Round 16 – Collingwood v St Kilda: Déjà vu all over again (Floreat Pica Society)

By Mark Mullins


Well, hello all. It is 22 hours after woke up early on night shift, and unexpectedly saw the terrifying YouTube video of Dustin Hoffman being prised of a tooth (well at least we know now that he’s a Pies supporter, cause I’m sure you’ve all heard the jokes about Collingwood supporters). Funny enough it reminded me of my first tooth removal three years ago…when I messaged all my Eagle supporting family the moment my feet touched the ground outside the clinic saying that was now a true Collingwood supporter.


Anyway, tired, so apologies if this goes astray. The video was awful, and I couldn’t watch the full clip, but I was actioned into signing up to write the match report.  This writing is based upon the music I was listening to on the day, and in the end I feel like it told a tale…one of uncertainty; of disbelief and anguish; one of frustration, and one of an amazing amount of familiarity.


The first song was ‘Trembling Hands’ by The Temper Trap, and immediately I thought that this summarised Callum Brown having a set shot at goal anywhere from 5 metres to 40 metres from goal, cause the kid has lost all confidence in front of the big sticks. Then the line ‘I’ve come here, to win you again’ resonated because feel that’s how the club should feel to us supporters after a piss poor last 12 months. The way we treated the players in the trade period was the least proud I’ve ever felt about our great club, and still leaves a bitter taste in my mouth.


Song 2 was The Eels ‘Mr E’s Beautiful Blues’, a bright and happy song. The two showed darkness and sunlight; good and bad; ying and yang. So, what would happen?


Many stats are direct from BT and 7 broadcasters, the first being Jack Crisp’s 156th  consecutive game, with only Jock McHale ahead of him with 191. He has been a great cheap pick up, and my crystal ball prediction of a B & F is a real chance.


Saints get the first goal, the next ours coming through a good crumbing Jamie Elliott snap after JDG and Adams link up in midfield. He’s a classy footballer, and when fit adds plenty to our mostly stagnant forward line. Sorry about the limited football input, but I’m running from my notes with no time for replay action to really pick the bones out of the game. Cameron missed a 25m set shot that needed to be kicked. He just doesn’t do the good things regularly enough for me, same as Big Cox, and let’s not mention Thomas, Magden, not so much lately Hoskin-Elliott nor The Brown Brothers (not the wine, the players).


Adams gets drilled in a shirt front that he doesn’t shirk to get the handball away, and you have to love the way he plays footy. Then something happens that I’ve never seen before…what was Sidey doing? Grundy takes a sliding mark on the wing and suspecting that it was touched, handballs to Steele (best name in sport winner) Sidebottom who takes a step, puts his hands up, which BT reckons players are asked to do if they don’t want to play on, then just drops the ball on the ground and runs off. WTF. Play on gets called, Saints gather and it leads to a goal. Shouldn’t a teammate make sure the ball gets handed back ASAP to the player awarded the free kick??????? Brad Hill is cutting us up, and possibly his 13th possession, classy work on the wing, leads to another goal.


Quarter time
Collingwood 1.2 (8)
St Kilda 3.1 (19)


The first half was not pretty to watch, with the beginning of the first having more ball ups and scrimmages than I’ve nearly seen before, and the second just not clean and classy stuff. It took The Saints six minutes to kick the first, with Roughead holding King for a legitimate free kick. He had saved a goal with a nice fist in the first, but certainly had a day he would like to forget afterwards. Between Mayne, Magden, Maynard, Roughead, Moore when he was playing, Noble and occasionally Quaynor, we usually kick out on the full, have shocking turnovers or just miss targets many times in all games, and we don’t kick enough goals to cover these mistakes. Elliott receives a free kick after a fumble, but misses a very gettable kick. Over the next few plays we at least play on and attack, bright footy like The Eels song mentioned previously. None of them lead to goals, with a Mayne handball missing target, an Elliott miss, and a Pendlebury forward entry all leading to 0 goals. But it’s better; and gives forwards the chance to create some magic. Mihocek has a really poor first 3 quarters, Cox keeps dropping marks, which leads to ironic cheers when he clunks a grab on the wing late in second quarter, and it’s just not happening for the Pies. BT states that we did not play on once in the first quarter, which is an incredibly poor stat. JDG misses another that needs to go through.


Half time
Collingwood 1.5 (11)
St Kilda 4.5 (29)


Saints should be further ahead, only one goal to half time, Pendlebury, JDG, Adams, Quaynor ok, Maynard very quiet and Crisp less effective than normal.


Hung the washing out during the break, and first song is ‘Landslide’ by Fleetwood Mac. How did Stevie Nicks know that this is my fear…’I’ve been changing because I built my life around you’ certainly spoke of my love for The Collingwood Football Club, but a divorce, no no I can’t, I love you.


