The Beeaanly Bugle: Back On The L’s



Back On The L’s.


The Beeaans, with more than a handful of games experience now, were fully prepared for an assault on F Grade, and would open their first full season with two games against the teams that would eventually be the two grand finalists for the division, taking on eventual premiers Mid-Life Crisis, and runners-up Cash Money.


The opening game, against The Crisis, saw the youthful Beeaans taking on, what the name suggests, some blokes in the middle of their life, complete with their young children and spouses in the stands. The game itself was close, with the final score reading 30-25, and had it not been for our turnovers, 22 in total, we may have actually started the season off with a win. A major highlight was Lockstock dropping his first career Beeaans points, coming from a three point bomb. The turnovers were largely poor passes, and not handling a full court press well, but honestly, why was there a full court press in F Grade? Skip was the Beeaan of the Week, putting up nine points, shooting 80 percent from the field, grabbing a monster 14 rebounds, four offensive, getting one assist, one block and two steals as well. Moss was the tidiest with the ball, only committing one turnover, picking up one assist, and grabbing four rebounds, while not missing (or attempting) a single shot.


As a team, free-throw shooting is a target area for improvement, and Skip especially missed out on a lot of points in the first season. This week in particular was no different, with The Beeaans only making 2/11 of their free throws, a measly 18 percent. Shooting as a whole was okay, with the field goal percentage being 39 percent, and the three point percentage being 29 percent. Not bad for a bunch of guys who had barely played before a year ago.


With his long, gangly, intercept and on-ball strip prone arms, Moss was a defensive stalwart for The Beeaans. While the numbers only show four steals for the season, this number could, and if not for some uncoordinated teammates, would have been so much higher. On top of that, he has an adept ability of finding himself under one of the many air-balled three point attempts from one of the other boys, and immediately putting it back in. Moss, aptly nicknamed for his similar appearance to the IT Crowd character played by Richard Ayoade. Moss, an exported Beeaans player out of the UK, is especially handy when it comes to steals, using his long wingspan, he pokes and prods while defending, usually knocking the ball loose. His NBA comparison is Gary Payton, AKA The Glove, Moss is a very handy addition to The Beeaans. In addition to his efforts swiping the ball away, he was our third leading rebounder this season, snatching just under 4.5 a game, with his personal best effort a nine board night. Moss is without a doubt the key defensive cog for The Beeaans.



Moss passes the ball.



The Beeaans second game of the season came against Cash Money, and just like the first game, turnovers were a huge issue. A monster 29 turnovers, with Grandpa Bean committing seven, Lockstock six, and Moss five turnovers. The Beeaans, clearly lacking the basic game sense needed to keep hold of the ball, have all become frustrated with the consistent turnovers, and while I won’t be going further into the immediate improvements the following week, it did get cut down from 29, to six the following week. The moment of clear turnaround was halftime of the game against Cash Money, where Grandpa Bean, looking up to the scoreboard, then back down to all the boys and unleashing an expletive riddled speech that ripped the boys to shreds, telling us in polite terms, to stop handing the ball to the opposition on a platter. This kicked the boys into gear, who kept hold of the ball, and cut out the defensive half turnovers. In addition to this, a slick defensive play from No Ice caused an offensive foul on the oppositions best player, who took to the call poorly, giving the referee a few choice words that resulted in a sin bin. Even for The Beeaans, playing 5 against 4 is easy, and a rapid run of points scored, and only few against, made the game seem much closer than it initially seemed.


Free throw numbers improved against Cash Money, going up to 5/12, good for 42 percent. While there is improvement, it is nowhere near what The Beeaans want it to be. From the field, The Beeaans shot 27 percent, and just eight percent from three. While the week before was decent, the regression this week shows The Beeaans still have a long way to go in order to be competing for titles like they are aiming for. Skip recorded a double-double, with 13 points and 10 rebounds, while Chinwag knocked down a three, a sign of what is to come.



Chinwag letting the boys know he has ice in his veins.



Over the long season break, Chinwag tirelessly worked to improve his jump shot, particularly from deep. After not scoring in the first season, Chinwag was desperate to make an impact defensively and offensively. A classic ‘3&D’ player, Chinwag’s game revolves around his three-point shooting, and his defensive abilities. He is our own version of Klay Thompson, a defensive stopper, and knock down shooter. While he is yet to make more than one bucket in a single game, he is determined to achieve that goal, and none of The Beeaans would be surprised to see him knock down two, or three, or even more sometime in the near future.


For those keeping track, we have Kamanchi as Kobe Bryant, Lockstock as Draymond Green, Pigwan as Dennis Rodman, Skip as Joel Embiid, Moss as Gary Payton, and Chinwag as Klay Thompson.


Make sure to stop by next week as The Beeaans go back to back, and we get our final player profiles on No Ice, and Grandpa Bean.




To read more of the Beeaanly Bugle by Connor Hoetzel click HERE



The Tigers (Covid) Almanac 2020 will be published in 2021. It will have all the usual features – a game by game account of the Tigers season – and will also include some of the best Almanac writing from the Covid winter.  Pre-order HERE


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