The Pre Wrap Lite – Mid-week Edition

by John Mosig


What a week it’s been in Footy Eddie.  James Hird has fulfilled his childhood ambition – to train The Dive Bombers.  David Evans said Hirdy was the standout applicant in an exhaustive interview process.  He must have been.  They’re paying the Prahran U9 coach a reported cool mill in his 1st year.  By now we all know who James Boag is, but do we really know who James Hird is?  First he waxed and waned about dumping his partners in his fledgling business venture and before taking on the post.  This helped loosen the ground under the Incumbent Caretaker Coach at Bomberland.  Then we had the unseemly denials On The Couch as he dared the cock to crow three times.  Next he started flirting with his old Baby Bomber Captain, enticing him to dump the team of farmers & graziers, whom he’d (Bomber) coached into three GF’s for two Flags, all so he could coach him, Hirdy, at Essendon.  Now, if Hirdy, without experience, is worth a mill, what would you expect his wet nurse to be paid?

But, if we’re to believe what we hear, Bomber’s had nightmares at the thought of the scenario.  Nightmares that have driven him to a nervous breakdown.   But are we actually hearing that the cat’s on the roof?

Naturally the noise from Puckle Street is shrill – John Coleman & Dick Reynolds didn’t have any coaching experience when they took it on and they brought in eight Pennants between them.  Dare it be said?  It was a different game back then in the days of the playing coach.  Everyone had a day job and they were playing for three quid a game.  (That’s $6 for those born into Gen X & Y – Ed)  Crikey, in 1951, Dick Reynolds – by this time non-playing coach – was named as 20th man in the 1951 GF because The Dons were down on numbers.  As Mrs Wrap’s saintly Mother would have told them out there where they tie down the windsock to see which way the wind’s blowing – be careful what you wish for.  You just might get it.

Of course, like the Whole Football World, we’d like to see The Bombers Fly High again.  It’s so sad when a team that such a short time ago challenged for Competition Supremacy is brought to its knees by its own folly.  We all look forward to the day Hirdy’s Bombers are once again a worthy competitor.  (Like the Visy Park Blues, eh? – Ed)

So the invertebrates at the Star Chamber couldn’t find any infringements from the Drawn Grand Final.  Surprize!  Surprize!  Come back about Round IX next season and have a look at the tapes.  Jolly’s clock on Kossy’s ear was no more nor no less than the one that cost Chris Grant a Brownlow.

We see the Ayatollah is busy rushing around for some pre-match entertainment for The Replay.  Before he gets too far down the track on that one, could somebody please explain to him that, while having INXS screaming out the lyrics of Suicide Blonde at a warehouse rave party would have the zombies rocking – it’s not really appropriate entertainment at a Football GF.  Especially not this, The People’s Grand Final.  How about a Country v City match from the Teal Cup teams?  Or even some of the pub rock bands still hanging around The Cultural & Intellectual Capital of the WideBrownLand?   Call me old fashioned, but surely we’ve got enough Footy songs to belt out without having to revert to lyrics such as –

You want to make her

Suicide Blonde

Love devastation

Suicide Blonde

And are we alone in suspecting that the extra tickets are available because it’s too short a notice to have them allocated to media competitions, travel agencies and various up-market wankers & greedy grubs?

And remember, if you read it in the Wrap you’ll know it’s not crap.

The Wrap Match Preview will be coming out after lunch on Friday.  We just wanted to get the breaking news to you all while it was still fresh.  There’ll probably be more twists and turns in The Saga of Whingy Hill by then anyway.

About John Mosig

I'm an Aussie Rules tragic who can remember, as a four year old, shaking the hand of Captain Blood in the rooms just before he ran out onto the ground after half time, as my Old Man slipped him a packet of under-the-counter Craven A cork tipped. Now it's my turn to take my grandson Ben through the ritual of character building that is the journey through PUNT ROAD to the outside world.


  1. TW

    Things only get worse on the entertainment front.

    Just to show how standards haven’t only dropped, but have been completely dispensed with, I heard the following statement on TV- “in a coup for the AFL, soul legend Lionel Ritchie has been signed…”

    Without wanting to sound like a grumpy old man, I wish to point out the following:

    1- if Lionel Rithcie is a “soul” singer, Jimmie Barnes is a metzo-soprano.

    2- if you win the appellation “legend” by selling a few records, then Weird Al Yankovic deserves equal credit with Stevie Wonder.

    3- if this is a “coup”, then there’s a coup available at a Tatts pokies venue near you every weekend.


  2. Ive particuarly enjoyed the media back slapping and I told you soing this week. Caro and Patrick Smith have been particularly poor but Smith is the champion of poor. Mike has just been Mike which is ordinary. As an aside. What has become of the Fev matter. Seems that there may have been much haste in chopping the Troubled One and the the Lions have a bigger headache in a $1.8M bill for no service.

    Here’s an idea for the entertainment. Toss the coin blow the siren and get on with it

  3. I love it Tony. I wish I’d thought of it myself.

    And JB – If it was good enough for the Arch Duke Ferdinand it should be good enough for the Ayaetollah Andreas. The man’s a raving lunatic – certifiable barking mad.

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