“Spending nearly five months away from cricket, I’ve missed that competitive side of the game,” MJ Clarke said on Sunday.
“I think it’s in my blood, I love the game of cricket, and I always have.”
==
– Did you see that from yer Michael Clarke?
– He wants to play on.
– Thinks he’s Michael J Fox in that movie.
– Back to the Future.
– Clearly suffering, though.
– Deluded.
– Terrible.
– New baby at home.
– Relevance deprivation syndrome.
– Massive drop in talk-home pay.
– Still.
– He needs a hand.
– Does he?
– Some ideas.
–
– For retirement.
– Oh, right. Like lawn bowls. That’s competitive.
– It is. So is Supercoach, I understand.
– Or harness racing.
– Yes, or Ballroom dancing. You’ve seen Strictly Ballroom, haven’t you?
– That’s good. Ballroom dancing. I can see that.
– Or the most global game of all; Association Football.
– Huh?
– Soccer. Look at Elyse Perry. She represents Australia in both soccer and cricket. Dominates.
– He probably doesn’t want to risk comparison there. Maybe something others haven’t tried.
– Yeah; there’s the luge. There’s always a fringe Winter Olympic sport to try.
– What about Backgammon?
– That’s not a Winter Olympic sport yet.
– No. But it’s competitive.
– Like woodchopping.
– Like talent quest singing.
– Like finding a home loan.
– Like finding the best electricity provider.
– Like welding.
– Like every-bloody-thing. Let’s face it; just about everything is competitive in this capitalist world.
– I guess that Channel 9 commentary box just isn’t competitive or matey enough.
– Hmm.
– He was brilliant though, wasn’t he?
– He was. He had some sunny days.
– Many of them.
– Many.
– Yet curiously described by insiders.
– It is curious.
– What were MJ Clarke’s words of wisdom again?
– “I’ve missed that competitive side of the game”
– He needs an outlet. Yer man needs an outlet.
– An outlet.
– Writing?
– Howabout reading.
– Both.
– I like it.
– Let’s start a book club.
– The MJ Clarke Competitive Side of the Game Memorial Book Club.
– And invite him along.
– Love it.
– Pub setting?
– Leave it to him to set a venue, I reckon. Maybe online.
– Which book to start with?
– What would you say?
– The Hitch-Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy? Navigating space and time.
– Good call.
– The Riders? Drifting, searching for inexplicably lost love.
– Good call. We’ll give him options.
– Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland.
– Are you getting all these down?
– But how to contact yer man?
– Twitter, I’d say.
– And direct him here.
– To this very conversation?
– Why not? He can write here, too.
– Grand.
– Any other ideas to help the poor old skipper, give a shout.
– That’s you.
– That’s all of us.
About David Wilson
David Wilson is a hydrologist, climate reporter and writer of fiction & observational stories. He writes under the name “E.regnans” at The Footy Almanac and has stories in several books. One of his stories was judged as a finalist in the Tasmanian Writers’ Prize 2021. He shares the care of two daughters and likes to walk around feeling generally amazed. Favourite tree: Eucalyptus regnans.
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