The Ashes – First Test: Rulebook comes off the long run

 

 

 

 

We have just watched a bizarre Test match staggeringly won by the Aussies in two days.

 

Day 1

On Friday we baby sit and for the first time ever. Olly wanted to stay with me in the playground while Emma took Sam to work. That was a first and for me, bigger than the Ashes!

I did make sure I had a radio with me to follow England’s innings and watched the highlights later. Incredible by Starc, very good by Doggett (rapt for Brendan as a fiercely parochial South Aussie I can’t deny that his 11 wickets in the Shield final for us to reclaim the holy grail after 29 years will always remain his biggest achievement personally. Boland, unusually, bowled a poor length and struggled. Green only bowled one over, but it was important, removing Pope.

England’s batting lacked application and common sense.

I was just about to go to The Payneham Tavern to watch us bat when Jake Weatherald was given out. I was more than bemused that DRS thought the ball was heading in that direction. Quite a few years ago, Kerry O Keeffe said that he thought the DRS was a drunk and stoned uni student I’m yet to disagree with that sentiment.

At the Tavern we watched our batting dismantled by a fantastic bowling performance by England. They bowled in partnerships and gave very little away, aided by some poor shots, in particular sadly by the South Aussies in Travis Head and Alex Carey.

So Day 1 ended. After only making 172, England had Australia 9-123 and were well on top.

 

Day 2

With the wet weather in Adelaide, local cricket is cancelled. With umpiring duties no longer I decided to go to pubs to encourage folk to buy a particular book. Just trying to help them with their Christmas shopping.

I’m back at The Payneham Tavern watching England bat and the ball before lunch that same uni student is back giving Duckett not out lbw off Boland. For DRS to say that pitched outside leg was bizarre. The smile and slight shake of the head by the umpire said it all.

The fact that Duckett had been struck and received treatment and then the DRS review meant the over took 12 minutes is bloody ridiculous. That’s putting it mildly.

So England go to lunch at 1-for with a lead of 99 and in complete control
(bizarrely, just over four hours later the game was over with Aust winning. That is still mind boggling. Wonder what the odds were at lunch?)

England’s batting after lunch was idiotic, moronic, ignorant, arrogant and mind-boggling and even that’s putting it mildly! Duckett dismissed by Boland was a good ball (following a Crawley pair, awesome caught and bowled by Starc)

Pope, Brook and Root were all trying to be insanely aggressive, staggerling, and drive on the up. Hello! We’re playing in Perth. Is there anyone in the world (well the seemingly

English) who didn’t understand the ball bounces and you can’t hit on the up consistently. As Boof Lehmann said, don’t cover drive in Perth especially until you have settled and got in to the groove of a innings!

Smith’s dismissal! Hell, if the game is stopped for 7 minutes to try to come to a decision, it surely must end up not out – there was still doubt! Was it a combination of third umpire, DRS and Smith starting to walk? Conclusion: yet another bizarre highlight-lowlight of the game.

While the bumper barrage caused England to collapse in the first innings losing 5/12, we gave away a few runs in the Poms’ second dig.

Line and length and their hurry curry, helter skelter batting was working for us. Why change?

Australia had to reshuffle through Uzzie not being able to open. Back spasms.

Now you miss the last Shield game before the First Test due to injury yet decide playing 18 holes of golf the day before the game is ok – huh? Yes, they are adults but not thought through by the Australian coaching panel or the player (yes, I admit Uzzie lost me forever attending the Grand Prix in Melbourne last season instead of being at the Shield game trying to help the banana benders qualify for the final v SA. Mmmmm.)

Travis Head’s innings was…UNBELIEVABLE. It was a where-were-you moment like Armstrong on the moon, the Lennon assassination, the removal of Gough etc.

Even then though -Travis played himself in first before he went berserk – KAPOW.

Well supported by Jake Weatherald (absolutely rapt for Jake) when the squad was first announced I messaged his cousin, Tim https://www.footyalmanac.com.au/tim-weatherald-footballer-mentor-bali-survivor/

Tim was pumped and was part of the Weatherald clan who attended the Test.

I enjoyed Tom Moody’s thoughts and contributions on the ABC. It was interesting re his call to leave out Lyon for Webster because the way -England bat doesn’t give the opportunity for a specialist offie to tie up an end and contribute in that manner Webster seam up, batting and his offies were a better alternative. I concur.

So off to Brisbane. Somehow the Aussies are one-up. And they won by 8 wickets!

Does Cummins play at the Gabba? Does Nesser come in for the pink-ball Test remembering his two Tests have been in Adelaide in the same situation.

Surely that’s it for Uzzie? Does Travis open? Does Renshaw come in?

 

The full Cricinfo scoreboard is HERE.

 

To read more on the 2025-26 Ashes series click here.

 

 

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