The footy, and its massacre of the English language, is back!

Yesterday seemed to be the return to work day for many AFL football teams, and accompanying them, came the breathless reporting of every training drill and players and coaches wheeled out for the obligatory interviews and press conferences.

In the afternoon news hour on SEN, the young reporter covering the day reported these two gems:

  • Dustin Martin still, according to Chris Newman, needs to work out the balance between his football and his social life, as during 2012 he had, according to the reporter, “a number of off-field discrepancies
  • Later, she reported the sad news of a likely 2nd knee reco for a young hawk, who injured himself “during match day stimulation” at training.

Say what you want about Healey, Slater and the rest of the Channel 9 cricket folk, or Bruce and his stats and passion, nothing mangles the English language like the return of the footy season!!

Looking forward to this club house leader opening the floodgates to Pandora’s box of worms to more mixed metaphors, buggered similes and simply wrong wordage through the 2013 season.



About Sean Curtain

"He was born with a gift of laughter, and a sense that the world was mad". First line of 'Scaramouche' by Sabatini, always liked that.


  1. “nothing mangles the English language like the return of the footy season!!”


  2. Peter Schumacher says

    “Back to back” anything gives me the tom tits.

  3. What about back to back to back to indicate three in a row. Suitable only for a game of Twister

  4. “Three- peat” is just as obnoxious. What is wrong with the British/Australian term “hat trick”?

  5. How can we do a linguistic review of Australian Rules football commentating without recalling the marvellous contributions of the late Jack Dyer. His ‘Dyerisms’ were so appropriate for the vernacular required to call this particular sport.


  6. Barkly St End says

    Fantastic stuff.

    We are left wondering what kind of “stimulation” would have happened to the player that would have left him with a body part broken. As a male, I shudder to think.

    Is it possible to have an off-field discrepancy?

    Maybe the till in the canteen didn’t reconcile after a day’s hectic trading?

    Maybe Dusting returned to the dressing room after training only to find he didn’t have a pair of identical socks? or his shirt didn’t match his trousers? or he gave an account of a night out to his team mates, and the story didn’t quite gel?

  7. appropriately Jack Dyer’s column in The Truth was named Dyer ere, i think.Tho I only bought it for heartbalm, or was it the form guide?

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