What a week it’s been in Footy Eddie.  First we had the false alarm on Rossy Lyon.  Nurelle’s truly sorry for the scare she put through all those LSJOF who saw themselves once more up Kananook Creek on a low tide.  So much for those psyche-pop pieces in Dolly, eh Nurelle?  Of course, one man’s fish is another man’s poison.  (They both would be if they came out of Kananook Creek – Ed)  But it can’t all be Melbourne Bitter around the Long Table.  (Wrap, think about it – you can’t sit around a long table – Ed)  They’ve picked up a couple of 1st Round Draft Picks from Scurrilous Tom’s defection to The Cockroaches, and at some stage they’ll get a new coach.  They’ve got some good youngsters there and as Scarlett so famously declared as Rhett blurred to background amongst the cotton fields of Tara – Tomorrow is another day.

Secondly, we’d like to let you know of a real crisis; Mick Malloy has lost the best straight man he’ll ever have.  That’s right Wrappers, Bomber Harvey has been axed at Fremantle and Ross Lyon appointed coach.  Who said there were no secrets in Footy?  Maybe Nurelle was right after all, and Gary Lyon was sucking lemons to keep a straight face.  It seems they weren’t sucking lemons around at Elite Sports Properties (ESP).  They didn’t have a schmick, and have told Rossy he no longer has their trust.  What does that tell us about past rumours of defections and player/coach agents?  We find it as hard to believe as you.  The reality of course can only come from Rossy, and you can bet your bottom Swiss franc he ain’t saying.

Cameron Schwab’s copping some flack for thinking GWS & GCFC wouldn’t target smartly bred 2-year-olds that have proven themselves in barrier trials and won in the City.  Why wouldn’t he think that?  After all, the Ayatollah said that’s not what the rule was for.  Anyone notice how little fuss has been made of granting two FRDP to the raidee?  And two new potential champions for one greedy grub prima donna who doesn’t approve of the way the club is run mightn’t be a bad deal in the long run.  And the question has to be asked; who was minding the store(s) while this wholesale shoplifting was going on?

On top of that, there are those who feel it’s not all that good a deal anyway.  It wouldn’t be the first dud move Coach Mumbles has made.  And are you thinking what we’re thinking?  What are the other Young Cockroaches seduced from struggling clubs getting for turning their coats?  They may even be a bit teed off they didn’t hang out for the full thirty pieces of silver.  As ye sow, so shall ye reap.  Especially if you’re sowing the seeds of envy.

But what is to happen to OUR GREAT GAME if it’s all going to become about the money?  Sure, it’s the Greatest Game in The World.   But what if it isn’t tribal? What happens to it when the well runs dry?  You only had to have watched the 4 Corners program to see where the pursuit of the Filthy Lucre can lead us.  My folks used to talk of the pre-war players and the post-war players, the pre-war and the post-war Game; that was their divide.  What is going to be our kids’ divide?  Pre-Ayatollah & post-Ayatollah?  And what message are we sending our kids?

If you want to see how the establishment of a new team can be done, with a minimum of fanfare and certainly no fuss, look no further than the relocated Emerald Hill.  They had their flamboyant phase sure, and they had their times in rehab, but what do you expect from a tart like Sydney.  Once they got their wild days behind them, Tommy nearly took them to a Flag, Rocket got them respectability and Roosy showed them true love.  He delivered the Holy Grail, not just a Flag, but an era.  Not just an era, but they changed the way The Game was played.  Then to show that they were a mature family, they developed a succession plan; a succession plan that has delivered a 2nd Round Finals appearance – and possibly beyond – for the incoming coach.  This, with a team that for the last three seasons was predicted to be on the skids.

The Rivalry between GWS & The Sydney Bloods is as tribal as East v West in every sense – right down to the way the two tribes build their fires and sharpen their spears.

Now slip down the Hume to The Heartland of Aussie Rules.  Compare The Swans succession plan to the shenanigans that are going down at the Westpac Centre.  Sold to the punters as a succession plan, it would appear there’s no more planning in the succession than compromising some prickly egos in the Club where egos have had a play and a movie made about them.

And while we’re about it, let’s correct a misconception that has arisen out of this Tom Scurrilous business.  He’s not the highest paid player in the League.  The Ayatollah pockets a lazy two mill every year.  (And that’s likely to go up – Ed)

Congratulations Slammin Sammy Stosur.  What a way to shut Serena up.

But enough of my gabbin, let’s see who’s likely to be going through after Round II of The Final Series 2011.

The Mayblooms v The Bloods on The Big Stage to open proceedings on Friday night.  This is a tough one.  Ward Rooney has the weather settling down.  The early showers will take the sting out of the track and it should be perfect night for Football, which will suit Hawthorn’s possession style of Football.  And let’s make no mistake, this contest deserves perfect conditions.  The Club of Character v The Family Club.  Both have defied gravity all season, but by tomorrow morning one of them will have fallen to earth.

Now you may have heard this before, from Yabby, from Barrass, from Parko, and if you’ve been following Collingwood as long as Digger, from Jock Westpac.  Don’t take injured players into a Final.   And there maybe some out there who suspect The Mustard Pots have just broken that rule.  Stratton on the bench and Buddy at CHF must have question marks beside their names.  But then, what’s going to keep Hanneberry’s shoulder in its socket should he run into a brick wall, or Lewis and/or Guerra?  Last week, The Mayblooms just didn’t do enough.  It wasn’t that they came off with fuel in the tank.  They were running on empty before the Full Hundred Minutes.  That can happen to you when you play TGTOA.  Hodgie’s going to need all the help he can get, Buddy’s going to have to sock it too them and Cyril’s going to have to honour his illustrious Norm Smith Medallist Uncle.  Osborne & Whitecross owe the club one, as does Hale.  Busy being unsociable they forgot the oldest axiom of all.  As The Little Man in The T-shirts would tell The Boys at Punt Road – if you kick more goals than the opposition you’ll win every time.

