Time to reload 2016 with the Monkey

January is normally a period of optimism, new beginnings, new plans, New Years resolutions.

January 2016 has created a few pot holes in my road of optimism and has caused me to sit back in neutral and wonder what the heck is going on.

First we had the entertainment deaths and tributes, Natalie Cole (technically died 2015 but announced January 1), Bowie, Lemmy, Alan Rickman and lately Glenn Frey.

Then we had the Bombers 34 sentencing and most recently investigation into corruption in South African Cricket and Tennis.

Dick Smith, Masters and Home and Hardware are facing uncertain futures and today I read that Brazil is facing a deep recession that is affecting all aspects of the Olympics, including a decision to scrap plans for a grandstand at the rowing venue. Obviously bring your own chairs!

Only about half of the 4.5 million Olympic tickets aimed at the domestic audience have been sold. Here’s a tip, release them to International markets and not corporate!

I have my flights and accommodation booked for Rio but was unable to acquire any tickets to the sports I wanted to watch due to a  limited and restricted allocation for Australia, especially in the track cycling, the one event I am travelling to Rio for. If I go to the UK website I see there are tickets available for this event and also the local Rio site, but I cannot purchase them (that’s another story).

So what’s happening World?

Football and the success of my team is the barometer for my emotional well being. I can forget the ills of this World as long as the Swans are competitive.

At the start of every new football season, all teams have a chance; hope springs eternal. Every team is equal, although true to form some teams are more equal than others (sorry Bombers).

Will season 2016 be another Hawkish year or is it hawkwash? Can someone please pluck those Hawk feathers or encourage Clarko to change clubs?

I can’t take much more of this January, please let it end.

To carry me through, I have decided to adopt Chinese New Year as my new beginning and the foundation for my season.

The Year of the Monkey!

Monkey ranks ninth position in the Chinese Zodiac. They are cheerful and energetic by nature and usually represent flexibility. People under the sign of the Monkey are wise, intelligent, confident, charismatic, loyal, inventive and have leadership.

The weaknesses of the Monkeys are being egotistical, arrogant, crafty, restless and snobbish.

Maybe it is the Year of the Hawk!

I did read with note that Monkeys do not get on with Tigers and Snakes. Richmond fans take note.

None of this makes any sense to me, born in the year of the Ox, so what are my predictions for this year?

“Monkey is connected to the wind. The mountain of Ox blocks the path of the wind. Ox can teach Monkey to be patient. Monkey can learn to have careful consideration instead of impulse or irritation from Ox. Also, Ox can provide a stable and warm place for Monkey. Ox is very diligent and responsible. But Ox is too quiet and too inactive. Monkey can push Ox to take more initiative actions. Monkey can act as the agent or speaker of Ox for the social affairs.”

None of this implies that the Swans will prosper this year, only that I am here to teach monkey patience.

Is this a reference to Chimp, our own Bobby Skilton? How can I teach him patience he is the Yoda to my Luke.

Monkey pushes Ox to take more initiative actions. OK I will sign up for new membership as soon as I see the Swans invest in that signature rebounding backline. I miss Malceski and Mattner and yes I will also miss Shaw.

What year was Gary Rohan born in I wonder? It’s his time to become the spring in our back half.

Actually Gary was born in 1991, the year of the sheep. His forecast for the year of the monkey is interesting reading “As long as you want to work harder for the coming opportunity, the fame and fortune will come to you.” OK Gary, time to put in the hard yards, another candidate for DA McDonnell to mentor.

So maybe this is the start that I have been looking for.

It’s the best for now.

May your 2016 improve and that the Monkey presides over your good fortune.

Go Swans!

About David Parker

A keen observer of all things sport and a Swans tragic, David likes to dabble in sporting documentaries including the Max Bailey doco for Fox Footy. David is currently filming a documentary on the Australian Cycling Men's Team Pursuit squad as they prepare for the 2016 Rio Olympics.


  1. Keiran Croker says

    Go Swans!
    I agree that Gazza needs to go back to help form a new rebounding defence perhaps with Jones, Newman, Cunningham, etc..
    I am bullish or it that oxish about the year ahead David!

  2. Swans to miss the 8. Longmire out. Warrington bitter.

  3. george smith says

    Of course the real Monkey spent his entire lifetime poncing around India and China with Tripitaka, Sandy and Piggsy seeking enlightenment.

    Kind of like the Swans spent an entire lifetime, 72 years, waiting for that elusive premiership. It makes our 32 years of torment seem like kids stuff. However, the joy of 2005 was overwhelming, and dare I say it, the Monkey is off your back!

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