by John Mosig

What a week it’s been in Footy Eddie.  Home bodies & gardeners are up in arms that their favourite show has had to make way for the Collingwood-Carlton Blockbuster.  Handy for the kids of course, but what’s the problem?  Doesn’t everyone tape the match, stay away from the radio and fast forward the sponsors contributions when they get home after giving the cook a night off on Friday?

How long will it be before the Awful Football League wobbles under the weight of the unsellable Greater Western Sydney Losers and equally failing Metermaids?  And what’s the betting they go for the age old solution.  The one they drop on anyone who displeases them – the merger?  Move over Rythedale-Officer-Cardinia.  Make way for the Greater Western Sydney- Gold Coast Super Suns.  And how long before they bone the Shinboners?  Or keeping it local, how about merging Brisbane & the Gold Coast to resurrect The Brisbane Sun Bears?

Anyone catch the Footscray Full Forward the other day?  I must admit we weren’t paying a lot of attention to the context, but when we heard her say we’ll all have to put or shoulder to the wheel the whole staff around here in the Wrapcave stopped dead in their tracks.  Shoulders to the wheel?  I thought we were in the digital age Ms. J?  Isn’t that why we’re spending $45 zillion of our hard earned on rolling out a broadband no one really seems to want?  Maybe we should be spending it on wheels.  And of course shoulders.  (Is that for putting to the wheel or for crying on Wrap? – Ed)

While we’re talking about the things you pick up from the mainstream meedja – did you see one of Gaddafi’s sons – I think it was Slippery Said.  Defending his old man’s right to stay on even though quite a few of his fellow Libyans held an opposing view, he told us that “the captain doesn’t leave the ship when the tide is going out”.  I for one took a second take.  I thought the King of Moomba had died his hair and was coaching the Benghazi Magpies.  (Further proof Wrap that life imitates Football – Ed)

And we say farewell to Chicken Lips Nixon.  While not quite an ornament to The Game, he’s made us take a good long look at ourselves.  Now for the next scandal to rock the Ayatollah’s watch.  Wait for the exposé of a rigged outcome, be it final score, down the lines, first goal.  You name it.  Institutionalized gambling is a very slippery pole, and the Awful Football League is wrapped right around it.

But enough of my gabbin, let’s see who’s going to be wheeling free after Round III.

Carringbush v The Miseries on the Big Stage to open proceedings.  The Blues are sitting 2nd courtesy of two wins, one a percentage gift from their trip up to Sun World.  That they dropped Armfield & White for Collins & Jamison suggests they’re not yet quite settle at Optus Oval.  The Maggies bring in Skipper Maxwell and Neon Leon to replace the injured Buckley and the unlucky Gippslander Macaffer.  Look, sure it’s a feature game, and if you drop into the Kent or the Sarah Sands you’ll even hear the B word.  But for goodness sake, Carringbush at $1.27?  Have The Bagmen lost their minds?  Take as much as you can get.  We watched The Tigers take it up to this Royal Parade Outfit and only inexperience cost them that match.  The Metermaids were still working Cavell Avenue last week.  Sure The Pies’ two wins have hardly been testing, but they looked frighteningly workman like for ours.  The Woodsmen.

The Sons of The West v The Suns under cover at the traditional time.  Golly Josh Fraser has shot himself in the foot to get out of this one, and Guy McKenna has thrown three new boys into the fray.  They’d stand a better chance charging up the slopes of Fromelles.  Footscray.

Adelaide v Fremantle at Crow Park on Saturday Arvo.  The Chardonnays have been decimated by injury.  In fact more than decimated.  They’ve lost Dougherty, The Dolphin, Mackay & Sloane, but regain Tippett, Symes & Jaensch.  They jumped The Over Confident Hawks in the Opening Round and have had a rest since then.  Freo rely too much on their aging Skipper, who will set a new club games record tomorrow.  But that’s all he’ll have to take home from The City of Light.  Adelaide look to strong down back and Dangerfield will run riot across the forward line.  The Pride of South Australia to be ringing out across the wide open spaces of Footy Park as they ring the bell for full time.

The Tigers v The Hawks on The G for Saturday night’s Channel Rove match.  The Pieman has reined The Mayblooms in to $1.30, which may be a bit stingy.  Richmond have been playing some inspired Footy this season, albeit, in bursts.  Young Cyril will be sorely missed.   The Tigers lose McGuane and the strong-bodied Rance is already serving time.  Their absence will leave a big hole down back, but the re-jigged backline has plenty of pace. And Skipper Newman and Deledio can really hurt with their penetrating clearances.  Given the bounce, of the ball, they could trouble the tall Hawthorn attack.  The Tiges could even hold the edge in the midfield.  Having seen The Mustard Pots splinter then shatter under Adelaide’s pressure a fortnight ago you can expect the Tiges to be instructed by Coach Hardnose to apply plenty of it.  Look, The Squawkers hold no fears for The Tiges and if Jumping Jack gives Buddy & Roughie a lesson in goal kicking they could easily steal this one.  That’s why, at $3.30, Struggletown is The Wrap Roughie of The Round.

