FOR THE PHILOSOPHICAL MARNGROOK FAN
What a week it’s been in Footy Eddie. We welcome the Gold Coast Chopping Blocks to Football at the Elite Level and The Saints’ Crap Riewoldt lines up against his cousin Jumping Jack Tiger. The Socceroos beat their nemesis Deutschland 2-1 in a friendly over there and India and Sri Lanka line up over the weekend to determine bragging rights for the World Cup of Cricket as Punter hands over the Saggy Greens to Pup.
But enough of my gabbin, let’s see who’s going to be feeling kinda blue after Round II.
St Kilda v Richmond on the Big Stage to open proceedings. The Tiges are looking to break a 13 match-losing streak against The Feeling Faints tonight. Neither side impressed last week and the whips would have been out during the week. Richmond played one quarter of Football and were leading at the Last Huddle, due as much to Carlton’s poor shooting on goal as their blazing Championship Quarter. The Culture Club have had a troubled pre-season and hardly looked like a September Contender against The Pussies. The shootout between the Riewoldt cousins will be a highlight, but the Tiges haven’t shown enough yet to warrant the nod. They have lost Rance for three weeks due to an undisciplined outburst against the glass jawed Waite. The terrier Jake King replaces him. The Sainters have dropped McQualter to bring in Archer. The Saints, but not with a lot of confidence. Keep your hands in your pockets and be prepared for surprizes. This Punt Road Mob could explode. (Don’t you mean go bang! Wrap – Ed)
The Shinboners v The Maggies under cover at the traditional time. The Pies looked hot last week and the Black&White Army is on the march again. Their goal scoring power is truly awesome and they seem to be playing a more disciplined style of football since Captain Brownlow became assistant coach. They have pace and team ethos to burn. The Norsemen have regained the Beanpole Goldstein, Grima and the Veteran Petrie, while there are no changes at the Lexus Centre. The Shinboners will throw everything including the gasometer at them, but they’ll be outgunned on the day. The Woodsmen for us here in the Wraproom.
Port Adelaide v West Coast at Footy Park on Saturday Arvo. The Power had their plug pulled last week by TRP. No great disgrace, but hardly confidence building. The Coasters hung tough to take the points over in Perth and will be keen to show they mean business in 2011. They’ve lost La Cras & Masten and dropped Hams. On the plus side they’ve regained Daniel Kerr, McGinnity and The Nat. The Hosts were another team that suffered cruelly from last round. Their main avenue to goal – Jaye Schultz – is probably out for the season and they’ve brought in the aging Chad Cornes. We’re tempted to go for The Homeside in this one. The sight of the Cornes brothers buried away in attack would normally be a worrying sign, but they’ll be a wily par to contain all day. And La Cras leaves too large a gap in the Weagles’ attack. The Power to Win in the Grand Port Adelaide Tradition.
The Meter Maids v The Silvertails on The Gabba for Saturday night’s Channel Rove match. The Suns trot out one or three household names and the first ruck of Fraser, Swallow and Ablett could spring a few surprizes. The Bluebaggers brought in New Boy Watson for his debut and left out Lucas. A fairy tales start would be great for the gnomes buried deep in the vault at Jellymont House, but wishes don’t make winners and we’re going with The Miseries up under the palms. And at $1.22 they look about right.
The Wharfies v The Handbags at Paterson’s Curse on Saturday night. Don’t know how the selectors can load Joel Selwood on the team bus for the trip across the Nullarbor after his sickening collision with Farren Ray last week, but they must know what they’re doing down at the Corio Oval Medical Room. They’ve lost the undisciplined Scarlett and regained Captain Ling, Chappie & the jPod. The Barry Crockers dropped Pitt to bring in DeBoer. The Bagmen favour The Homeside, but we’re going for The Visitors. More scoring power and greater midfield grunt. Mind you, if Freo get the ball out wide or over the wall they appear to have greater leg speed. Scarlett will be sorely missed and Long Tom Lonergan in the defending goalsquare would have to be a bit of a worry. And that’s right all you Sleepy Hollow Stalwarts, at $2.10, Geelong are the Wrap Roughie of The Round. And yes, you’d have to go back to the previous Century to find the last time they carried that salacious epitaph.
