The Pre-Wrap: Round V

FOR THE PHILOSOPHICAL MARNGROOK FAN

What a week it’s been in Footy Eddie.  Lots of hype around the place.  The Dawes ruling was one that caught our eye.  Down at the old BGS – and remember, so dogged in defeat, that’s where they learn to play the game – they call that one ‘the look away smother’.  The mere fact that it was Conca who copped it should tell us that this was no accident.  (Are you saying Conca is the new Ballyntne Wrap? – Ed)  Sure it was a bad call from the invertebrates on the review panel, but come on lads, once you’ve made it, stick to your guns.  The roll over must have been über-embarrassing even for you guys.

As you would expect, the good burghers of the Leafy East have something to say about the whole thing.  Ask any of the busy throng for an opinion on it and you’ll be asked to explain how Junior copped a suspension and Dawes got off for pretty much the same thing.  (Are you saying they’re anti-Jeff at Jellymont House Wrap? – Ed)  You’ll be there for a third skinny latté unless you refer them to the persuasive power of the Oval Office.  At which point it is wise to take a mobile call and excuse yourself.

And the rumpus on Gazza and they way they run the show up there where it’s beautiful one day and up to your water wings the next.  Let’s face it, there have been some bad choices all round.  Never mind Gazza – brilliant footballer that he is – being thrown into the Captaincy, Campbell Brown as a rôle model would have to defy gravity.  Then there’s the concept of the whole thing in the first place.  But the question on everybody’s lips would have to be, why didn’t someone tell the Ayatollah that Field of Dreams was only a story line to sell some more Hollywood fairy dust?

They’re getting pretty excited out there at Whingy Hill.  The word is that, while it’s a pity about the two boys who’ll miss out on the Anzac Day Glory, with a couple of other runners and Hille back, The Pies won’t stand a chance.  The pies in the Puckle Street Patisserie mightn’t stand a chance, but when it comes to the ones down at the Lexus Centre we’re not so sure.

And while we here at The Wrap distance ourselves from such superstition, there are those less enlightened souls who feel the two crucial injuries are divine retribution for some of the activities that went on behind closed doors last year on the northern fringes of the known world.

And while we’re talking of natural leaders and father-son transitions, are we the only ones to notice the real source of the newfound Self Belief at Bomberland?  Never mind the bloke behind the glass with the thousand-yard stare, or the invalid off screen pulling the strings.  Check out the bloke in the # 4 Guernsey.  Good football players are a dime a dozen.  Good leadership is worth its weight in Essendon membership tickets.

Everyone must have seen the footage of the Shinboner Rookie Majak Daw by now.  It’s on U-tube for goodness sake.  To see him striding from half back to half forward, seemingly in slow motion yet leaving everyone in his wake as his Avatar-dimension strides carried him across the ground.  And he bisected the goal posts from outside fifty with a long ball they had to retrieve from the Werribee River before they could restart the game.  We have seen the future, and it is a frightening sight indeed.

Of course it’s hard not to feel sorry for Carlton.  They have every right to feel badly done by after some of the maggoting calls in that tense final Stanza last weekend.  And they’ve all been analysed in minute detail.  One that seems to have slipped under the radar is Monfries’ handball to Zaharakis in the dying ten seconds.  Did it look a bit too slick to you too?

But enough of my gabbin, let’s see who’s going to be feeling alive after Round V.

The Lions v The Feeling Faints at The Gabba to open proceedings.  The Saints have brought back Kossy, McQualter and Stevie Baker to help turn the ship around.  If they don’t it right tonight they’ll never do it.  They only get one crack at The Metermaids and even Richmond have their measure now.  We’ll stick with them, if only for the great rides they’ve given us over the years on the Junction Oval Bandwagon.

The Tealers v The Mermaids in the Shadows of Mt Lofty Saturday Arvo.  After last week’s famous Victory you’d have to stick with Port wouldn’t you?  The Power, easily.  Look for some value from The Bagmen here too.  They may allow a discount for The Chokers.

Carlton v Adelaide under cover on Saturday Arvo.  Both sides had disappointing outcomes last round.  We see Carlton as being better placed to make amends.  And for all those bitter & twisted Bluebaggers who have said we’re anti-Carlton around here in the Wrapcave, were tipping the Silvertails.

The Shinboners v Struggletown on the Sunday evening under cover.  The question on everybody’s lips is will Coach Bradley unveil the Rookie of The Century for this Easter Sunday match?  That aside, these two clubs appear very even.  Neither has lived up to 2011 expectations, although the feeling is that North, after a fine debut season under Coach Bradley Scott, are on the slide, while The Tiges, also under a second year Rookie Coach are on the up.  Over the years, The Norsemen have handed Richmond some well deserved wake-up calls.  None more resented at Tigerland than North’s Preliminary Final win in 1975 that signalled The Tigers’ fall from Competition Dominance.   They never take The Shinboners lightly and Sunday will be no exception.  It’s our considered opinion that Punt Road will be celebrating more than a successful Easter egg hunt come Monday morning.  Struggletown with their break through win for 2011.

