No. It couldn’t happen.

John Kingsmill isn’t a North fan but, in Leicester style, he maps out a scenario for an unlikely, improbable but still possible outcome for season 2016. He may be proved wrong as early as this weekend. We hope so.

An Unofficial Guide to Gig’s Ladder Ladder Comp

Andrew Gigacz – Almanac stalwart and anagrammatist par excellence – has been running his Ladder Ladder comp for 24 years. He started with three people in 1991 and now has enough participants to deliver handsome cash prizes. You have to predict the finishing order for the season post-finals and that’s it. John Kingsmill shares his thoughts about constructing a Finishing Order for 2015. [WARNING: Numbers and statistics porn. – Ed]

Mathematicus Petticus

John KIngsmill straightens out a critic, he thinks. [Mathematicians please sort this out. We want x,y and pi involved on the page – Ed]

Hovering around the eight: a serious look at how the Top 8 can finish

Some clear thinking about the coming three weeks and what might transpire from John Kingsmill. Just put emotion to the side for a second and see where rational thinking takes you.

The view from Adelaide Oval

John Kingsmill runs the ruler over both Adelaide clubs, and suggests some future directions to equip them for September and beyond. 5th V 8th Elimination Final at Adelaide Oval? Delicious.

AFL Round 22 – Fremantle v Port Adelaide: A crazy year

In one dizzy year, Port Adelaide has become this year’s gatekeeper of the eight. After its loss, and news from Windy Hill, they flew home in a better position than when the game started. This is a crazy year, writes John Kingsmill.

Neil Craig, home for a day

John Kingsmill receives some frank answers from Neil Craig on sports science, his time at Adelaide and his future. [A very human press conference – Ed.]

The joy of not knowing

Against all advice, John Kingsmill has looked into the future and predicted the season’s final standings and this year’s premier. (Warning: This could prove uncomfortable reading for many fans.)

Caveat emptor

John Kingsmill says early season form and injuries suggest Adelaide’s season should be written off, but if you look a little deeper…

What Bro Bradley wants, Bro Bradley doesn’t always get

John Kingsmill gives Bro Bradley the good oil on Round 1.

John Kingsmill’s sport diary: Cup Eve

John Kingsmill’s unique take on the Cup.

John Kingsmill’s Footy Diary: After the Dust

Port Adelaide has opened its doors to the white shoe brigade, led by a Sydney-based TV celebrity, says John Kingsmill.

Lumps and Bumps

You can find yourself talking footy any-old-where.

John Kingsmill’s Footy Diary

ROUND SIXTEEN Fantasy Footy It’s been one of those weekends when most of my high performers agreed to abandon the cause: Matt Suckling – five kicks, four handballs and two tackles; Matthew Kreuzer – two kicks, four handballs and no marks; Jack Darling – five kicks, no handballs or tackles and no marks; Patrick Dangerfield [Read more]

John Kingsmill’s Footy Diary

The Winter Solstice When the little people start grinning I’ve consulted the Predicator again and I am here to tell you that the Big P never lies. We’ll need thirteen wins to make the eight this year. St Kilda and Essendon will fall short. The Swans, Carlton and Freo will have nervous times but they’ll [Read more]

John Kingsmill’s Footy Diary

  ROUND TWELVE Is anyone else prepared to admit they’ve fallen in love with Jaimee Rogers? I’m blond. I declare that up front; I’m not embarrassed about laying my cards on the table. Us blonds have become subject to cruel jokes ever since Marilyn Monroe seduced a simpler world. Jaimee has big eyes, a round mouth, and [Read more]

John Kingsmill’s Footy Diary

ROUND ELEVEN The dilemma of hope Three weeks of byes rips the supercoach teams to shreds. The balance of personal bias against common sense comes to the fore in the month of June. There’s no sense in backing a winning team in these comps if huge portions of them go surfing in Week Eleven, or [Read more]

John Kingsmill’s Footy Diary

ROUND TEN A teasing time Life conspires to interrupt football. Thank Christ! We’d all go mad if it didn’t. This weekend, we had a house-guest from Perth, sneaking over to Adelaide during their June long weekend, their Foundation Day, renamed earlier this year by the Barnett Liberal Government as Western Australian Day. That’s Inclusive-Speak for [Read more]

John Kingsmill’s Footy Diary

ROUND NINE Fireworks at AAMI Stadium They’d sold out; it was raining. They thought the big crowd needed something. As their players entered the field, the AFC let off some fireworks. Not many; just a couple of thousand of dollars

John Kingsmill’s Footy Diary

ROUND NINE Friday night Geelong had to win tonight and they did. But they made such a sluggish task of it. The Dogs are no force this year; they’re no easybeats. They’re not shirking. But they’re skinny up forward. They’re one tower short in their castle. Each goal they kick demands a sacrifice from the [Read more]