The Coasters v The Bloods at Paterson’s Curse on Saturday night.  The Swans did well to run down The Gliders last week.  The question is, what have they got left in the tank?  It’s a long haul across on the Indian Pacific.  The Weagles too came from behind to overrun The Troubled Port at Footy Park.  It’s a regular toss-up this one.  Mumford held his own against the might of Paddy Ryder & the Thug Hille last week; this week he has to do the same against Cox and the mobile Natanui.  It might just be a ruck contest too far.  Add Lynch & Kennedy and Perth’s never ending heatwave and The Wrap two-headed penny comes up West Coast.

The Redlegs v The Boys From Old Fitzroy at THOF for the early one on Sunday.  The Dees will be fielding close to their best XXII.  Brisbane on the other hand are minus their match winning Skippper and the rest of them just don’t look as though they want to be out there.  After a stellar debut season, Vossie has the look of a coach who has lost his players.  The clearances from last season and the recruiting of Le Fev and a team of hacks to launch a crack at The Flag might have a bit to do with it.  But they certainly don’t look like happy campers out on the paddock.  (Do you think if he had a chat to Matty Knights it would help Wrap? – Ed)  It’s The Dees for us here in the Wraproom.  And at $1.20 there’s an acceptable amount of value there.

The Moggies v The Chokers at Cat Central at the Traditional Time on Sunday.  Port have caused their share of upsets down at The Cattery in the past, but that was against The Sleepy Hollow Millionaires.  The Handbags won’t be so generous on Sunday.  Sitting 4th after two matches with a miserable percentage, they’ll be out for a big win in front of The Corio Oval Faithful.  And never mind leaving the rent money in the willow mint tin behind Nana & Pa’s wedding photo on the Loungeroom mantle piece.  Put it to good use.  The Cats at $1.07 it’s as good a place to park it for the weekend as any.   The Greatest Team of All, The Mighty Blue & White.

The Feeling Faints v The Gliders under cover for the Sunday twilight game.  The Sainters have been struggling in one way or another since the drawn Grand Final of 2010.  Now they’ve lost two key personnel in their Spiritual Leader Lenny Hayes and the minder Baker, as well as having to drop Blake.  But they regain Kossy, Schneider & Steven.  The Dons lose Myers and have recalled the goal hungry Monfries, Prisnal & Gumbleton.  They ran out of puff up in Sydney after leading at every change.  In fact after leading all day.  Saint Kilda won’t give them any respite either.  No matter how far ahead The Bombers may be, The Saints will always be breathing down their neck.  Archer is half handy in the goal square and St Riewoldt is always dangerous, not to mention Nasty Milne & Adam Schneider.  Essendon looked terrific against the distemper riddled Dogs in Round I.  But they’re not playing Footscray this week.  Expect a close one, and it could really go either way, but we’re giving The Feeling Faints another chance this week after The Dons let us down last week.

Good tipping and even better punting.

And remember, if you read it in The Wrap you’ll know it’s not crap.

With the season taking ominous shape for some after only two rounds, let’s spare a thought for the Long Suffering Faithful amongst us.  Let’s pause and recall the words of the 1st Century Roman Poet Juvenal, who speaking of happiness had this to say –

We deem those who from experience of life have learned to bear the ills, without being overcome by them.

About John Mosig

I'm an Aussie Rules tragic who can remember, as a four year old, shaking the hand of Captain Blood in the rooms just before he ran out onto the ground after half time, as my Old Man slipped him a packet of under-the-counter Craven A cork tipped. Now it's my turn to take my grandson Ben through the ritual of character building that is the journey through PUNT ROAD to the outside world.


  1. Fair wrap Wrapster.

    Just one little point. The problem with Fromelle for the diggers was that it had no slopes. The boys in the slouch hats walked across flat, open country and got belted (as indeed the Germans did when it was their time for an offensive). Still, my pathetic little insight into history won’t help the Suns.

    I wonder if any financial planners have been drawing up investment advice today and suggesting that their clients put their money on the short term footy market and pick up a guaranteed return of 5% (are the Dogs $1.05?)

  2. smokie88 says

    Alas, the Dogs are only a mere $1.01, and thus not at all worth the effort !

  3. John Mosig says

    Hey Smokie. 1% every week the Suns play it’s the equivalent of 24% for half a year. Take it Mate. It doesn’t get any better than that. And no risk. You can always keep your hands in your pocket when they play Brissy or Port up there.

    And Dips, you could well be right. But I thought Fromelles was the battle field that when we did take it and looked back down the slope a Diggers said, it wasn’t that they killed so many, it’s a wonder they let any of us live. It must have been somewhere else. Serves me right for trying to finesse one.

  4. smokie88 says

    You may be right.
    Especially considering that not every team which plays the Suns will be at such short odds.

  5. This is champagne. End of story. Love it.

  6. #3 Wrap – reckon that might have been the battle of Lone Pine at Gallipoli. Historians suggest that Gallipoli was like a picnic compared to Fromelle, Passchendaele, Verdun et al.

    The Suns might feel the game against Carlton was a picnic compared to what awaits them when they play the Pies at the G (because I don’t think the Pies play anywhere else this year do they?)

  7. John Mosig says

    No, it was on the Western Front Dips. I’ll ask Les Carlton. He’ll know.

    Last night’s final score suggests C’wood are a 35% better side than Carlton. If figures don’t lie expect a 27 goal margin. And watch the bookies close the book on the Suns before too long. How is that going to sit with Andrew & Adrian. Heads may have to roll before too long, eh?

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