The Bulldogs v Brisbane at The Dumb early on the Sunday. The Lions could justly claim that you don’t have to be dead to be stiff after last week’s narrow loss to Freo and the loss of their Captain and Spiritual Leader as well as the half handy Staker for 8-10 weeks. They’ve brought in Polec &McCauley to replace them. The Dogs replace the injured Wood with Wallis. The Dishlickers should open their account for Season 2011. And at $1.13 it’s The Wrap Sure Fire Thing for The Round. We’re putting next week’s rent on it as well.
Sydney v Essendon at the new Olympic Park on Sunday arvo. The Bombers sit astride the Premiership Table after Round I yet go up to the Harbour City as underdogs. Their opponents kicked off with a lucky draw. I hate to admit it Wrappers, but I have a sinking feeling The Northern Scum are BIT. Dismiss the Bomber Revival at your peril. True, they’re not playing the Flaky Kennel Coughs this week, but they’ll still bring home the bacon. They join The Moggies as joint Wrap Roughie of The Round.
Hawthorn v Melbourne at The G for the Sunday twilight game. The Mayblooms have regained their Captain & Spiritual Leader, the rugged Guerra & Xavier Ellis, a previous Peter Crimmins Medal holder. The Fuchsias recall Frawley, Spencer & Warnock for the encounter. The Hawks went to sleep last week and Coach Clarko will have been pumping them full of caffeine all week and be handing out the no-doze on matchday. The Bagmen have The Redlegs out at $2.90 which, if you think Melbourne can win, may be attractive. But they won’t, and they can’t. The Squawkers are terrific value at $1.38 and we’ll the office biscuit money on them.
Good tipping and even better punting.
And remember, if you read it in The Wrap you’ll know it’s not crap.
About John Mosig
I'm an Aussie Rules tragic who can remember, as a four year old, shaking the hand of Captain Blood in the rooms just before he ran out onto the ground after half time, as my Old Man slipped him a packet of under-the-counter Craven A cork tipped. Now it's my turn to take my grandson Ben through the ritual of character building that is the journey through PUNT ROAD to the outside world.
TW, I fear a GC ambush looming. Hope you’re right.
Geelong is a tough one. Is a big fast ground the right venue to bring back Ling and Chappy? Mind, the Dockers are missing a few.
Are the Bombers for real? Or were the Dogs just shocking?
Wrapster – wrap your wrappings around the wrapped up ratbags at ratpack central called St Kilda – Tigers in a boil over!!
I have an inkling the Tiges are ready, but not a strong feeling Dips. Don’t worry, the Wrap Loungeroom will be decked in the Yellow&Black of Struggletown, the mallee roots blazing in the hearth and the cheese board laid out with a dry Northern English tasty with a pinot noir breathing gently beside it. Hope you’re right. Eat ’em Alive Tigers.
This will be a test for The Moggies JB. They used up a life last week, but I’m on the New Geelong bandwagon down there at Ford City. Don’t worry about the Gilded Coasters, Juddy should be able to lead his Bluebaggers to victory up there. And I’m afraid the Gliders have wound up the elastic band. But you’re right, the Dogs were disgraceful.
Wrap,
I’ll be at Subi.
32 degrees and not a cloud in the sky.
I reckon Freo might run over the Cats in the last.
Looking forward to it.
Been here a few days. Haven’t seen a cloud yet.
In fact, hasn’t rained for 56 days.
Cheers,
Lennox Walker
Flynny – is it true that Mooney and Lonergan won’t play? (and Selwood of course).
It’s looking more and more like The Stevedores, eh?
JB, I just read Wallsie’s piece on why Juddy is so much more value than Gazza Jnr. They’ve got it pinned up in the locker room down at Cararra. Wallsie still smarting from being sacked from Carlton?
Wallsie is still smarting from being wallsie….
surely North Melb with the line are worth a shot?
Judd to get 50 plus possessions?
JM, sacked or not, Wallsie’s officially a legend now.
No matter your wrap sheet, we always forgive and forget at Princes Park. :)
Flynny, enjoy.
Though I doubt that will be a problem.
Cheers JB,
Correct re Geelong outs.
Thought I’d just caught a lift with Lingy.
Turns out it was S Hooker.
John,
I came (independently) to the same conclusion as you about the joint wrap “roughie of the round”, and was spitting chips at Essendon’s failure to get the job done. Obviously the Bombers’ carrying my money, given my loathing of them, was too much of a burden.
Alovesupreme,
One branch of our family is deeply devoted to the Whingy Hill Scum. It was worth losing the money – especially as The Cats got home for us.
BTW, to whom is your love supreme devoted?