The Bombers v The Woodsmen on the Big Stage for the Anzac Day Blockbuster.  We’ve gone for TRP, as has everyone except the Drovers Dog and the Kiss of Death.  Why?  Because they’re fresher, have greater depth and are more experienced in tight games.  Not that these Marshmallows are a sugary confection that melts under heat.  This will be an absolute bottler, but The Dons will be weary after their sublime effort last week and The Pies have just that many more winners around the ground.  A suspended Dawes and an injured Jolly would have been handy for the Whingy Hill cause.  Paddy Ryder had a dog of a game last week, for which he’ll be keen to atone.  Professor Gadget will lead the defence and work the ball through the Collingwood Press, but closing The Maggies down altogether will prove an Anzac Day too far.  Keep your hands in your pockets.  Essendon can win this one with a bit of luck.  Ward Rooney has given us a perfect day for it – a sunny 24oC with light winds – which will suit The Dons’ pace, but at the end of the day, it will be the overall class of Carringbush that will wear down The Valiant Bombers to take the Four Points.  The Pies in a real test of their 2011 credentials.

Freo v The Dogs over where the balmy breezes sweep in from the Indian Ocean.  The Longshoremen may have slipped around behind us and on present form are set to go at least one better this season.  The Sons of The West on the other hand, sorry to say, seem to be heading in the opposite direction.  We’re sticking with The Homeside in this one.

Hawthorn v The Handbags at THOF on Easter Tuesday.  We like both of these outfits here in The Wraproom and opinions are divided.  Mrs Wrap of course has gone for her Beloved Hawks, but those staff more driven by reason than a vague loyalty to the Leafy East hold a less sanguine view of their chances.  These two teams have played some classics over the years and it’s good to see them facing off so evenly matched again.  The Geelong defence looks all that better for the return of Scarlett, and Rioli’s keen to make amends after his gratuitous slap on the wrist from the invertebrates. Buddy looms like a colossus over this contest and some of his single-handed efforts are worth the trip down from Manangatang on the VR bus – even on a race day up there.  But if anything happens to him, or he has an off day, they look pretty skinny in attack.  Especially without the undervalued Osborne.  The Moggies are not the team they once were either, although, under the other Scott they’re playing The Game As It Should Be Played.  On that score we’re going for them.  The draw would be tempting, but it couldn’t happen again – or could it?

Good tipping and even better punting.

And remember, if you read it in The Wrap you’ll know it’s not crap.

With all the hype going around about Collingwood going through undefeated, Essendon being ready to challenge for The Flag again, The Sunbeams going through the season winless and Hawthorn & Geelong’s re-emergence as Arch Rivals, we thought this week’s quote should be a bit sobering.  And before you email in those ‘so what’ missives, consider that the author- Aldous Huxley – has been dead for nearly half a century.

Armaments, universal debt and planned obsolescence – these are the three pillars of Western prosperity.

Enjoy the Easter break, drive safely, imbibe wisely and love unconditionally.

About John Mosig

I'm an Aussie Rules tragic who can remember, as a four year old, shaking the hand of Captain Blood in the rooms just before he ran out onto the ground after half time, as my Old Man slipped him a packet of under-the-counter Craven A cork tipped. Now it's my turn to take my grandson Ben through the ritual of character building that is the journey through PUNT ROAD to the outside world.

Comments

  1. Wrap – the Utube clip of Majak Daw sprinting down the grond and kicking that goal is the modern equivalent of stories that used to come out of the bush about young farmers kicking footies over wheat silos. He could be anything, this kid.

  2. John Mosig says

    He brings even more to the game than Billy Brownless Dips. google And The Big Men Fly play au and see what you get. I’m old enough to remember it.

  3. John Butler says

    TW

    A good get on your Tigers. And the Blues only barely justified your rare benevolence. :)

    But who could tip Port correctly?

  4. John Mosig says

    Not sure what to make of those Silvertails JB. It could be the coach but I have a suspicion it’s the Captain. The inspirational acts are becoming fewer and he doesn’t seem to marshal his troops. I could be wrong. It’s hard to get the overall picture from the limited TV images.

    We were in the Docklands pocket last night as Jack strutted his stuff. Pure magic. We play you again in July. Something to look forward to, eh?

    Anyone who said they tipped the Suns is either a genius, pure arsey or a bloody liar.

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