AFL Round 10 – Port Adelaide v Hawthorn: Chaddy Wingard and the Deathly Handballs

As we continue the nerdly education of our six year old, he settles down on the couch for his first ever watching of Harry Potter. Being ginger he clearly needs more help to become socially isolated when he reaches high school. The big TV taken, I retreat to the bedroom to watch another magical male. This one is called Chad.

When you think about it Harry Potter is clearly a Power man – he does have their logo engraved on his forehead after all. Much like him they have come from near the bottom of the ladder (well, the cupboard under the stairs in Harry’s case) and are on their way to defeat the forces of evil (Port will be playing Collingwood in Round 19 – no prizes for guessing who Voldemort is). Tonight Chad Wingard is clearly the Harry of the group. The Hoff makes for a passable Hagrid while, at a stretch, Kane Mitchell could have pulled off Hermione before his haircut. Sadly, with not a ginger in the squad, the role of Ron will have to go unfilled for the time being. Perhaps they could borrow Tom Lynch or Sam Jacobs from the Crows. Suggestions welcome for who to cast as Neville Longbottom, in my opinion the second most important character in the Harry Potter universe.

Tonight, in front of (as far as I can tell) the biggest Adelaide Oval footy crowd since the 1973 SANFL grand final (56,525 saw Glenelg beat North Adelaide 21.11 to 19.16) everything Chaddy Wingard touches is magic. As he kicks his first from outside 50 one minute in, the crowd reacts very much as it intends to for the rest of the evening – bloody loudly. Labouring the analogy to its extreme and confusing conclusion Hawthorn are Ravenclaw to Port’s Gryffindor – worthy but just not quite as good, tonight anyway. Chaddy sidesteps a couple and puts Port three goals up (foot candy, BT, really?) before Gunston brings it back to 11 at quarter time.

In the second quarter, leaving the analogy stumbling clumsily around the back of the grandstand, Port play this slingshot footy thing with flair. They absorb successive Hawthorn attacks and, when the opportunity presents, riskily run it through the centre for a quick Monfries goal. Next I can’t help but smile when Duryea angles his head to draw contact from Schulz but instead cops a perfect tackle, leading to another Port major. Then Chaddy is back into the action with a freakish hand pass over his head (the umpires choose not to guess that it was a throw) into the path of Gray for another. Power by 23 at the big break – the golden snitch is within reach.

It darts from view, however, soon after Wingard puts on another magic display. Lewis kicks consecutive goals making a strong case for leaving the goal kicker on the ground (they don’t bench the man with the hot hand in basketball) and Breust kicks his third to cut the Power lead to 7 points at the last change. There are a lot of Hawks fans at the the ground – you suspect quite a few have made a weekend of it and gone to see Crawf play his one-off for the Aldinga Sharks earlier in the day.

The last quarter pulsates very much the way the last quarter of Blues/Crows the next day does not. Port slings its shot or shoots its sling again and Hartlett goals. Wingard finally makes a mistake and misses but given his golden orbs it becomes a 7 point play. Puopolo and Gray do inspirational stuff in the tough places as Burgoyne kicks a couple for no other reason than to give the home crowd something to do. They get a bit more to do as the siren signals a 14 point win for Gryffindor.

Power clear on top of the ladder in what will be considered an unconvincing win given the cattle missing at Hawthorn. While not particularly special on the stats sheet, Chaddy Wingard is the brightest light on the ground if not providing the base load quality of Boak and Lewis. Port Adelaide live by the sword and will probably die by the sword at some stage during the finals series but boy it will be magic. Rucci asked Crows fans during the week if they would rather be Power fans at the moment… yep!

Our votes – 3. Boak, 2. Wingard, 1. Lewis

About Dave Brown

Upholding the honour of the colony. "Play up Norwoods!"


  1. Luke Reynolds says

    Entertaining read Dave. Wingard just one of many super talented, great to watch players at Port. What a wonderful turnaround from your club from where they were a few years back.

  2. Malcolm Ashwood says

    We’ll done , Dave very clever and entertaining read and the power are a genuine flag chance

  3. Nice work Dave. There is PAFC drafting principal which insists on there being at one enigmatic, supremely talented cult figure on the list called Chad. The Hoff as Hagrid; yep!
    Even in the other hemisphere BT does not work. Not funny, nor insightful, inappropriately self-assured. He is not even self-parodying with any great success. I doubt Kyle Sandilands has ever said anything as stupid as, “Foot candy.”

  4. ned_wilson says

    Lovely report Dave. The sorting hat certainly did Port a favour picking young Chad. Lock him in for All Australian (All Hogwardian?)

  5. Dave Brown says

    Thanks for the feedback gents.

    Sadly, Luke, I resemble the last line of the write up – a Crows fan who would happily follow the Power if the die were not already cast. At least it’s nice when my second team is so entertaining to watch.

    Absolutely, Malcolm. Pencil in a final at some stage in the first three weeks at Adelaide Oval too – won’t that be something!

    Yep, Mickey, could have written the whole thing on how bad the TV commentary was. Given BT bashing has become a national pastime of late I settled for a single swipe instead.

    Indeed, ned

  6. Luke Reynolds says

    A Crows fan with Port as his second team? Can’t be many like you Dave!!!

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