving a dummy out a car door seems irrelevant. I race into my room, grab my MP3/radio from my coffee table, please be something….. 3AW!!!

The earplugs are hurriedly thrusted into my ears as Matty White puts through Richmond’s first. The commentators seem the type of people who just turn up to see an average ten goal win from the home team, due to the repeated conversations about how good West Coast look, and how Josh Kennedy has already imposed himself on the game. It’s true though, as Richmond are scoring, but through the radio, West Coast seem the better team, and they lead by a goal at the first break.

But all of a sudden, the radio seems to favour Richmond’s form. Cotch and Lids are in the packs, and Alex Rance is taking Kennedy out of the match. Titchy goals, Flossy Vlaustuin and King goal too, and in fact, it’s bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, as Richmond kick nine unanswered goals through the second and third quarters. Floss is having the game of his life, he’s already got two. Cotch is tagged, but is still his normal scintillating self. Lids is making the best of a Selwood-less life, AND JACK HAS JUST ONE! ONE!!

Priddis isn’t dragging his team back into the game like everyone expects he should. Dad’s face is a perfect representation of a disbelieving AFL fan with his inner brag-to-mates mode trying to force itself out. Mum is pretty sure I’m joking about the 46 point lead. Titch, Vlaustuin, King, Vlaustuin, Newman, Newman, Vickery, Martin, Riewoldt. That’s the last nine goal kickers for the game.

West Coast manage two on the trot, but clever Jack sets up Ty for his second, followed by a brilliant Vlaustuin snap has the lead out to 47. Jackson’s fluky goal that skips over a pack from 75 metres out seals the game. 50 points at 3 quarter time. Shane Edwards has been subbed off because of an errant finger in his eye.

West Coast look dead and buried, but, as you’d expect, the inner Richmond fan inside me is still nervous.

But Jack Riewoldt ends the worry, and I can finally relax. The giant is well awake, and romping around all over Western Australia. Edwards’ fantastic chase and tackle gifts him his first goal for the Tigers. He is mobbed by his teammates. Go Tigers! We are home!!

Compensation goals to Kennedy, Hill and S. Selwood save a little bit of pride for the West Coast, but the Tigers are the main focus here, and that giant down at Punt Road is definitely awake, and we all hope that he stays that way. We shall sing the song loudly.

We are back!

RICHMOND: 16.7 (103)

WEST COAST: 8.14 (62)


RICHMOND: Deledio, Vlastuin, Cotchin, Jackson, Rance, Martin, Morris, S.Edwards

WEST COAST: S. Selwood, Shuey, Hill, Masten, Naitanui


RICHMOND: Vlastuin 3, Riewoldt, Vickery, S.Edwards, Newman 2, White, Martin, A.Edwards, Jackson, King.

WEST COAST: Kennedy 3, Hill 2, S. Selwood, Darling, Kerr

VOTES: Cotchin 1, Deledio 2, Vlaustuin 3.

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