This Steak & Kidney mob will play the Full Hundred Minutes, and they’ve got the Players to do a lot of harm.  We’d argue that the half forward line of O’Keefe, Reid & Rohan is as good as any going around, and they’re in Red&White hot form.  Gibson, as hard as he tried all night, found The Big Cats just too much for his 189cm.  He spots Spangher a couple of inches in the goal square, but The Swans’ forwards can boot them from outside the paint,  Something that Riolli & Hodgie have had a bit of trouble doing lately.  The Leafblowers defence was carved up against The Moggies.  They’ll have their hands full again tonight.

The first ruck of Mumford, Bolton & Jack looks All Australian.  Their Skipper is in Brownlow form, McVeigh & Kennedy know what they’re doing and the bench looks balanced.  On form they shadow The Squawkers’ midfield.  But form is only as good as your last performance.  And herein lies the prediction.  Those who saw The Tigers outplay The Swans here a few weeks ago (And in the equivalent match last season Wrap – Ed) would be thinking they’re not that good, and will be tipping The Hawkers.  For those who believe The Hawkers are too Paid Up, Proud & Passionate to turn in two shockers in a row will be of a like mind.

We’ll have the fire blazing and a sharpish King Island tasty along side the walnuts & dates on the cheese board with a bottle of ’97 Castel del Monte chianti breathing on the ready for this one.  And the liquid amber out the front will be confidently draped in the GoldenBrown of the Leafy East.  Yes, Wrappers, as conviction is the sire of success, we’re saying next week’s Preliminary Final will be between Carringbush and The Happy Team At Hawthorn.

The High Flying Eagles v The Miseries at Fortress Sooby on Saturday night.  Boy, is this one that flows off the keyboard?  And before the cries of anti-Carltonism start storming in, let me tell you that here in The Wrapcave we’re proud signatories to the News Limited Code of Practice.  We cherish our integrity more than our three personally autographed Royce Hart premiership posters.  From amongst The Sage Pundits, The Miseries are friendless.  Only the loyalty – which BTW, we deeply admire – of Robert Walls, Samantha Lane and The Village Idiot have them picking them.  But let’s be honest here; they aren’t without a chance.  You’d give them slightly better odds than Burke & Wills.  To start with the forecast is for scattered showers and gusty winds.  This will favour The Bluebagger smalls over the Eagle tall timber.

But it’s the line-ups that have us concerned here in The Wrapcave.  No Kreuzer & Gibbs – both #1 draft picks.  And Jarod Waite leaves a huge gap.  Down back, Jamison may be underdone.  Thornton can’t hold a sensible conversation, let alone the player with something to prove to his old teammates and to the administration at Optus Oval.  We’re not sure Yarran has the concentration to cover LeCras all night and no one is going to hold Nick Nat Anui.  Joseph, Duigan & Laidler, as blue collar as they’ve been all season, may feel that they’ve overshot Subiaco and found themselves treading water out beyond the second break at Cottesloe.

Fast forward to the midfield and the question has to be asked; when is Juddy going to turn it on for Oscar Dylan?  All that late night nappy changing and bottle warming, surely OD has realized the gravity of the situation and said, Dad, don’t worry about the next few weeks, I’ll sleep through?  Not that The Weagle Faithful won’t have plenty of advice on the matter for their former Captain.  That Rattz has left Robbie Warnock with a solo rucking role suggests he has conceded the high ground and will take the fight to the trenches.  He’s got some solid foot soldiers for this, and plenty of pace.  But let it be said, Murphy will know he’s not playing Essendon this week.  And you’d have to expect that Woosher has noticed how much damage Kade Simpson inflicts when left unmarked.

Carlton will do their Coach and their Faithful proud, but I’m sorry Rattzbaggers, bury your heart at Subiaco, this is a match too far.  (Hey, Wrap, you’re not supposed to smile while your commiserating – Ed)

Good tipping and even better punting.

And remember, if you read it in The Wrap you’ll know it’s not crap.

About John Mosig

I'm an Aussie Rules tragic who can remember, as a four year old, shaking the hand of Captain Blood in the rooms just before he ran out onto the ground after half time, as my Old Man slipped him a packet of under-the-counter Craven A cork tipped. Now it's my turn to take my grandson Ben through the ritual of character building that is the journey through PUNT ROAD to the outside world.


  1. TW, you may be right.

    But I take comfort from your strike rate last week. :)

  2. You can be assured that I take no pleasure in predicting the end to Carlton’s brave little season JB.

    And right it is that you take comfort from the infallibility of The Wrap Crystal Ball.

  3. Don’t youz no nuffin wrapster.

    Them Blew’z got Warnock to kick’m a crewshall goal in a tite match.

  4. But huwze gunna git da ball tu him Fanto?

  5. Wrapster – last week you picks were crap. This week less crap. I reckon the Swans might get up in a close one.

    Great work.

  6. Dear Mr The (Pre)Wrap

    Conviction is the sire of success, yessiree. Your considered dilligence in all things speculative has once again found favour with the brave, who in turn are favoured by fortune and that is why your presumption, assumption (and by the sounds of it, tonight) consumption should be applauded. Interestingly, I am of a similar opinion: The Hawks by a dozen (goals? points? beers? – all of the above).

  7. We are the mighty fighting hawks … and now we smell blood …

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