Third quarter


Bloody Stevie Nicks and that bloody song. Because the Landslide occurred as The Saints kick 6.3 to 2.2, setting up an unassailable lead (well, that’s what thought). Membrey is causing us problems and kicks a goal within 24 seconds, and the flood gates open. Marshall takes a strong grab that makes Pies supporters jealous, and kicks truly. Good ball use finds Bianco on the boundary, but he misses. The kid looks like a good player and I think he will have a long career, and uses the ball well and makes smart decisions, smarter than most of our players. King marks and goals, and their talls are tearing us apart. Paddy Ryder completes the trifecta with the seven in a row, points to the sky and acknowledges his uncle who recently passed away, and his team mates swamp him with support. It’s not something seen a lot of at Collingwood recently, and what we developed during the 2018 season seems to have deserted us. That bond, that connection. JDG leads and marks from good kick, and finally we have our second, after over two quarters of unproductive footy. My notes have many examples of poor ball use; Mayne mentioned a few times. More misses also…but the thing that disturbed me the most was watching Mason Cox slide in and drop a mark, then just stayed on the ground slumping in disappointment. That is not the Magpie way, where repeated effort and repeated tackles had become our DNA. It was the final nail in the coffin for me…that is just not acceptable and shows a lack of heart. The other thing that just made me shake my head (but geez it’s easy on the couch), was Magden in a marking contest with both Roughead and Ryder, and he was almost a spectator sitting in the stands watching. I was becoming really frustrated, but as always this season, we turn it around when the game is almost lost. Daicos a late goal in his 50th, good goal, good player. Well done on 50, and will play many more.


3 Quarter time
Collingwood 3.7 (25)
St Kilda 10.8 (68)


So it’s 43 points, De Goey, Adams and Pendlebury our best. Quaynor quieter (Q & Q, that’s unusual). Grundy ok, with a few taps during game to advantage. Take the washing off the line, and what song plays next…? ‘Power And The Passion’ by Midnight Oil. First line doesn’t really matter, but two and three do.


‘People, wasting away in paradise.

Going backwards, once in a while (which we have).

Taking your time, give it a try’ (play the f$%@ on Magpies, please!!!!).


And then it happens…as always this year, we take the game on and things happen. We haven’t been flogged all year, really. First game against Bulldogs they kicked three goals in three minutes, and we only lost by 16 points. In Brisbane we lost after the siren, and they are two teams expected to be right in GF calculations. So we are not that bad, but seem to be playing consistently ordinary footy.


Pendles and JDG combine to set up Cameron but he misses with a poor kick. Mihocek has been real quiet, but never lacks effort (Cox needs to watch what this guy is doing) and bobs up with next two goals, one from a strong mark from Crisp kick, the other after a searching lead. Magden set up this play with a good spoil and kick, with Adams and JDG combining in the middle. This happened a lot today, and good things can happen when the two bulls are involved.


Another BT stat was Thomas has only kicked five goals this year, and even though he kicked the next, six from a small forward who has been given every chance to prove his worth, just isn’t good enough. Crisp on the right finds Hoskin-Elliott, he goals and we are back to 14 points. WH-E was ok today and got involved heavily in the last quarter. Fatherhood seems to suit him. Cox then marks a scrambled Adams kick and goals with a checkside kick, leaving 2:13 remaining and only eight points in it. We never really get the chance for another, but the fightback was spirited but just leaves the question. Why do we constantly play boring stagnant footy, when we often attack and get ourselves back into games that are dead and buried?



The best players on AFL site and for me are Jordan De Goey, Scott Pendlebury and Taylor Adams.


3 votes.

De Goey.  Things happen when he is involved in the game. Strong, fast, good grab just needed to finish better early and we might have jagged a win. When he’s on, we are a much better chance of winning; love watching him play. Just needs to be more consistent


2 votes

Taylor Adams. Always couldn’t put him in favourite brackets because of his kick, but really enjoy watching him play now. He’s almost the heart and soul of the club in some regards, and reckon he’d be very popular amongst team mates.


1 vote

Scott Pendlebury. Well when mentioning heart and soul, there is none more apt than the skipper. Truly great player who just goes all day. I think his kicking is 10% worse than previously, but great person and a pleasure to have watched him over the years.


So, another close lose, Poulter quiet today, and bugger listening to music before and during a game, cause it leads me into dark places…cue Trembling Hands.


COLLINGWOOD     1.2     1.5     3.7     8.13 (61)
ST KILDA                3.1     4.5     10.8     10.10 (70)


Mihocek 2, Cox, Daicos, De Goey, Elliott, Hoskin-Elliott, Thomas
St Kilda: King 2, Membrey 2, Ryder 2, Butler, Higgins, Marshall, McKenzie


 Adams, De Goey, Pendlebury, Daicos, Quaynor
St Kilda: Steele, Hill, Dunstan, Crouch, Sinclair, Membrey


Daicos (finger)
St Kilda: Nil


Collingwood: Macrae (replaced Daicos)
St Kilda: Battle (unused)


Crowd: 18,082 at the MCG





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