2013 – A Season in Song: Round 12 – Poor Form and Disillusionment / Early Retirement

Perennial headline maker M Malthouse gave the officials bit of a spray after the Friday night game against the eventual premiers.

I turned that rant into this, but once more, it didn’t make the cut.

I then decided that I had better things to do with my Tuesday (if it wasn’t raining) and Thursday nights, so I retired prematurely (so prematurely that the coach didn’t notice)

Bamboozled (Tom Dooley, Kingston Trio version)

On the Coodabeens
There’ve been may songs written about the infernal umpires
This one tells the story of  Mickey Malthouse, three men in green
And a club that is bamboozled
When the sun rises tomorrow, bamboozled they’ll still be

I’m a little bit, bam-boozled
About players who get hit high
I’m a little bit, bam-boozled
As our captain on a stretcher lies

It seems that if you’re tackled
You can do what you like
No need for correct disposal
It’s “play on” all night

I’m totally, bam-boozled
We were crucified tonight
I’m totally, bam-boozled
14-4 after half time

Looking back in anger
As subject I’ll still broach
Hadn’t a-been for Eddie
I’d still be the ‘Pies coach

I’m thoroughly, bam-boozled
I won’t let sleeping dogs lie
I’m thoroughly, bam-boozled
I’ll be cranky ’til I die

About Mark 'Swish' Schwerdt

Saw my first SANFL game in 1967 - Dogs v Peckers. Have only ever seen the Dogs win 1 final in the flesh (1972 1st Semi) Mediocre forward pocket for the AUFC Blacks (1982-89) Life member - Ormond Netball Club -That's me on the right


  1. Swish,
    Any word on when the ‘family of tossers’ will be ready for publication? Christmas must have given you plenty of time to research the family history.
    I’m looking forward to it.

  2. Mickey Randall says

    Lots of good stuff in your collection. A magnus opus of brief and varied tunes like Magnetic Fields 69 Love Songs is coming.

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