General Footy Writing: A gap in the script

By John Kingsmill

5.20pm, Monday 24 August 2009
5AA drivetime sport radio

-o-

Graham Cornes: An email from John Kingsmill:

“Every night, now, you two have a domestic squabble on air.”

Stephen Rowe: Yeah? What about?

GC: Oh, because you said something off air about Port Adelaide and I said…

SR: Because I said it off air and I didn’t want it on air.

GC: And then he says…

SR: Whatever…[angrily]

GC: He says:

“ I have a serious question. Why are you arguing like this on air? Is this meant to be edgy radio or do you really not like each other?”

Well sometimes, John, we say something the other one disagrees with or he says something I disagree with and then it is a matter of…

SR: Yeah, but off air should be off air.

GC: Rowey, if you are going to be hypocritical…

SR: I am not.

GC: …and say something on air, which is totally illogical with what you say, off air when we are talking about it…

SR: So you don’t do that?

GC: No.

SR: So you don’t talk to me off air, just you and I, just general conversation
and then when you are on air, say something different? Ever?

GC: Not something different.

SR: Ever?

GC: Not something different.

SR: Never?

GC: Well, I can’t say never.  But I am not going to say something…
I might say something…

SR: You love sinking me. You love exposing me. You love making me sound
like an idiot out there in radio. You love it. You love it. You love it!
Look me in the eyes. You love it!

GC: I don’t love it.

SR: You do!

GC: Because people ask me often “What’s it like, working with Rowey?”
And what do I say?

SR: What?

GC: “He’s a lot smarter than you give him credit for.”

SR: OK. Let’s go to an ad break. What’s the next one? Andy Otten…

GC: But in this case, you bagged Port Adelaide off air and then tried to stick up for them on air.

SR: People don’t want to hear this.

GC: That’s your answer, John?

SR: They don’t want to hear this.

GC: Uuuuhhmmm.

SR: Do you want to let everyone know how we are going to give away those two AFL Grand Final tickets? This is magnificent. You can’t get these tickets now, except for XXXX Homes.

GC: XXXX Homes, the ultimate footy fundraiser, is off and running. We have already given away…

-o-

Roll on, Adelaide.