The Comeback Kids

On Monday, Anthony “the self-proclaimed Man” Mundine announced to the world that he planned on making a comeback to rugby league. Mundine spent 7 years in the top grade and played over 120 games before taking off to the squared circle and strapping on the gloves. According to the Man’s own timeframe, he’ll be running onto the paddock sometime in 2018 at the spritely age of 42 big ones. Apparently Choc needs a year to prepare and locate some speed for his legs. Perhaps, it’s fortunate that his cousin is James “More speed than Oxford Street” Roberts?


Now I’m not one to question the judgement of a man who has spent the better part of his life getting punched in the face for money but I do wonder whether waiting a year to make a comeback might hurt his chances. If you ask me, Mundine should be showing up at St George-Illawarra training, politely acquainting Benji Marshall with his right fist, popping the number 7 jersey on his back and getting to work practicing the cartwheel and backflip try celebrations.


Besides getting excited about the Dragon’s scoring chances, news of a Mundine comeback got me thinking: Who would I like to see make a return to an arena they once called their own?


So I came up with the following old cheezels I’d love to see get back into the mix:


  1. Leigh Matthews

If you ever watch Leigh really closely during the AFL broadcasts you can still see the little twinkle in his eye when the panel is discussing contested possessions. Word is that on Saturday night, following Steven May’s murder of Stefan Martin, the Channel 7 producer had to find a bib for Leigh he was deadset drooling that much. Can you imagine the old dog back in the game? Sure he’d have no run in his legs and he’d probably struggle seeing the ball under lights but he’s got 50 years of football knowledge simmering inside his scone and I’m willing to wager that 62 years on this planet hasn’t quelled his bloodlust. If anything I daresay he’s more powerful now than he was when he played. Old man strength is real.


  1. Mark Philippoussis

Remember when Australia had a wild child of tennis that we could be proud of? Before Bernard and Nick and Little Lleyton there was the Poo. Who can forget his laissez-faire attitude to life, his innocent good looks and his on-again off-again relationship to being a good tennis player? Who can forget his trailblazing role in reality-dating television that has seen programs in that genre blossom for years to come? Without him we’d never know who Blake Garvey or Sam Frost even were. Can you imagine that life? Come back Poo, come back and shape the next generation of Australian tennis players into debonair showmen, capable of greatness but rarely able to achieve it. If Aussie Pat stays in charge we’ll never get a chance to see Bernard Tomic on a reality show set in a Gold Coast strip club. Australia needs you. Channel Seven’s ratings need you.


  1. Grant Hackett

I know what you’re thinking but no, it’s not too soon. I realise he just completed another comeback with his bid to make Rio 2016 but Hacky’s latest mile high nipple-grabbing antics suggest the best place for Grant, and the safest place for business class passengers everywhere, is with him back in the pool. Preferably submerged.


  1. Nathan Brown

Honestly the bloke deserves another crack at coaching in Australia. He’s served his penance in the UK and it’s about time an NRL club threw him a lifeline and got him back over here to slap a few players around and do what he does best: coach rugby league. He could provide the instant success that a cellar-dwelling NRL club really needs.


  1. Harold Holt

Why should we restrict ourselves to sport. Let’s be honest, federal politics is in a dire state of affairs and everyone’s had a gutful of everyone. Surely it’s about time Harold said “Zàijiàn”, exited the submarine, and swam back to shore. He’s cost Australians a fortune in light bulbs.


  1. Brin a bloke who merits a return to the big stage is Kid Hardy Kid Who, you may ponder. Brin if you were around in the halcyon days of World Championship Wrestling , the 1970’s, you could never forget him.. I can’t ever recall him winning a bout in his TV wrestling career, though , like every rule, there may be an exception.

    A mate of mine said he recalls Kid Hardy beating Freddy Bergger circa 1976-77 though i can’t recall seeing this bout. He also may have won a few bouts due to his opponents being disqualified, such were the regular floggings he copped.

    Alas Tasmania’s most famous wrestler is no more, having passed away in the Philippines back in 2011. A comeback by Kid Hardy? I’d like to see that.


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