Almanac Life: The Belligerent Seagull

 

 

 

I’ve always been one who loved Looney Tunes cartoons. I remember as kids we would discuss and act out the respective antics of Foghorn Leghorn, Daffy Duck and The Coyote in the playground a day after watching them on TV.

 

My favourites were Daffy, Foghorn, Sylvester and The Coyote, if only for their capacity to fail and pick themselves up almost immediately, with what little dignity they had left.

 

That spirit would reflect in my own life as I became a jack of all trades, master of none. My favourite quote being from Peter Cook’s lunatic blue-blood character Sir Arthur Greeb-Streebling, “I have learned from my mistakes, and I’m sure I can repeat them exactly.”

 

The adult equivalents to Looney Tunes on TV would become Basil Fawlty, David Brent and George Costanza who still make me cringe with laughter to this day.

 

As a footy coach I always impressed on the players to strive for their personal best, have a crack and don’t be afraid to make mistakes. How you respond to mistakes is the most important thing.

 

On our recent trip to Robe we bumped into a couple of seagulls whose determination couldn’t be questioned and despite making the mistake of venturing out in cyclonic conditions, responded valiantly.

 

Robe is a peninsular of sorts. Sandstone cliffs exposed to a roaring Southern Ocean and a bay, pretty much protecting the main township, a bit like Portsea.

 

On our final day we picked a gap in what had been intermittent poor weather to go for a last 5km walk. We thought we would start on the Southern Ocean side this time and it would prove to be our undoing.

 

Apocalyptic black clouds appeared over the sea as we approached the cliffs and then the wind went from nothing to 60km an hour in a heartbeat. One second we were watching the spectacular sight of rain coming across the water, then in an instant it was like shards of glass hitting our faces.

 

There was literally no cover. We ran to a car park that had a couple of metal signs nailed to a fence so we pushed our backs against the signs, bent our knees and hung on.

 

Suddenly out of nowhere appeared two seagulls. They were clearly desperate for food and they were copping the storm’s onslaught right in front of us.

 

One of them who we will call Shirley, had her feet in a puddle so that her feet were almost cemented into the sandstone and water mixture, reasonably secure.

 

The one closest to us who we will call Trevor, only had sand for grip and his legs started splaying in order to resist the wind and rain. We hadn’t seen a seagull with that level of flexibility before and it made us both admire Trev’s work and had us pissing ourselves laughing.

 

It had us imagining the seagull conversation being had:

 

“ Trev have they got any food?”

 

“How the hell would I know? I can’t see! The rain’s killin’ me”

 

“How about you harden up and take some responsibility for the family just this once?”

 

“That’s easy for you to say Shirl, legs all safe and sound. If I spread me legs any further I’ll do the splits!”

 

“I’m bloody hungry Trev. Get closer and give them a spray.”

 

“That would mean moving my wings Shirl. The slightest change to my current aerodynamics will see me blow backwards towards Mt Gambier!”

 

“They’re going Trev. They’ve given us nothin’. Give ‘em a squark, feathers up.”

 

“Squaarrrk!”

 

Seagulls have that pugnacious attitude that has helped them survive countless confrontations with picnic goers and the occasional cigarette butt getting thrown at them.

 

I’m sure Trev and Shirl moved on quickly to another unsuspecting couple as soon as the weather improved. They won’t remember us but we will always have fond memories of them.

 

 

More from Ian Wilson can be read Here.

 

 

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