Round 1 – Richmond v Carlton: 37 minutes < burnt mocha


19:00 – 19:08


M15, around row Z. Four Tiges. Hoodies, jumpers, beanies, caps.
“Are you filming?”
“Yeah. I’m filming, you might have to start though, I’m low on space.”
“Have you seen their flag in the Carlton cheer squad?”
“Nuh…oh that’s shit.”
We agree it is shit.
“Bloody Carlton.”
“Goddamn Carlton”
We hate Carlton in M15.


Old mate approaches from around M16 or thereabouts.
“Hey mate, are these your seats?”
“You sure?”
“Absolutely, tiger. Look, here’s my membership.”
“Alright. Can we just sit in these three? We’re spread all over the shop.”
“No dramas mate. Go Tiges.”
“Go Tiges.”


“Look, there’s Peggy.”
“God, we love her.”
“Yes we do.”
The bloke behind agrees.
“We love you, Peggy!”
“We all love you, Peggy!”
Peggy says Go Tiges, we agree that this is good.
“Go Tiges.”
“How good is that flag.”
“How good is being Premiers, boys!?”


About 19:16


“How about you chase some more GWS spuds, SOS?”
“Aw, Kennedy’s alright.”
“Could you tell the differences between the songs?”
“Not really.”
“It’s a bit barbershop.”


19:25, first bounce, a clearance.


“Oh Dustin Martin, you are the love of my life.”
“God amongst men.”
“Three votes, D.Martin.”


But, 19:28 (C.Curnow (Carl), 1.0)


“Curnow, bloody hell.”
“Bit of Kouta ’bout this boy.”
“What was Nank doin’?”


Then, 19:29 (Z.Fisher (Carl), 1.0)


“50? Bullshit.”
“Who is Zac Fisher?”
“We knew they would come out hard. Their Grand Final, lads. All downhill from here.”
“Who is Zac Fisher?”


And, 19:34 (C.Curnow (Carl), 2.0)


“Curnow is going to be a problem.”
“We’re too small forward.”
“We’re missing Nathan Broad. Never thought I’d say that.”
“Who is the maggot in no.3?”
“Leigh Fisher.”
“Any relation to Zac?”
“I don’t reckon.”
“You sure?”


19:35 (J.Garlett (Carl), 1.0)


“Only bloody Richmond. Richmond-y as they come.”
“Didn’t Jarrod Garlett retire?”
“Need to step up, Duz. Vlas has looked slow.”
“I’m sure he retired.”


Finally, 19:37 (M.Wright (Carl), 1.0)


“Shaun bloody Grigg…”
“A step slow.”
“A metre slow…”
“Wright won’t kick this.”
“Bloody hell.”
“Only Richmond, matey.”
“This game, man.”


23:45 – Richmond 17.19 (121) beat Carlton 15.5 (95)


“So, I reckoned a mocha – balances out the burnt beans.”
“Any good?”
“Not a chance.”
“Good win?”
“Gooood win.”
“Only the Tiges would drop five goals in the first quarter after winning the bloody flag.”
“Only Richmond. How good is footy.”
“How good.”
“Do we beat the Crows next week?”
“I dunno.”
“Go Tiges.”
We agree that the Tiges are OK.



  1. John Butler says

    Ah well. It was fun while it lasted, Paddy.

    But this one will be resumed.


  2. JBanister says

    Vintage. Looking forward to tomorrow night.

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