Almanac Poetry – A Beer With No Pub

He wandered into town,

Did that cold pot of beer.

And saw an old dog,

Licking its owner’s ear.


“Excuse me kind sir”

Said the pot of Carlton Draught

“But where may I find,

This town’s beating heart”.


The bloke with the dog,

Looked up at the beer

And said very slowly,

“The pub’s not ‘ere”


Now the beer got anxious,

As he stood in the sun,

As a warm pot of beer,

Is considered no fun.


“Where has it gone?”

He asked the old man.

“It’s gone into Spring Street

To see old mate Dan.”


“And he’s taken with him,

all the other pubs too.

There’s going to be

One big hullabaloo.”


The pubs were all angry

And gathered about.

To protest to king Dan

About the long beer drought.


Now old mate Dan

Ran this town,

With his big ears, black glasses,

And socialist frown.


He’d closed all the pubs,

On account of the virus.

And said to the people.

“Please stand here beside us.”


And the people were patient,

Considered and compliant,

But as the weeks went by,

Some thought Dan a tyrant.


So the pot of beer,

Was in a big jam.

He had nowhere to go,

Thanks to old mate Dan.


He was looking for laughter,

Fun and good cheer,

Like the pubs that thrived,

In the sun of yesteryear.



But mistakenly he took,

His amber eyes off the man.

Who’d missed his draught,

As all he’d had were the cans.


As swift as a hawk,

The man swooped on the beer.

And swallowed it up.

With a smile ear to ear.


“Sorry” he said

As he rubbed his big tum.

But whoever heard,

Of a beer with no pub?


Check out Dips’ most recent story HERE


More stories from Dips HERE


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About Damian O'Donnell

I'm passionate about breathing. And you should always chase your passions. If I read one more thing about what defines leadership I think I'll go crazy. Go Cats.


  1. It’s sad and the reality of the current time.

    Reading the poem through, I remember what I wondered when reading new social standards after terminating the state of emergency in Japan. People are encourages NOT to talk while dining at restaurants. While some restaurants remain open despite of closing at 8 pm and serving drinking by 7 pm, many premises are shut. Dining when restaurants and pubs are back on business can be like what your poem says.

    I really wonder how romantic relationships will be established in Japan under such standards/guidelines. I am worried of being single forever because I will lose opportunities to meet new people. Oh I want to exit the boring single life!!

  2. Dan listened to Dips
    Who’d had plenty to say;
    “You can drink all the beer –
    I’d avoid the meat tray”

  3. I’m very pleased you are my accountant. I reckon John O’Brien might be chuckling.

  4. PB – I’ve never won a meat tray in my life……………….that I can remember.

    JTH – what rhymes with accountant?

  5. Luke Reynolds says

    Outstanding Dips.

    We have copious amounts of beer with no pub in our warehouse right now sadly. Cannot wait to get back to the North Fitzroy Arms for beers and an Almanac lunch.

  6. Rulebook says

    Superb Dips v v well played

  7. Good luck Luke. Strange days. Warehouses full of beer and no one to drink it! Its un-Australian!!

  8. I miss going to the pub. Greatly

  9. Nice twist Dips.

  10. Daryl Schramm says

    Source-word hippo. Dunno what made me do it.

  11. Jarrod_L says

    You didn’t ghost-write this one on behalf of Perce did you Dips?

    Catch you at the NFA when we’re able to!

  12. Brilliant idea Jarrod. Could a pub re-brand as some kind of medical clinic?

    The NFA Health Centre?

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